War of hearts
by taschenreschner
Summary: She was a Princess, whose duty was a difficult one; marring the enemy. This is her journey in a country,where she was not welcomed, around people, who can't forget her origin and with a husband, who isn't easy to please. In Alaska she is going to learn about pain, loneliness and humiliation, but here also she will find the strength to be a great Queen and find the love of the life.
1. Chapter 1

I was staying in front of the mirror, seeing my reflection and trying to gain more courage as possible. I kept starring the girl on the mirror and she starred me back. I was searching the answer of my problem in her, but she seemed as lost as me. There was the veil resting in top of my head together with my diadem. I had on the most beautiful dress I had wore till now, but that didn't seem to make me happy. Nothing seemed to make me happy, since I discovered my father's decision.

I was to weed Prince Edward of Alaska. There had been a war between Forks and Alaska since forever, but for my bad luck it seemed that the victory was not on my father's side but on King Carlisle of Alaska.

They were tired of this war, as were the people in forks also. They wanted a way out, but anyway they had won the war so they had the right to do anything they wanted with Forks, with my home.

As the peace contract was signed between my Father and King Carlisle many destinies were decided. Forks was now a part of Alaska. All my people had to pay extra taxes for the kingdom of Alaska. My father had still his title, but it was not of much worth.

There was only one way to protect my country and that was me marring King Carlisle's young son, Prince Edward Cullen.

I had heard a lot about him. He was the heir of the throne. He had fought against us and was one of the persons that made possible the defeat of Forks and the victory of Alaska.

He was described as a ruthless man that loved his family unconditionally and that hated Forks with the same passion. There were many words circulating about his bad character and his short patience but I was not naïve to believe this things. People tended always to exaggerate.

The only way to know, who the real Edward is, is to meet him and see if everything that is being said about him is true or not.

I knew that I had not so much time to think. I had to get out of this room and follow my destiny. That is what my father said to me. That this was my destiny, my obligation and my life-long job. I had to be the perfect wife Prince Edward could ever wish for.

I turned around and opened the door of my room. I kept walking steadily toward the Hall, where my father and a messenger from Alaska were waiting for me.

The hall was very long, so I had time to collect myself and to show them that I was not a small girl and that I could fulfill my duty. I would protect Forks with any cost. Nothing was more important than the survive of Forks.

Every steep brought me nearer the main door, nearer my destiny and farther my land, father and people.

As soon as the guards saw me, they announced my name and the big doors opened. I stepped inside and saw my father seated in his throne and the messenger from Forks staying on his feet in front of my father.

As soon as I say my father all my courage crumbled and I could barely stay on my feet. I felt dizzy but I couldn't permit that to happen. There was the messenger from Alaska and I couldn't be weak on his eyes. I would never let myself be weak in front of a person from Alaska, let alone a messenger.

I went to my father and hugged him with all the force I could master. I just couldn't disconnect myself form him. I knew that there was a big chance that I wouldn't see my father for a long time and I had to use visely these last minutes with him.

My mother was staying there beside my father. She was cooping with my leaving better than my father. She had always been stronger than dad, when it came to express the feelings, but I knew her better that anyone else. I knew that behind her rigid posture was hiding a woman that was so sad because her only daughter was going to get married with the enemy. I knew she worried about my safety and my happiness. But it was my duty to my parents and Forks. I did the same thing with my mother. I hugged her andsmelled her hair hoping the smell would last long and I could carry this memory with me.

I saw as the messenger was getting impatient and that he wanted to leave. I parte from my father and after saying goodbye to my best friend, I entered the carriage that would led me to Alaska.

The carriage was really pretty. All made with the best wood and I could see clearly the Cullen kingdom sign on top of the carriage. The colours of the carriage also resembled the Alaskan flag. Inside the carriage was very pretty and the benches were comfortable. The satin material gave me a feeling of what to expect.

I knew very well that the Cullen kingdom was rich. I had heard about their wonderful palaces and prospectus economy. I wish I could say the same thing about Forks, but the reality was totally different. The war had destroyed the economy in Forks. Many people's houses were destroyed, many were dead and the people had nothing to eat.

The place I was going to, was very different from mine. I knew that quite well. Like I knew that they would never accept me as a fully member of their family. There were many years of war and too much hate between us. That is the reason that we did never found a way to resolve our conflict. It was better fighting and killing than seating in front of each other and finding a solution.

The carriage was walking staidly throw the woods. I kept thinking of my father and my friends. There was a big chance that I would never see them again.

Suddenly my thoughts shifted to someone else. My future husband. How was he? I had never seen a picture of him. Was he pretty? I just knew that he was thirty years old and that scarred me a lot. I was just seventeen. There was no way I could compare with what he had lived and I would like a kid.

Was he an understanding person? Would he see me as the daughter of his enemy, or as his wife?

There was something else that scared my more. My duty to give birth to a son. I needed a son to secure my position in the Cullen kingdom. He would be my strength, and would make my role as queen more natural or acceptable.

While I was lost in my thoughts the carriage stops. I see many people waiting outside. There were two man and four women. One of them that was, the oldest, but also the most arrogant-looking spoke first.

''Welcome to the Kingdom of Alaska Princess Isabella Swan'' she said all this while bowed and all the other were bowing at me at the same time.

'' Thank you'' I said with a trembling voice. I didn't understand why the carriage stopped in the middle of the woods and not in front of the Cullen castle.

''I would like to know, why did we stop here?'' I asked, mastering my strongest voice.

''Princess Isabella this is the border between Forks and Alaska. We have been waiting for you from the morning. We are here to present you the Cullen kingdom clothes and to prepare you to enter the castle.'' She said very surprised from my question.

The other two women were carrying to many layers that looked like a big dress. I say that man left aside to gave me room to change.

I didn't want to. I had chosen the best dress to wear. I had worked so heard before coming here and they were saying that my dress was not good enough for them.

They started to free my from my old dress, while the old woman was supervising everything and every move. I see as the women step on the white layers of my white dress, while trying to remove it. My eyes were glued to the ground as they were stepping on the white dress that I so carefully had chosen with my friends.

After they helped me out of my dress I was just standing on my breeches. I was hugging myself as the old woman kept studying me all the time.

She made a motion with her fingers and the helpers started to remove my breeches. I was standing all naked in the middle of the forest, with my eyes full of tears.

They helped me in a beautiful white dress. It was much more big and expensive than mine and that made me feel so small.

All the time my eyes went to the dress on the floor all destroyed from the dirt on the wood and the way they seemed always to step into.

When I thought I was ok the old woman came near to me. She was so near my face and kept studying me. Than her eyes went to my necklace that was on my chest. It was a simple golden chain with an oval pendant. Inside was the photo of my mother. I had carried that necklace since I was a kid. It was a way of feeling near to her.

Suddenly her hand comes to my throat and grabs my necklace. I try to protest but she yanks it from me and throws it away. I feel my tears fall freely.

I kept seeing as my mother's necklace felt on the ground. I tried to grab it but she stopped me by my arm

''You can't have anything that comes from Forks'' said she with a stoic voice.

My tears didn't seem to stop. I tried to say something to her but she said

''Better accept it right now. Everything coming from that worthless land will be thrown away. Like you clothes, that necklace and everything else, whose place is not in the Cullen kingdom.''

I understood very well the way they saw me. I was the daughter of the enemy. They would never accept me.

But in this case I could just think in my mother's necklace laying there on the ground. I felt so cold. Suddenly was very cold even though today was a sunny day. I just felt cold very cold…

* * *

**Hi! I just felt bad, because I didn't finish this story and I had promised this to you guys.**

**I would want you guys to be with me during this journey, but I you don't trust me any longer I totally understand that.**

**I want to thank pmk kelly, because she is the reason I am writing this again.**


	2. Chapter 2

"Chapter 2

I felt the carriage come to a stop for the second time this day. I knew that we were in Alaska and probably in front of the Cullen castle. The door was opened and two guards came to help me outside. There were many noble woman waiting for me. They were all divided into two lines. In the middle was my way to the castle.

The woman I met on the woods came again with her stoic posture to accompain me toward my way to the castle. Even though she was not a peson I wanted near, it was better than walking alone. I felt my legs trembeling. Why wasn't there a manual how to behave around a group of noble woman that yesterday were the enemy. The woman by me seemed to sense my distress and helped me move forward.

As I was walking I tried not to look right and left because I would meet with the gaze of this noble woman, who were studying my every move.

I kept moving steadily with my head raised but not daring to look to the sides.

I could hear very well what they were saying.

_She looks very young._

_She looks pretty though_.

But she doesn't have bloond hair. That was stupid. Why should I have""blond hair.

_I love her hair. They look so shiny and thick._

_Yeh but she looks so pale._

I tried to hear the woman from my left and it was pretty much the same.

_She is the only child of King Charlie?_

_Yes his only child_. Poor ma_n giving his daughter to the man he has fought during all his life._

_I think she is going to be a good queen._

_You think!_

_She is so young and Prince Edward is already thirty. I don't know what for a Princess or a future Queen she is going to be, but first she has to give birth to a son._

_I don't think that is going to be a problem. She is so young._

_There in Forks they have like ten children._

_Let's hope, because Prince Edward is waiting for her to baring his heirs._

I couldn't believe that were talking about my future children. I felt so scarred. What would happen if I gave birth to a daughter? Would they reject her?

No, that was not possible. I knew I had to give birth to a son to carry Edward's title and legacy, but that didn't mean that I couldn't have a daughter. I wanted so much a daughter only for myself.

I knew if I gave birth to a son, he would be a Cullen child and probably raised away from me with all the Alaskan traditions. He would be prepared to be the next king. He would most likely see me only one time per month. He would be raised by nurses and then send to schools to prepare him for his future.

But if I had a daughter she would be only mine. I would have all the time of the world to be with her. She would be raised as a princess of course, but I would have much more a say in her education. She would be all my life.

I saw that I had arrived at the main door. I should stop thinking about my children. I still had time. I hadn't even met my future husband and I was thinking about my future children with him.

I passed through the doors into a marvellous hall. Everything was crafted with gold. The room was gigantic and full of light. The gold colour dominated in this room and made it look warmer and hospitable.

The woman that the entire time had been by my side informed me that she would show me my rooms. I said nothing but just followed her, while she walked without stopping with her had held high.

Everywhere we passed was wonderful. It was so much pretty than in Forks. The luxury was obvious and I could see the power the Cullen Kingdom had.

After passing a big hall she informed me that the big door was the door to my rooms. The door itself was beautiful. It was made of an expensive wood and was crafted like everything else in this Kingdom with gold. She pushed the handle and opened the door.

I was amazed, speech less. The beauty in front of me was indescribable. These rooms were grandiose. The dominant colours were light green, beige and golden. There were two big windows in each room that made the rooms fully illuminated. It was almost idyllic. The sofas looked so comfortable and so pretty. The light green colour looked so good with the golden hands of the sofas. There were small working-tables in every room. They were so practical and at the same time beautiful.

At the end was my sleeping room. It was immense. I don't know why someone needed so much space to sleep. But I was in love with this room. It was oval shape. There were three big windows that went from the ceiling to the ground. In each window were golden curtains. The amount of light these windows brought into the room was the beginning of the room was a small table, where I could write and keep all my letters. The wood of the table was so shiny and the chair in front of the table was so big and comfortable. And of course all in gold.

In the floor were two Persian carpets with golden and green colour. One in front of my bed by the small sofa that was a beige colour. And the other to the side of my bed.

The most grandiose object in my room was my bed. It was unbelievably big. I couldn't see inside because of the beige and golden curtains covering the bed.

One of the women opened the curtains and I saw the bed. I was very big. The cowers were thick and beige with the Cullen sign in golden crafted. The same thing was at the headboard of the bed. In the wood there was the Cullen kingdom sign.

Everything looked wonderful. I was so happy. At this time I understood that all this time I hadn't said anything.

Suddenly I hear the sound of the guards presenting Queen Esme and Princess Rosalie and Alice.

All the woman in the room bowed and I did the same. I had never seen Queen Esme or any of the Princesses.

They were at the door. The three of them. Queen Esme had an air of authority and the way she held her self remembered me so much of my mother. She had caramel color hair .Her face was really pretty and her eyes were so deep. I think she could look inside my soul. The dress she was wearing was very beautiful quite simple but very expensive. She had her crown in top of her head.

Then I focussed on the Princesses on both sides of her. The most obvious was Princess Rosalie. She was so beautiful. Her golden hair looked like satin made. Her face was perfect and the skin looked like a sculpture. She was all god-made. Very tall and with a disdain and arrogance that was very visible in her features.

In the other side was Princess Alice. She had shorter hair than Rosalie and totally dark. She was quite short and was wearing a read dress, which looked expensive and extravagant at the sine time.

"Welkome to Forks Princess Isabella. I hope you had a nice journey and that you rooms are to your pleasing." She said to me.

" Thank you, You Highness. My journey to Forks was very comfortable and my rooms please me a lot."

" I am very happy to meet my future daughter-in-law. That is why I came here personally to meet you before the ceremony. There are some things I want to say to you" she said.

I was scarred and had no idea, what to do or to say.

"As much as I am pleased that you are here to marty my son, I won't forget, where you come from'' she said with a voice I didn't like at all. Her eyes all of the sudden not so welcoming.

''And most importantly whose daughter you are''

''This war has coasted me, my family and my people all lot''

''And you know who is the responsible for that?'' she questioned while coming near me. I was suprised,how the atmosphere so quickly had changed. I didn't want to go step back like a coward.

''Since you don't want to answer I can do that for you, my dear'' her eyes were far from welcoming, they were scary. "Your father''

''He is the reason of our problem from a long time. Thank god we got rid of that head ache. I just hated to see my husband and sons going to fight.''

''But know everything is over. Everything is as it should have been since the beginning. But with something no one expected, my dear. You.''

''You are going to be part of our family. Do I like it or not you are going to be my daughter, the mother of my grand-children and the future Queen of Alaska''

''There are rules in this kingdom Isabella that everyone has to follow. Much more, when this person was ainst us yesterday.''

''There are many things you are going to learn here, but there is something you need from the beginning and that is loyalty.''

''I don't know what this words mean to you, but to me they mean a lot. As you can understand from this situation I can't give you my trust so easily.''

''You will have to show me that you are deigned of my trust. I will be watching all the time. I will be seeing every move of yours. Don't make any mistakes Isabella. We don't forgive them and less forget. As I was saying we have a good memory and that means that we won't forget who you are."I was speechless. I couldn't say any words at all even though I tried to protect myself. I wanted to say to her that I didn't plan to do anything against the rules, but my words didn't held any weight right now.

''Isabella you are going to be the wife of my son and that means a lot to me. His happiness means the world to me. As you may imagine you are not the woman I wanted for my son, but nothing happens without a reason. For this I am going to give you a chance to prove yourself to me. To prove me that you can fulfill your duty that you can be tomorrow a good Queen.''

''I just wanted to see my daughter in law myself for the first time. I wanted to know the person my son is going to marry. I think that a conversation between women is always really important. Now that we know each other better and you know what I expect of you will be everything better.''

''Know I don't want to take so much time. We have a weeding ahead and brought you a present.''

A woman came while carrying a black box in her hands. The Queen opened the box and showed me the diadem resting there. She turned to me and said

''I hope you like it. I wore this when I married Carlisle. I found it very fitting for the situation, much more than the one you were carring in the carriage, or not?''

With this the three of them left me alone to get ready for the ceremony. But I couldn't stop thinking in her words.

_You have to win my trust_

_You have to win my trust_

_You have to win my trust_

_You have to win my trust"_

* * *

**_Hi! I hope you will like this chapter._**

**_So the update schedule will be: Wednesday und Sunday._**

**_so I will updat twice a week, since I have the old chapter and the new ones I wrote._**

**_The least, but not list important, please leave your thought to me. I would love to read, what you like and more importantly what you don't, so please don't hesitate to share your thoughts._**

**_-E_**


	3. Chapter 3

I was staying for the second time today in front of the mirror, but now my reflection was much more different.

I could see the difference on what I was wearing. The wedding dress was wonderful. I had never seen anything like this dress. It was all white with beige flowers on it. In the end and at the front part there were many pearls. The back of the dress was a combination of lace and pearls also. It fitted me perfectly like they knew my size, but that was not possible. The veil in my head was precious. It was pure lace with pearls all around at the ends. And on top of my head was Queen Esme's present. The diadem was very pretty, but if I had a choice I wouldn't have used it. I hated the way they threw away mine, like it was a worthless object.

I knew that in a few moments someone was coming to pick me so I could attend the ceremony. I was so scared and unsure.

I still hadn't met Edward. I had no idea, what kind a person he was. I thought he would have come to see me in oder to know me. I was going to be his wife, but I think he wasn't so much interested into knowing me right know. I don't know why it bothered me so much. We would have so much time together to get to know each other. There wouldn't be any problem.

All the time I kept imagining how he looks like. Was he handsome? I knew that he was thirty year old, even though much older than me, he wasn't an old man. I was very lucky, because I could very well marry a man of fifty or sixty.

My thoughts were interrupted by the same woman that I met at the woods and that escorted me to my rooms. She came to me and pulled down my veil. She grabbed both of my arms and looked directly into my eyes and said

"Bring yourself together. They are waiting for you."

She still held her stoic posture, but in her eyes I could see that she could sense my fear of the uncertainty.

We walked together out of the room. I felt so bad. During these four hours in my room I had grown to like them a lot. They were so beautiful and I could imagine myself living here.

The ceremony was going to be held at the biggest church in Alaska.

I entered into a carriage with the woman in front of me. She seemed to relax me a little. I heated her in the woods, but it was her job to make sure I was stripped from everything that came from Forks. She seemed to sense my discomfort, but didn't say anything. She kept her head high. She was the perfect Lady in waiting one could request for.

All too soon the carriage stopped and I had to get out. She got out before me and helped me out. I stayed myself on the ground and she check me if my dress and everything was in order. She accompanied me to the door, where there was a man with blond hair. By the crown in this head he had to be King Carlisle, Edward's father. He was going to present me to Edward since my father couldn't attend the ceremony. It was strange that this man I had hated all my life was taking my father's place in the most important day of my life. But then it wasn't so strange, because when I imagined myself married never had it crossed to my mind that I would be Edward Cullen wife. But that is life and I can't fight against my destiny.

''Isabella I am King Carlisle of Alaska. Welcome to Alaska! I would be pleased to accompany you to the altar'' he said with a very authoritive posture. But that was not surprising since he was a king and it was his duty to show his authority. I would be hypocrite if I would be bothered by his behaviour, because it was the same way my father behaved. When you are a king you don't have a chance to be other than the protocol requires.

I gave him my arm and we headed together toward the altar. The music started and all the guests got-up and turned to see the bride.

The church was so big so I couldn't see Edward and how he looked like. I could just see a blurry form of him. He seemed to be very tall, but aside that I couldn't see anything.

I was so scarred. I felt as my legs would give up form a moment to the other. I wanted to grip more tightly King Carlisle's arm, but I didn't want to show weakness.

I needed so bad my father right now. I felt the tears forming in my eyes. I hated that my father couldn't be part of the most important day of my life. I hate that he was still treated as the enemy from the ones,that now were my family. I had to compose myself. I was in the middle of my wedding ceremony and couldn't be like that. This marriage was a bleasing. I knew that his marriage would help the people of Forks. It was great that King Carlisle accepted the marriage between his son and me. He had won the war so technically everything was his. He didn't need me. I was just an assurance that my father wouldn't try anything. That the people of Forks wouldn't rebel against him, because they had me.

Our walk was in the middle when I could see Edwards's features. He had brown hair with some red colour in it. His lips were very thin and he had a strait nose. He looked very pale. The most streaking feature were his eyes. They were deep green and wonderful. I had never seen a man more beautiful.

I remembered my worries that he may not be beautiful because he was much older than me. This man was mesmerizing. He took my breath away. I was so happy with the way he looked. I just hoped he would be with me pleased also.

King Carlisle presented me to Edward. As soon as my hand touched his felt and electricity passing through my body. Did he felt the same? If yes he didn't show anything.

He took my hand and tourned us both in front of the priest. I couldn't focus on anything right now. I was hyperventilating. I felt very dizzy also but I had to grip myself and collect my strength.

It passed a lot of time and the priest kept talking but I couldn't focus on anything at all.

But then I hear clearly the priest saying;

''Do you Prince Edward Cullen, Heir of the Cullen Kingdom take Princess Isabella Swan of Forks as your wife, to love, to respect till death parts you?''

''Yes I do'' answered Edward without thinking it. The answer came so soon and powerful.

Than the priest directed himself toward me and asked. "Do you Princess Isabella of Forks take Prince Edward Cullen, Heir of Cullen kingdom as you husband to love and to respect till death part you?''

'' Yes, I do''

''With the power given by the God I declare you husband and wife."

After that the entire guests got-up and started to clap. Edward and I turned to walk through the altar but this time as husband and wife.

We got out and went to our carriage. Edward helped me inside and then entered himself. We were seated in front of each other. I was keeping my head down since I didn't have the courage to see Edward in the eyes.

Many minutes passed in the same way. He did 't seem interested to talk with me. He seemed very far away in his thoughts. I raised my had and tried to speak to him, but my words were stuck on my throat, when I saw that he was seeing the curtains on the small window.

I hadn't even raised my veil. I thought he would request me here to remove it in order to see me better, but he didn't look very interested.

I was seeing my hand in my lap and focusing on the sound the carriage was making, because this silence was driving me crazy. He didn't move for a second till the carriage came to stop and he got-out. As a true gentleman he helped me out of the carriage and gave me his arm as we walked toward the big hall in the Cullen castle, where my weeding celebration was being held.

Everything was very pretty organised. The tables the food on them. The place to dance was big and there were flowers everywhere. It was wonderful but I didn't feel anything. Edward didn't seem to pay attention into anything.

During the celebration I met many new people. They all wished us a happy life and many kids. Every one of them said the same words.

Hopefully will you give us an heir very soon!

Hopefully will you give us an heir very soon!

Hopefully will you give us an heir very soon!

The food was delicious, but I didn't eat much, because my stomach was all around.

At the end of the day I was so tired. I had met so many new people. I had been mastering my best smile and being super polite.

My feet were killing me but more the anticipation of this night. I tried not to think so much about it but I could.

At the end Edward and I danced a Vals together. He was a very good dancer. The way his body was holding mine. The way he was seeing me directly in the eyes. His eyes were not cold but warm were they not. He was very skilful dancer, because I felt like I was flying. I don't know maybe were my nerves but I didn't get anything today.

I didn't know what to think of Edward. We hadn't said anything to each other, but during this dance I felt so good and secure. I could imagine myself with him.

Finally the celebration ended to lead to my first night with Edward...

* * *

**Hi guys! **

**I hope you like this chapter.**

**Please tell me you opinion about it.**

**-E**


	4. Chapter 4

I was waiting for my husband to come in my rooms. I had already been changed by my personal-maids into the most expensive night-gown I had ever worn in my life. It was pristine white. The front was all oval opened and showed my entire chest till the top of my breasts. The night-gown went till the end of my legs all freely in my body. The silk felt so good against my body, but at the same time very cold, when I thought that this piece of clothe was not going to stay long in my body.

The maids were long gone and I seated in the small sofa in front of my bed. I was trying to calm myself. It was my first time, but there was no reason to get scared. Woman did that all the time. It was something to be done, the sooner the better. I knew that it was okay, what would happened between Edward and me tonight, but that didn't gave me any peace.

My mind was running at full speed. I tried every method to calm myself, but it seemed useless. Suddenly I felt my hands trembling. I couldn't believe it. I was going into a panic attack now that my husband was coming. That was not an option for me. I should do the best impression on him. And fainting was not one of them.

I got up and check myself for the fourth time in the mirror. I looked beautiful. I was conscious that I was a beautiful girl. I had brushed my hair vigorously and used my favourite perfume. Nothing could go wrong tonight.

I went back to the small sofa and rested my back on one arm of the sofa. I was lost in my thoughts, when I saw the door open.

I was met with the figure of Edward in his sleeping clothes also. He looked so beautiful. He had a white shirt that was almost all opened on the chest and white pats. His hair was a bit messy but very manly and his eyes were mesmerizing. They were a deep green, much more than I remembered. I loved the way my husband looked, but I didn't know what he thought of me.

He came toward me and I stood-up from the sofa. We were staying face to face. He seemed to study me face for a long of time and then moved his eyes from mine, like he remembered something bad. Like he was trying to shake a bad memory from his head.

I stayed there on feet not knowing what to do. He turned his head to me and made me sign to go to the bed.

I didn't understand why he wasn't talking to me. I thought we would talk together, but he looked so distant.

I walked slowly to the bad. The curtains were hold with some lace by the woods around my bed. I seated at the edge of the bed. I looked at my hands that were resting on my lap. What was wrong with me? I couldn't do that all the time I was around my husband. I had to do something, but I didn't want him to think that I was a spoiled princess.

I waited till he came in front of me. He was there, staying on his feet in front of me while I was seated on the bed.

''Lie back on the bed!'' were the words that came out of his mouth. I had heard him talking before, but it was never directed to me. We were together and he was talking with other people, but he never asked me something or spoke to me directly.

I didn't have any other choice but make what he said. I lied on my back in the middle of the bed. My heart was beating so hard that I thought it would get out of my chest.

He came near of me and seated on the bed. He was staying on my side. He raised his hand and passed it through my hair. He removed the strands of hair that had fallen on my face. He got nearer of me till he was on top of me. All this time he was seeing me on the eyes, without breaking eye contact.

I saw his head moving till it came to my throat. His lips seemed to move up and down my throat. He was spreading light kisses all over my jaw, throat and chest. His hands were moving up and down my sides.

The kisses that in the beginning were so light now had become open mouth kisses. There were no part of my chest that hadn't been kissed be him. I wanted to move my hand to touch him, but I didn't know what he would think of that. So I just stayed there waiting for his every move.

I felt his fingers on the top of my night gown. He was pushing it down in order to expose my entire chest to him. I got panic, what would he think of me? Of course I had breasts but they were not so big, but by any means they were not small even. I was just sixteen and he was thirty. He was used with women, whose body was much more developed than mine.

I didn't have to worry, because as soon as my breasts were open to his sight he started kissing them. After a while he took one in his mouth. It seemed that I couldn't keep quiet. The feeling was wonderful. His hand came to cupp the other. I was going crazy. Between his sucking my nipple and the massage of the other breast I was totally lost.

He switched to the other breast. I had a desire to pass my fingers through his hair and to press his head in my chest tightly, but my reason was against it. I let my hands fall to my sides on the bed.

All of the sudden he raised his head and looked me in the eyes. His eyes were not green any more. They were a deep jade. He looked like he was hungry and thirsty and I knew very well for what.

He helped me out of my dress and threw it on the floor. I was totally naked to his eyes. No one had seen me like that. I felt self-conscious. What was he thinking? It was a constant question in my head.

He was staying between my legs fully dressed. He was seeing me with a hunger that gave me hope. He did like what he saw. I felt so alleviated. I knew very well that he had had many women before me even though he was my first. I knew he was experienced and that I would have to live up to this woman he has been with before. But that was not possible. How could I? I had no idea, how to be a seductress?

I felt Edward's had passing my legs. His hands were moving from my knees to the top of my thighs. He repeated this many times. His eyes were fixed to my body. I tried to make eye-contact with him, but he was busy feeling every inch of my body.

His fingers and palm felt so good against my skin, even though his hands weren't smooth. That was normal for a man, and more for a man who fought in the war. Any way I liked his hands on my body.

After a moment his hands were moving more and more on the inside of my thighs. He was caressing them. I couldn't keep myself still, because the feeling was wonderful.

All too sudden he put his unmoving hand in my lady-parts. My heat froze. I didn't know what his other move would be. For a long time his hand lingered there.

I think he was trying to give me time to get used with him touching my most intimate parts. All this time his eyes were closed. He looked very peaceful. It wasn't like he was thinking and closing his eyes to concentrate, but he was closing his eyes to be able to feel better.

His hand started to move up and down. His fingers stared to make circular motions on the top of my lady parts. It felt so good. I felt my legs trying to come together in order to seek friction, but Edward grabbed my thighs and didn't let them come together.

At this time our eyes met and I couldn't understand the expression on his face.

Then I felt his hand on my lady-parts moving, but this time inside. His pointing finger was making circular motions there. The feeling was wonderful. There was something forming on the lower region of my belly, but I didn't know what that was.

This feeling multiplied ten times when I felt his finger penetrating me. Immediately I got rigid. Never had been anything there inside of me. It was just one finger moving in and out with a steady peace, not to fast but not so slowly. The feeling was wonderful, after I got used to it and the initial embracement.

As soon as it was getting really good I feel his finger leaving my body. I open my eyes and raise my head to see what is happening.

Edward was removing his sleeping-pants. I saw as he throwed them on the floor. I wanted to see him naked but he didn't remove his shirt only pants. I was so curious, how did a man look naked. I had never seen one before. But I was ashamed to look at him. It was quit stupid, because he was my husband and that was going to be in my body and I didn't have the courage to see it.

So I opened my eyes and saw Edward touching his manly-part. He was touching it up and down and pumping his hand. The motion was from the top to the end and again the same. That had to be quit big, because all his hand was wrapped around it. He seemed so concentrated on what he was doing, that didn't see my curious eyes. I was better, because I would feel mortified.

After a moment he stopped his movement and raised his head. Our eyes meat each other. He was looking at my so intently. I was totally mesmerized with him. He looked so beautiful right now.

I saw his hand came to my direction and grab my arm. He was trying to make me lie on the bed. I did what he wanted. I laid my head on the pillows and closed my eyes preparing myself for what was going to come. I was grabbing the sheets on the bed so strongly with my fingers and felt my body go rigid when his manly- part came in contact with my body. He moved it from the top till the end of my opening. I couldn't fell anything, because I was so nervous.

I tried to calm myself. My mother had told me it would be better if I was relaxed, but there was no way on the world I could relax myself right now.

All too soon he grabbed himself tightly and pushed into me. The pressure was big. He felt so big and I was so stretched. I couldn't believe that he would fit there. But it he fitted in other woman, why wouldn't he fit in my. I tried to be logical and to push away these stupid fears.

The more he pushed onto me; the difficult become to acclimate him into me. Then I felt a pinching pain. It felt so bad. It was like I couldn't breathe at all. The pain only got bigger and Edward movement weren't helping it. I closed my eyes tightly and stared to breathe deeply, but nothing could alleviate the pain I felt.

Edward movement were getting faster and faster. It hurt so badly and I wanted to stop him, but that wasn't an option. His lips came on my throat and were kissing my all the time. As his movement got faster his lips on my throat got more forceful and I could feel his teethes also, but that didn't make any sense.

His breath had changed so much. His breaths were heavy and I could hear them together with the sound of him going in and out of me.

I just closed my eyes and let my tears fall freely. I couldn't believe that this was expected from me all the nights. I couldn't feel anything because I was dull. I don't think I would be able to walk tomorrow with this pain.

His movement had gone sloppy and he was sweating so badly. He thrusts strongly into me while his and came to my back and grabbed my waist. That made me more open to him and he seems to like it. After two or three thrusts like that his back arched and I felt something warm on my lower back. He was saying something, but I didn't understand. One because of his laboured breaths and two because he was talking between kissing and biting my neck and shoulder. He thrusts till everything was out of him and then went stll on top of me. His head between my neck and shoulder, his body on top of mine and he was still inside of me but he felt so different and thank God not so big.

He lied there for some time trying to regain his forced back and to normalise his breathing. I felt his hand moving and grabbing a strand of my hair and playing with it.

After like ten minutes he got up and moved away from my body on the bed. I was thankful, because he waited a lot and it was getting difficult to breathe.

I saw him getting up from the bed and putting on his pants. I didn't know what to say. He was just seeing me and not saying anything. He came down one more time and watched me carefully in the eyes. His hand come on more time and removes a strand of hair caught between my shoulder and neck. He removed it and kissed lightly that part. I thought my heart was getting out of place. I was afraid he could hear my heart and that would be embarrassing.

With that he turned me his back and got out of my rooms, leaving me alone in a big bed inside some rooms that were new to me. Sleeping was going to be difficult tonight..."

* * *

**Hi!**

**Here is the weeding night! Tell me what do you think about it? How did our Prince behave? **

**Don't forget to leave me your thoughts!**

**-E**


	5. Chapter 5

My morning was totally different. As I woke-up there were four maids waiting for me. The helped me out of my night-gown and prepared me a bath. They were very nice to me, even though it was their job to take care of me. It was just that they weren't seeing me with hate. They weren't remembering me that I came from Forks.

I had breakfast in my rooms. Everything was delicious. But the best was that I got to stay with my ladies- in waiting. One was Angela and she was so nice. She seemed so sincere. She was married with a cousin of Edward. She was really important in the court, but she was so simple.

The other was Jessica. She was super pretty and funny. I laughed so much during the breakfast that tears were coming out of my eyes.

They were totally crazy together, but I was so happy to have them. They told me every secret in the court. They kept making fun of the noble women that were so arrogant. By the end of the breakfast I was totally informed, who was cheating who and with whom. It was crazy since I didn't even know this people and my mind was going to explode with all this names.

As they were leaving my room a messenger came to inform me that "an official dinner was going to be tonight and that I was invited.

I became so nervous. I knew that this dinner was the chance to show me to all the nobles in Alaska.

They were going to study me like a rat in a lab.

I don't know how I spend the day, but I was that it was getting dark and I had to get ready for this dinner. I had to be perfect. I searched for a dress for hours with the help of my ladies- in waiting. Nothing could go wrong tonight. This was their first opportunity to meet me and I had to make a good impression.

As the time came I went to the great hall where the dinner was. Almost everyone was seated. I saw that there was a free seat near Edward. So there is where I had to seat. I took carefully this seat near him.

As soon as I seated King Carlisle presented me to the nobles.

''I am very pleased to present you my daughter in law Princess Isabella Cullen'' he said raising his glass of wine.

''I propose a toast for the new couple and let's hope their will give us soon an heir'' he said with a triumphant expression.

Everyone drank the toast and started to eat. The table was so big and there were many people. Everyone was talking with someone."There seemed to be many small conversations going on the table. I wanted to talk with someone, but everyone seemed busy. I directed myself to Edward and he was talking with a man. He didn't even pay attention to me.

I just stayed there seeing them as they spoke with each other. Was it so much to ask from them, to just speak to me. All the time I tried to make eye-contact with anyone in order to talk, but there was no hope.

After a while it got so laud. All the people taking with each other. After some time a woman seemed to accord that I was feeling alone. She said this to the man staying on her arm."The man started to see me, but didn't say anything.

''She seems so alone'' she said.

''This marriage was not a good idea'' he answered in a hushed voice.

''Poor girl, Edward isn't paying attention at her at all'' said another woman that was like 60 years old.

''We all know how Edward is, but I thought he would be more thoughtful toward his own wife'' she said all indignated.

''Please, she is Charlie's daughter. It isn't easy for Edward to accept that.'' Another woman answered to her.

''That just doesn't make any sense. She is his wife right know. He can't do anything about it. And he can't treat her like that'' I was so thankful to this woman. She really looked concerned about the way I was being treated.

''I don't know how King Charlie accepted this marriage. I mean she is his only daughter. '' an old man with dark hair said.

''That many has no honour at all. Selling his only daughter to save his own skin. That is unbelievable.'' His friend said all proud of himself.

''He has always been a foul man. That is the reason he lost the war.''

''I don't get how he could be a king."'I love it that we got to defeat them. I just couldn't deal with their pride. Now they are on our mercy'' other man started to talk with this two.

''I can't wait till Edward gets that foul's throne.''

''We all know that, that is the reason he married her. She doesn't have any siblings.''

I heard as they referred to my father as foul all the time.

That old foul

He was so foul

He took the most foolish decisions.

I felt the tears forming in my eyes. They were insulting my father in my face. They didn't even care that I was hearing them.

Didn't it matter that he was my father. How could they be so cruel?

After hearing the same thing being repeated I couldn't stay on the table anymore. I got up immediately in order to leave to my rooms

As I turned my back I hear Kings Carlisle voice.

''Isabella the dinner is not over'' he said without looking me at all.

''Please seat down on your place'' his time his voice was not so controlated.

I was trembling. I felt cold all over my body. I wanted to scream at "them. I wanted to grab this table and threw everything in their face.

I wanted to scream out-laud that I was here, that I was hearing everything they were saying.

They couldn't behave as if I wasn't there. They couldn't ignore me like that.

Was I supposed to hear them insulting my father without saying anything? Was I supposed to be ashamed of my origin?

What were they expecting?

I didn't understand anything.

That fool man as many said was my father. The man I loved most on the world. He had taught me everything. He was my king, my ruler "and my father. I loved him unconditionally. Isn't that the job of a child to love his parents? Why was I being punished because of that?

I saw everyone in their face. As I was staying on my feet I saw everyone as they were so quiet. They seemed all surprised by my behaviour and the fact that I hadn't seated down, like the king had ordered.

It hurt so much to steep on my pride and seat with this entire people that thought the worst of me and my father. But there was no other solution, than doing what was said and keeping my mouth shut. I didn't know for how long I could keep my mouth shut till I exploded "and said everything that was inside my soul.

I seated in my seat near Edward very slowly. Edward didn't move at all during my confrontation with King Carlisle. While I seated there I had no appetite to eat anything, but no one else was eating either. Everyone was playing with the food on their plate, without raising their heads. It was so quite so one could hear only the sound of the knives and forks with the plates.

Then I felt a hand in my lap. It was Edward and he was gripping my hand tightly into his. He tugged it till I moved my face toward his.

His face was livid. I could see his eyes were so green and his face totally pale as he was forcing himself not to scram in the middle of the room.

He looked me directly in the eyes making me feel so small and worthless. He was looking me like he couldn't believe what I had done. His distaste for my actions was burning into his features. I could see that form the way his lips were tightly together and his penetrating gaze.

All too soon he let my hand go.

I was so scarred, because I didn't know what that meant. What was he going to do? Was he really so angry just because I was going to leave the table where my father was insulted? "I just stayed there in the table by him without moving at all. I think I heard his voice talking with other people, but I didn't raise my head at all. I didn't want to meet his gaze again.

It seemed as the time moved very slowly but thanks God this dinner came to the end and everyone could go to their places.

I left the table slowly and headed toward my rooms. I didn't even stay to hear the nobles talk with each other, like it was costume after a dinner like this.

I walked fast into my rooms and shut the door closed. I went to my bed and laid there hugging my pillows. I tried so hard not to cry but "in the end my tears had their own mind. After a time I was crying out-laud. I was afraid what was Edward going to say? Was he going to be very angry with me? And if yes, what was going to be the punishment?

I had no idea, who my husband was? I didn't know him at all. We never had a proper conversation and it seemed he wasn't going to open his mind to me any time soon.

I felt the door open and raised my head from the pillow. Edward was staying at the door like a statue, without moving at all. His eyes were scanning the room to find my lying in my bed.

I got-up slowly and went in front "of him. I knew very well, why was he here. There was a conversation coming, and I wasn't waiting forward to it.

''I don't know what you were thinking before, or if you were thinking at all, but what you did there will never repeated'' he said looking my in the eyes with a very controlled voice.

''I will not let a small and insignificant little girl humiliate me in front of my family and friends'' he went on saying, but his voice was not so calm anymore.

''Why did you do that?'' he asked me. I didn't know. Was he waiting for an answer? Wasn't it obvious why I wanted to leave the table? But "anyway I found my voice and answered him.

''They were insulting my father in my presence'' I said ashamed that my voice was only a whisper.

''Isabella you have to understand something. You are in Alaska right now'' he was almost screaming.

''Everyone here hates your father. You will listen people speaking bad about him all the time. What should I expect? My wife leaving the table all the time she doesn't feel good?'' he was screaming in my face and his face was millimetres from mine.

''Answer me? This is what you are going to do? Just run. You have to get used that everyone hates you "father and your family, starting from me''.

I wanted to die. My husband was telling me that he hated my father. I knew that he didn't think very high of him, but hating was too much. I felt the tears forming in my eyes.

''I don't only hate your father, but all your family and country. If it were for me I would have burned everything from that horrendous place, with all the people inside. ''

He came nearer me and said ''With absolutely everyone''

I didn't even try to stop my tears. It was not real, what I was hearing. He couldn't be saying that to me. He can't be thinking like that. My husband wanted to kill all my people. Than the realization hit me.

''With absolutely everyone''

''With absolutely everyone''

''With absolutely everyone''

He hated me also. I heard myself gasp and my hand flew to cover my mouth in surprised.

He was seeing me all the time as the truth of his words was affecting me.

''I never wanted to marry you. I don't even understand why I have to marry you. I don't know, why my father insisted that I married you. Is not like we need you? Forks is already down and we can do everything we want.'' he said all controlled like he was explaining a"complicated thing a small kid.

''I can't do anything. What is done is done. You are my wife and no one can change that, but this doesn't give you the right to do everything you want. Don't think for a minute that just because you are married to me you can behave like you want. You are my wife and you do what I say. If I say jump you, say how high.'' He went on talking as I hugged myself. I don't even think I was paying too much attention to him.

He seemed to accord that and grabs me by my arms ''Are you listening to me?''

At that moment I stared crying out-laud. It didn't matter that he "was there in front of me, that he was seeing the tears in my face.

''You don't really hate me? Or do you? You don't regret not killing my family and me? You can't hate me so much?'' my voice was creaking so much, while I was almost begging to him.

He just stared at me without saying anything.

''So I get it. I have to be the perfect woman. Never say anything. You do everything, like I don't even exist. Will I always be the outcast? Will you always see me as you enemy? Isn't there any hope for you to see me as you wife?'' Still he said nothing, just looked at me.

''Please say something, anything?"I think I will go crazy. I can't deal anymore with the silence'' I was trembling so bad right know, that if his hands weren't grapping my arms I would fall on the ground.

''Will I get to see my father in the future?'' I asked resigned. His face changed totally.

''Why are you speaking about that worthless person?'' he screamed releasing my arms all together.

''Because that worthless person as you call it is my father, Edward, my father.'' I was surprised since I was screaming as laud as him.

''Your father'' he repeated to himself.

''You know why I married you?'' I "didn't say anything. I didn't get his mood-changing. From angry he went onto being a curious person.

''You aren't even trying to think Isabella'' he said with a different voice, like he was laughing with a joke.

''I married you because I get to fuck the daughter of the man I hate most. Every night I get to fuck his most precious person. I can do with you whatever I want he said.''

Be this time I was so dull from the pain that seated on the floor and ignored his presence at all. I didn't want to see and talk to him.

I was very tired. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to forget everything he said. I wanted to wake-up and "see this all was just a nightmare.

_hi guys! Here is like 00:2_1.

This chapter is e dedicated to all my American readers. I was in Oktoberfest Hannover with a guy from California, who was in my hostel and i totally lost him in the train. He was drunk And I feel quite bad right now. I just don't know how he could get drunk with two litters of beer, one shot of jack Daniels and one of tequila. I am the girl, so I should be totally drunk.

Tell me what you think since I don't have a beta and I don't have anyone to critisize me. Please feel free to tell me what you think.

I am going to Oktoberfest München from 4 till 7 Oktober. If any of my German readers happens to be there just send me a Pm. I would love to meet you.

-E


	6. Chapter 6

The same routine as the day before. My maids were by my side as I woke-up. They were so wonderful with me. I didn't even have to say something, because they already knew, what I wanted. I tried many times to push them from doing these small things, because I could do them on my own. They answered me smiling that I was their pleasure to serve me. That I could count always on them. They were always smiling and joyous around me and had a unique way of making me happy also.

After I was prepared for the day they left my room. It was quite a good morning, after a night like last night. I tried not to think so much about everything that happened. That brought nothing good.

I went on the discovery of my rooms. They were so big and beautiful. Even though I had slept just two nights in them I was so in love. They were just perfect. I started just walking around every room till I got on the back side of my bed-room.

There on the wall was a door-like panted form. That was quite weird. There wasn't a room, or at least the woman didn't show that to me in the beginning.

I went there slowly and pushed the wall.

Yeh Isabella you have gone crazy my reason was you are finding doors on the walls. That is a good way of starting to get crazy and lose reason.

Even though my reason told me it was not normal I started to push the wall. Surprisingly the wall started to move.

I got so scared.

What was behind this door?

Was it like a secret place I shouldn't see?

Not that is crazy. These are my rooms. Everything here belongs me.

Oh yes but that room was never presented to me.

Maybe they forgot I said to myself. I was doing it so big. It was just a door.

I pushed more firmly till the door was totally opened.

I was not prepared for what I saw.

It was a very small room, and when I say small I mean it. But it was wonderful.

The walls were painted on a light green and everywhere were golden ornament on them. The ceiling was very high for such a small room. On the ceiling were so many paintings with the angles figures. It was mesmerizing. I starred them amazed by their beauty.

On this room was just a small table. The table was a light green also."That was not normal, since everything here was brown with gold on it. But this table was all shiny light green with beautiful white flowers.

Just by the table was a sofa. It was more like a very small bed than a sofa. The sofa was all light green and blue with golden ornaments also. At the back of the sofa was a high wooden platform. This platform was necessary, because there was the white curtain held. This curtain was totally transparent but very white and pretty.

There was a small window that strangely brought so much light on the room. This room was far from lighted. It was just so small and gave me the feeling of a place I "could get in and forget everything.

From the small window I could see the gardens. They were breath-taking with so many flowers of every king of colour.

I seated on the sofa and passed the palm of my hand through the surface of the material. It was so smooth. It was so perfect. I loved this room so much. Then I released the curtain and let it fall freely and cover the sofa. I just laid there with my head on the pillow. I was protected from the outside world. I don't know but I found myself laughing so much.

Was it possible that a room was making me so happy?

After some time I got out of the room and closed the door. I was so happy. It was like I had found a treasure. It was my secret. I knew it sounded so childish, but this place only mine made me so happy.

I had nothing to do, so I seated on my bed and started to read a book. After I while a messenger came and told me that Princesses Alice and Rosalie were going to come in my rooms.

That was good. I needed friends. I had to start to bond with this people. They were my family now. I got-up and straitened my dress and made myself presentable for the Princesses.

Both of them came in my room. They didn't look angry or anything negative, but they weren't so smiling like my lady- in waiting.

''We know that you don't have many clothes, since your previous clothes can't be used here'' said Alice.

''We called the most famous designer to help you crate you own wardrobe''

''It is very important that you look all the time perfect''

''You have an image to keep Isabella'' this time spoke Rosalie.

''The people will look-up at you and you have to be a perfect example. People like us can't tolerate ourselves mistakes. They are just inacceptable.'' I know very well, what "mistakes she was refereeing to.

How much was I going to suffer for my last night behaviour?

''Our family has high expectations of you. You have a role to fulfill , don't forget that.''

I don't know if her words were advices or warnings. I think they were both. I just had to be very careful. I could deal with that.

We seated in one of my sofas and waited as the designer brought many different dresses. He had every king of material with every colour.

Alice and Rosalie were helping me with everything. In fact they were being nice. I don't even know how many dresses I ordered, but I know that was a lot.

For two hours we did only that: ordering dresses and shoes.

Alice was dangerous around shoes. She bought almost everything. Rosalie was more controlled on what she wanted. She was so pretty, that even if she wore something bad she would look wonderful.

I was quite tried from trying so many things and talking all the time with the designer.

I swear he said hundred times:

You look fabulous!

Wonderful! Mesmerizing!

Of course he would say that. He wanted to sell as much as possible.

As he was taking all of his things and preparing to leave Queen Esme comes. She was all smiling.

''I though you would like to buy some new things. That is why I called him'' she said.

''I hope you took good care of my daughter in low?'' she said to the man.

''Of course, Your Highness. All her desires are orders for me.'' He said while bowed.

''Is that true Isabella?''

''Yes, Your Majesty. He was very helpful.'' I answered.

''I expect Isabella's clothes to be perfect. You can leave right know'' she said to the designer.

''I wanted to see you today'' she said to me.

''I am honoured by you presence Your Majesty'' I said quickly, without wanting to be rude.

''Can you leave me alone with Isabella?'' she said to Princess Alice and Rosalie.

They both left without a word. I didn't like this at all. This was too beautiful to be truth.

''Isabella do you remember our conversation? Yes, Your Majesty. I do''

''I told you that I will be seeing if you deserve my trust. I told you that your actions would determinate mine also''

''Was last-night, what you wanted to show me? Was that the way to win my trust Isabella? I think I need some explanations, because I don't understand your behaviour.'' She said all serious.

''No You Majesty. I didn't want to be disrespectful last-night. I would never do anything to damage your family, but my father was being insulted.'' I said to her, hoping she would understand my reasons.

''I know very well, what was being said on the table, what I don't know, or better understand is your behaviour'' she said.

''Would you care to enlighten me please?'' she said, all ironic.

What did this woman want from me? I was so confused. I didn't know what to answer.

''So let me understand. You wanted to show me, you were a strong woman, dinged of my trust. You wanted to prove me that you had character and determination.''

''That is what I don't understand my dear''

''Where were all this qualities last-night?''

''You show your strength by leaving a table? You prove you character by letting others see you weakness?''

All the time her voice was getting laud and laud.

''Answer me Isabella?''

''Are you going to run all your life?''

''Let me tell you something, as the Queen of Alaska you are going to meet many people you don't like, maybe even hate, but you never show. A Queen has a role to play. And you as a Princess have a duty to full feel''

''I am so disappointed on you'' she said. I felt as if my heart would get out of my chest.

''What I expected last-night was you showing them their place, but leaving that table is not that. You bowed in front of them and I can't tolerate that.''

''You had last-night the chance to show me your values and you passed it. Be careful Isabella I don't give many chances.''

''Please think about, what I said.''

''I wish you a good day Isabella''

With that she left my room leaving me totally confused.


	7. Chapter 7

It had been a month since my weeding. One month since I came in Alaska. One month since I became Isabella Cullen. One month since my life changed totally.

Many things had changed in this month. In opposite to the beginning, when I was always in my room, trying to avoid everyone, now I founded myself staying more and more outside my room.

Since the talk with Queen Esme I understood that I couldn't stay in my rooms and isolate myself from the outside world. I knew that she was right, that I was my duty to behave as a future Queen. Since that day I decided to be more opened. They didn't know me. They didn't know who Isabella is. They just hate the daughter of King Charlie. They just hate a person, they don't even know.

The best way to fight this stupid hate was to show them, who I am. What kind a person I am. They had to know the real Isabella: my mind, my heart and my soul.

I had to do everything to change their mind that this hate was stupid and it made no sense at all. It was my job to give them a chance to understand their mistake, but if their closed their eyes in front of the truth, I wouldn't try anymore. If they still continued with their prejudices was their problem. But I have to give a chance. And I have to give myself the chance, that a day they may love and accept me. That a day I can be happy here. A day, when I am going to feel home and not like a stranger.

There were many gathering of the nobles in the court. The Queen was constantly there talking with them. Queen Esme was always informed of everything that happened.

That was a good way to show myself. To show them, that I wasn't scared of them. My place was here and I wouldn't be closed in my rooms just to give them pleasure. They had to accept me and respect my role, there was no other way. I wouldn't accept any less anyway.

I had gotten to know many people. Some of them were nice and I liked them, some of them were a little distant with me. I know that with time everything would be okay. Time heals everything.

Today was organised a Tea Party in the garden. The Queen had invited me last night. I woke-up very early today and prepared myself. My shoes, my dress and my hair were absolutely perfect.

The fact that Angela and Jessica were with me made me feel better. I knew that I could always count on them.

We three got out of my rooms and headed toward the garden. It was a sunny day and the garden looked beautiful. There were white tends constructed and under them were big tables with the cups of tea and many flowers. It was amazing and I felt so good. The chatting with Angela and Jessica helped a lot.

The kept saying:

''Look at her hair! It's like a house.''

''Her dress it totally very opened in the front''. I have to give them that. A seventy years old woman showing her chest was not pleasant to see.

''Look at her she used all the jewelry she had home. ''

''Please let the woman alone you two" I said ,"'But Princess it is practically impossible to see her skin, because she is covered in jewelry Jessica complained.

I was going to laugh a lot with this two today.

I soon as a come they raised and bowed to me. I smiled at them and started to talk with each of them.

I was very important to show that I was worried about them. That I considered them important. They all wanted to play a big role in the court and the only way was by me liking them.

I had taken upon myself the responsibility to learn their names,"even though they were so many. I paid attention to everything they said to me, absolutely everything.

They gave me shiny smiles, when I spoke to them and said their name. They thought that they were very important to me and that they had made a good impression on me that is way I remembered their names.

I could let them be happy like that. In fact they were important to me. I needed their approval or better I wanted it. This was the only way of a sure position in this kingdom.

I remembered all their stories and questions like:

''How is doing your pregnant daughter?''

''Is your son feeling better after the injury? When you need help don't hesitate to say me.''

''How are the preparation for your son's weeding going?''

''When is your son coming back from his studies?''

''When is this beautiful baby boy coming?'' I said to a pregnant noble.

It was always the same reaction. They were so surprised, but totally happy that I remembered what they had said to me.

I had seen the Queen's reaction also. All the time she would still a glance and see what I was going. I had seen her many times smiling in my direction when she saw what I was doing. She appreciated what I was doing in order to win the acceptance of the court.

In this month I had done a big progress with my image in the court, but my relationship with my husband hadn't changed a little bit. There was no progress and no regress. It was always the same. He would not talk to me, if it wasn't totally necessary. He was totally cold toward me. The only interaction we had was no Monday and Friday night when he would visit my rooms. It was always the same, not talking at all. I had already got used to it. The best thing is that it doesn't hurt anymore. I had thought that I would hate when he would came but that was not the truth. I waited forward to his coming in my rooms.

Every time I had the hope that it would be different. I had the hope that he would say something. That he would stay with me. But it never happened. Every night my hopes would crash, but I didn't gave-up. I didn't want to. It was my only chance of happiness. He was my only chance of happiness.

I would be his wife my entire life, there was no other way. I didn't get the opportunity to choose my husband and Edward was not what I had dreamed for, but this doesn't mean, me giving- up from fighting to be happy.

That is way I tried every time he came to look at my best. I tried to show him that I wanted his presence in my life and in my bed also.

Tonight was Monday, so I was waiting for Edward to come. I became every time so nervous. Sometimes it was embarrassing that I couldn't even see him in the eyes. I wanted to fight this feeling, but I didn't have any idea how.

I felt the door open. Edward was there in his sleeping clothes like always. He looked so beautiful even in sleeping clothes. I don't know how long I stared at him, but he didn't seem to mind, since his eyes were focused on me also. I was expecting that, with what I was wearing. I had had a white night gown on. The front part was just a white lace. The cut was very deep so I just covered my nipples. They may have been covered but they were visible because the lace didn't do anything to hide them. They were totally visible from the lace. The night gown was tight to my body till my stomach and then the satin went freely till the bottom of my legs.

His eyes were focused on my chest. I stared to feel a little insecure and felt as I got all red in my chest and in my face also. This feeling of embarrassment was stupid. He was my husband and it was nothing wrong with him seeing me like this.

In fact it didn't feel wrong at all. It felt wonderful. I loved the fact that he couldn't keep his eyes off me. It was a unique feeling and I cherished it a lot

I got-up from the sofa I was seating and went in front of Edward. Our eyes met each other but I didn't lower my head. I kept staring at him with the same intensity he was watching me. I pushed my hand forward and touched his chest on the left side. I wanted to feel his heart. I wanted that heart in the future to beat only for me. I knew that right now it was not the case, but it would be.

I got nearer him till I put my head on his chest. I felt him tense. He was like a stone as I put my ear on his heart and felt his hear-beat. It was so pretty. I wanted to wrap my arms around his waist, but that may be too much for him. So I just laid my head there hearing his heart-beat.

Suddenly I felt his hand in the top of my head. I tough he would push me away but he didn't. He just caressed my head and moved his fingers throw my hairs.

It was such a peaceful moment and I felt so happy.

May be there was a chance for me to be happy.

May be I could shatter that wall around Edward and make him fall in love with me.

May be on day he would stop seeing me as an enemy and start seeing me as his wife.

I felt as he started to move. I didn't want to go out of his arms. So I just wrapped my right arm around him as we moved together toward the bed.

We were both standing by the bed. I felt as Edward loved his head and started to kiss my neck. The kisses were so light. He kissed every inch of my neck. He grabbed my hair with his hand and pushed then aside. Then he started to kiss my neck more firmly. I felt his breath on my neck and started to shiver.

While kissing, and now sucking my neck, his hand came-up to my stomach. His hand started moving under my breasts, just barely touching them. Then his palm was passing and caressing them. It felt wonderfully. I couldn't believe he could do that just be kissing my neck and touching my breasts. His fingers started to play with my nipples. He was moving the fingers all around the nipples and in the end pinching them. As he pinched my nipples I almost jumped. I felt so good but I wasn't prepared for that. I saw a smile forming in his face with my embarrassment of my action.

He seated- down on the bed, while I was staying in front of him standing. I was confused. What should I do? He grabbed my hand and brought my body nearer his as he patted his legs. He wanted me to seat on his legs. I got near him, but my night gown wouldn't let me seat on his legs, because it wasn't so lose on my body.

I felt Edward's hands as they pulled up my dress till the top of my leg so I could seat on him. I got all read on my face, because I was naked under my night-gown. I knew he could see everything.

I seated on his thighs facing him. He lowed his face on my chest and stated to kiss it with open-mouth kisses. His hand came on my breast and stared to grab them and massage them at the same time. He started to kiss the top of my breast. During all this time I hadn't touched him at all. I always wanted to touch him, but I didn't know what he would think. I brought my hands into his hair and caressed his head as he sucked on my breasts. The feeling was unbelievable.

As he was sucking my nipples through the lace, his hand started to move up and down on my thighs. It felt so good and I didn't want it to end. I grabbed his head and kept it nearer my chest. I didn't want him to leave. I wanted to keep him there so near to me and my heart.

After a while he helped me out of his lap. He got-up standing in front of me. My night gown was bunched up on my waist. I felt so embarrassed standing like this in front of him. I passed my hand though the dress to cover myself and then I heard his voice.

''As much as I like this dress, I like you better without it.''

With that he grabbed the end of the dress and pulled it out of me, letting me naked in his eyes. I noticed that he had still his clothes on.

I moved my hands to remove his shirt and he didn't protest. With that I pulled off his shirt and went for his sleeping pants. I tugged the top of them and kneel in front of him to remove them totally.

While kneeled I came to face his manly-part. It was so big. Every time I saw it, I was impressed. I couldn't believe that it could fit on my body.

I heard Edward laugh as I stared at him.

He grabbed my hands and helped me get-up and then laying on the bed. He came staying on top of me. He started kissing my breast like a mad man, while I was passing my hands in his shoulders. I was enjoying it so much. I loved his muscles and the power they showed. I loved every part of Edward's body and now I could explore more.

Edward grabbed my legs and opened them to make room for him. His hand was cupping now my womanhood. I gasped at the feeling of his hand there. It was so good. His finger started to mover through my folds and caressing me in a circular way. Then I felt his pointing finger pushing inside me. It felt so good and I couldn't keep still at all. I was making sounds it couldn't understand at all, but I wasn't worried about it.

I was feeling heavenly, when Edward stopped the motion of his finger and grabbed himself bringing it in contact with me. He was seeing me in the eyes all the time as he pushed inside of me. There was no pain at all as he entered me, only the wonderful feeling of him being inside of me. I was so stretched, but it felt so good. He started to move in and out very slowly and all the "of his hand there. It was so good. His finger started to mover through my folds and caressing me in a circular way. Then I felt his pointing finger pushing inside me. It felt so good and I couldn't keep still at all. I was making sounds it couldn't understand at all, but I wasn't worried about it.

I was feeling heavenly, when Edward stopped the motion of his finger and grabbed himself bringing it in contact with me. He was seeing me in the eyes all the time as he pushed inside of me. There was no pain at all as he entered me, only the wonderful feeling of him being inside of me. I was so stretched, but it felt so good. He started to move in and out very slowly and all the "time seeing me in the eyes. After some time our breaths were not so controlled. And I was feeling like I would explode. He brought his hands to my thighs and pushed them at his back. I was confused?

''Can you lock your legs around me Isabella?'' he said between laboured breaths.

I did immediately what he said and the feeling of him inside of me multiplied. It was wonderful and Edward was moving so fast inside me. He was sweating so much and his eyes were closed. There was a feeling inside me like I was going to explode. Edward started to move faster like that was even possible. He grabbed my back, each hand squeezing each chick as he thrusted faster and faster. I stared to tremble and crying out loud. I didn't understand myself but I couldn't control it. My body had gone still and my legs felt like jelly, but Edward was still moving inside of me till I felt him twitch and spill everything he had. He didn't stop his movements his he collapsed on top of me.

I just passed my fingers through his hairs as he composed himself. He stayed with the head in the crock of my neck licking it and sucking it. It felt so good and relaxing. He slipped out of me and lay on the bed beside me. We were lying facing each other. I could see his relaxed face lying on my pillows. His hand came forward and grabbed me by "my waits and brought our bodies together. There was no space between us. All the time we were seeing each other on the eyes. His hand was moving on my back and lulling my almost to sleep.

It had passed more than one hour, so I though he was going to stay here tonight. The other nights he had left within ten minutes. As soon as the smile formed in my face with this thought Edward moves away and tries to get-up from the bed.

I just grab his hand, pledging with my eyes not to leave me, because I couldn't find the voice to speak right now. He let my hand go and got-up from the bed. As soon as he had his clothes on he got out of my room, crushing my hopes one more time.

* * *

**Hi! I hope you will like this chapter.**

**I want to ask something to you guys. As you may have noticed, this story contains many grammatical mistakes. I try to do my best, but English is not my mother tongue and foreign languages are not my strong point. I would love it if one of my readers would voluntair to be my beta for this story. It would mean a lot to me. **

**-E**


	8. Chapter 8

I woke-up with a bad head-ache. In fact it was normal with how much had I cried last night and how few hours I had slept. As much as I wanted to shut my mind off I couldn't.

Last-night he had given me a hope, that we could be happy, and suddenly he took it from me.

I thought he was giving us a chance to be happy with each-other. But unfortunately that wasn't the case. He was just enjoying my body, like he did every time.

I don't know why, but this time it felt different, he felt different. Everything was different: the way he saw me, the way he touched me and the way he took pleasure with my body. It wasn't like before, all cold and rushed. He took his time caressing my body and all the time he was seeing me in the eyes. Before he avoided eye-contact with me, but last-night he was searching it the entire time.

What gave the biggest hope was the fact he didn't leave immediately from my rooms, as soon as he had reached his pleasure. Not only didn't he leave, but he held me in his arms looking in my eyes as he caressed my body. At that moment I felt my heart was going to out of my chest, because I was so happy. But he didn't have mercy as he took this happiness from me, with his refusal. He saw that I was pleading him not to leave, not to let me alone, not at last that night.

I couldn't stop thinking about last-night, even though I tried a lot.

Today I wasn't feeling good at all. I didn't go to meet the nobles like every other day. I dismissed the company of Angela and Jessica because their enthusiasm made me sadder. I couldn't stay around any one right now, and least around two woman, who were happily married.

I seated on one of the sofas reading a book. It was a good way of distraction. I had always loved books. They only could take me to on other world and make me forget of the reality. Made me forget of my situation; make me forget, that I won't get the happy ending like the couples in the books I read.

As was lost in my fictional world the door opens and a maid informs me that I have a visit. I was quite surprised, because I didn't have any plans for today and I had already spoken with Angel and Jessica. I got-up, fixed my dress and seated on my sofa to wait the visitor.

I couldn't believe my eye, who was at the door. As soon as I saw him I almost run toward him. I was so happy to see him here.

''Jacob, what are you doing here?'' I said while hugging him.

''Princess, I am your chancelor from the kingdom of Forks. There was a deal between the kings to allow someone from Forks to have contact with you. As you know the diplomacy was always my strong point.''

''I can't believe that you are here. I am so happy Duke Jacob!'' I said.

''The pleasure is all mine my Princess!''

We seated on the sofa together. It felt so good, because he remembered me home.

''Please tell me, how are my parents?'' I asked him all too soon. I missed so much my parents.

''They are good, Princess. They are handling your being away good. But I can see that they miss you a lot.'' He said and his voice was a bit sad in the ending.

''More important is how are you? How is being everyone with you? Are they welcoming you good in the family?'' he went on with his question.

''Everything is good. They are being very nice to me'' I said to him. Why would I tell him the truth? Just to worry my parents and make them sad. They didn't have the power to change anything. I didn't want them to feel bad for marring me with Edward.

I could see that Jacob was not convinced by my answer.

''Princess, you know you can count always on me. When you need a friend to tell something, I am always here for you. Even when you want to tell me something your parents shouldn't be informed about.''

I knew that I could count on Jacob, but I didn't want to tell him about my situation with Edward.

''Thank you Duke, but there is nothing more to say'' I said all coldly to him.

''I understand Princess. I will be going back to Forks in a week. Would you like to write a letter to your parents? I would be glad to send it.'' He said with an official voice, the before friendly one was totally forgotten.

''Thank you. I would love that. Please come before you leave for Forks. My letter should be ready by then.''

''I would be my pleasure, Princess'' he said while bowing.

With that he left my rooms, leaving me alone with a smile on my face. I could write my parents. I would have news from them.

Staying inside was not going to improve my situation, but all the opposite was making me more sad. I decided to go out and meet the noble. The talk would take my mind away and distract me from my constant thoughts on Edward.

As I entered the hall I saw that there were many nobles there. They were talking with each other and drinking tea. What attracted my attention was that there was a crowd of women. I got curious and went there to see what was happening.

Seated was a beautiful woman with blond hair. Her hair were shiny and very beautifully styled in top of her head. She was very pale and had big beautiful blue eyes. What surprised me more was, what she was wearing. It was a red dress with black lace. The front of the dress was totally opened. It felt inappropriate and was certainly more opened that my night-gown. This woman held an air of authority.

It was very surprising, because the woman kept asking her. What was so interesting? I didn't understand their curiosity.

I got near of them to see better. As soon as they saw me, the bowed showing me their respect. This woman did the same.

''Welcome to the court!'' I said to her. She couldn't speak to me if I didn't acknowledge her first.

She seemed a bit surprised, but said nothing.

''I saw that all the woman were around you. They all seemed very curious. I wanted to know who are you and what is happening here?'' I said with authority.

''Your Majesty, I am Lady Tanya. A cousin of Queen Esme. The women were around me because I can entertain the people very well, very. If fact I was telling them about my trip on Paris. They were curious about the life there.'' She said looking me directly in the eyes.

''You were in Paris. That is wonderful. I hope you had a wonderful experience Lady Tanya.''

With that I left her. But what bothered me was the look of the other woman. They seemed all uncomfortable when I was speaking with Lady Tanya. What was with this woman and why were the Noble women behaving this way? Right now I was very curious how this women was and what power she held in the court.

* * *

**Hi!**

**I know I am spoiling you guys with such early updates, but I want to update the old chapters as soon as possible, so you get to read the new ones!'**

**I have got a new banner from Astrid GreenEyes. Thank you very much. I am blessed to have such great readers. Thank you for sticking wit. me and for liking this story.**

**Tell me your opinion about the two people Bella met today.**

**I want to hear your theories about them. They are going to be very important in this story.**

**-E**


	9. Chapter 9

Today I was staying with Angela and Jessica in my rooms. We were having fun, forgetting that there were many things we had to do, forgetting our social status, and just being happy.

Jessica had come with a bottle of red wine. We had stated to drink it since ten o'clock. It was crazy drinking so early in the day, but I just needed a way to feel better. After three hours of drinking I felt I was getting really drunk. That was not good. I had never been drunk in my life. My mother had told me always that women shouldn't drink alcohol. It just a toast and then let it. Right know I was extremely happy and the alcohol was helping me feeling better. I would have never though that alcohol could be like that. Now I could understand why the people drank it all the time.

In the beginning was the taste a bit bad, but later I couldn't feel anything. I was just happy. I was laughing so much. The best thing is that, I totally forgot my situation here.

At the end we three had drank three bottles of red wine. I was totally destructed and couldn't even speak properly. I could only laugh without caring for anything.

The feeling was amazing. I felt so free just staying with the three.

I don't know how but we had fallen asleep on the sofas in my room. We had slept like dead. I woke-up, when a maid came to my room, to see if I needed anything.

I had a bad head-ache but it was bearable. I just felt a bit dizzy and I couldn't trust my legs. After I washed my face and drank lots of water, I started to feel better, much better.

I went out of my room and headed toward the gardens, because I wanted to breathe some fresh air. The gardens were mesmerizing in this time of the year. There were flowers everywhere and their colours were wonderful. I started feeling much better and relaxed here between this beautiful sight. As I was walking I saw that on the benches in the garden was seated a blond-haired woman. I could recognise her hair. She was Lady Tanya. The woman that had come one week before in the court.

We never had a proper conversation together, but I could feel her eyes on me all the time. It was like she was controlling and studying me. In the begging I thought it was normal. Everyone watched me and paid attention to what I was doing, but her eyes made me feel uncomfortable.

I kept walking though the gardens till she saw me. She got-up and bowed in front of me. She had a smile in her face, but her eyes never changed. They were so cold and unwelcoming. What made me more uncomfortable was her air of authority.

I didn't like her at all. She had never been impolite to me, but I couldn't understand her arrogance.

After seeing her I kept walking through the garden. I tried not to think and just enjoy the sun and the prettiness of this place.

At the end of the garden were Rosalie and Alice. As soon as I saw them I went into their direction.

I heard that they were talking about packing. I got curious.

''Why are you packing? Are you going somewhere?'' I asked them."'Yes. Today we are going to a haunting trip that is organised by Prince Edward. We are going to stay for four days.'' Alice said.

I was surprised. I had no idea about this trip.

''Have you prepared your things?'' Rosalie asked me.

''No. I didn't know anything about it.'' I said all embarrassed.

''You should start packing your things. I am sure Edward is going to come to your rooms and invite you to come with us. He has just forgotten with how many thing he has to do'' Alice told me all happy.

''Okay. That I have to go to give instructions to the maids about the packing. I wish you a good day. We will see each-other later'' with that I left.

I was almost running toward my rooms. I had so many things to do. I had to pick my best clothes. I called my maids and the came to help me. They pulled out all the dresses so I could choose the ones I wanted. I choose carefully the most beautiful.

In this trip I had the possibility to get near to Edward. We were out of the court. There we would be just husband and wife. Not Prince Edward and Princess Bella.

I couldn't stay in one place. I was so happy. This was the best. I think I was more drunk now from happiness that in the morning forms the wine. I couldn't stop laughing. I know it was silly but the thought of me and Edward alone made me happy.

I wanted to start dancing. My maids were totally surprised with my behaviour, but they seemed happy to see me so happy.

They helped me wash my hair and pick a beautiful red dress. It was very special and at the same time comfortable, since I would be riding a horse that seemed the best possibility.

I brushed my hairs very stylish and put make-up on. I picked an elegant necklace that was appropriate for this occasion.

After I finished everything I saw myself in the mirror. I was glowing. It was not just the clothes but the the happiness in my face was obvious.

I seated in one of the sofas waiting for Edward to come. I was so excited that I couldn't stay in one place. I just kept going around my room.

I had passed two hours and Edward had not come to my rooms. I was getting tired of waiting but there was nothing I could do.

I took a book and started to read. It was very helpful with my nerves. I was so nervous, because this trip was the best chance to connect with Edward.

I was lost in my book when I saw that it was getting quit dark and we should go to our destination.

I get up and go to the window.

I couldn't believe my eyes. All of them were on their horses. They were laughing like they were having the time of their life.

Why hadn't Edward come to take me?

I was getting nervous. I didn't understand his behaviour at all. I tried to keep my calm. There had to be an answer. Edward would come to me. I was sure about it. He had to come. He couldn't do this to me.

Then I saw Edward heading to his horse. Maybe he was telling a maid to call me.

I was stupid. How could I think Edward wouldn't invite me in his personal party?

With the velocity that this hope appeared it despaired when I saw Edward grabbing Lady Tanya by the waist and helping her mount his horse. They both seated on his horse laughing. Lady Tanya tuned her head back and kissed Edward on the lips. He smiled and griped the reins, while galloping with his horse away.

I was there in my room frozen. I couldn't move. I couldn't believe my eyes. I didn't want to believe that Edward would do this to me.

I stayed there till they were out of the sight, taking with them my hope of happiness.

* * *

**Hi!**

**well here is a new chapter. This is one of the most important ones, because shows the initial signs of sth that will change Bella's life the future. If one of you guesses "the signal" I will send him a sneak peek of chapter 19 and 20, where this "thing"culminates.**

**Good luck with the search and don't hesitate to tell me.**

**A tip: Please don't go for the obvious things!**

**-E**


	10. Chapter 10

I don't know how much I stayed there standing in front of the window. I kept starring at the way they left. I just starred.

I didn't cry I just stayed there watching this place, without thinking. I didn't want to think. Thinking was not good. Thinking wouldn't help me right now. No one would help me right now.

There was a hole in my heart that no one could heal. There was pain that I couldn't explain. It was like everything I fought for was lost. Everything I believed in was gone away, in the same way they went, without me. Like they didn't want me. Like their preference of my absence.

It hurt to think that my husband preferred more someone else. It hurt so much to say her name. It hurt accepting that she was the one he wanted, not me.

He may like my body, but that wasn't enough to tie him with me. This will never be enough.

It felt so bad that he ignored me like that. It hurt so bad…

Right now I would do anything for him, if just he wanted to mend our relationship.

I stayed there till it got dark and I couldn't see anything else. There were no tears shed. Suddenly I felt very cold.

I couldn't stop thinking, what were they dong right now.

Was he kissing her?

Would he sleep with her tonight?

Of course he will. Don't hang on stupid hopes Bella. She is his lover. She is the reason he can't stay with you. She is the reason he just wants your body and nothing more. She is the reason you will never be happy with him.

But was she really the reason of my problems? I didn't think so. She was not the source of my problems. It was my behaviour and my position here the source of every problem I had. It was this stupid hate that would not let Edward love me. She was no one. She is no one.

At this moment I felt my tears passing my cheeks. She was someone indeed. She was the one he loved. That gave her a lot of power. This is why she always had this air of authority. That's why the women in the court were whispering when I was talking to her.

They all knew who she was and what she meant to Edward. Probably he would have married her, if he hadn't been forced to marry me.

I was really tired of everything. I felt as I couldn't understand anything right now. I just felt dizzy and sad. I felt my legs walking on their accord. They weren't more commanded by me. They had their own mind. It was my heart that was directing them toward my secret room. In few second I was in front of the door. I pushed lightly at the door in the wall and the door opened.

My lovely room was the only place that could give the peace I needed so much. I loved this room so much. It was like here I was protected from everything and everyone.

I lied in my bed hugging my pillows.

I could feel as the tears sere crossing my cheeks and falling in the pillow. I don't know how much time passed till I felt someone's presence in my room.

I had forgotten the door opened. I hated that someone else would know my secret place.

As I turned to see who was, I got a big surprise.

Jacob was stay by my bed with a worried face.

''What is wrong Princess?" He asked with a solemn voice.

''Nothing I just miss my parents'' I answered quickly wanting to erase his doubts.

He didn't look convinced by my explanation but didn't comment."'So did you write the letter for you parent?'' he asked me. '' I am going tomorrow to Forks. You parents would be very happy to have a letter from you.''

''I am sorry I forgot. But I am going to write it right now so you can send it to them.''

''Everything you wish Princess.'' He said.

'' I heard there was a haunting trip today.'' He said.

Oh no. Please stop. God tell me he is not talking about it. Why does he have to open my wounds one more time?

''Why aren't you in this trip also?'' he asked me all surprised.

I didn't have the courage to answer. I was afraid that I was going to tart to cry. He would tell this to my parent and they would be worried about me.

''Princess you know that is not wise to decline the invitation of your husband to a trip like that''

Please stop. Please don't talk about it. My mind kept screaming, but my voice didn't come.

''This trip cold have been very helpful with your relationship with him''

I just put my hands in my ears and tried not hear him but it was impossible. I couldn't erase his voice from my mind.

''You have to show who you are and what is your status in this court''

STOP, STOP, my mind was creaming out-laud.

''You know that your husband can take this as a personal refusal and can feel bad''. He didn't have time to finish his sentence, when I started to scream.

"He would feel bad?!"

''You think he would feel bad''

''Answer me? Do you think he would feel bad because of me?" I was creaming so much that I couldn't recognise myself. I was trembling.

I saw his surprised face, but he didn't say anything."'Let me tell you something Duke Jacob'' I got nearer him as I spoke.

''He isn't interested in me at all!

''He doesn't care about me!''

''He would rather have another wife.''

''He hates me!''

''And the best he would prefer me dead''

I was screaming and crying at the same time.

''That is the reality. For him is the same if I am dead or alive.''

He came near and hugged me. While hugging him I told him the words that were ringing in my ears. For him is the same if I am dead or alive.

For him is the same if I am dead or alive.

For him is the same if I am dead or alive.

* * *

**Here is chapter 10.**

**so, how did Bella take the news that Edward has a misstres?**

**What do you think about Jacob?**

**Sadly no one found what I asked last chapter. Just one got very near to it.**

**-E**


	11. Chapter 11

I woke –up today like any other day. My maids were by my side and helped me bathe and into my clothes.

After that I ate breakfast alone not waiting to see anyone and that happened a lot lately.

Today was Monday and Edward was coming back from his haunting trip. I felt very uneasy. There was something in my stomach that didn't let me be in peace. I was so nervous.

What should I do?

What should I say?

Can I tolerate his presence any more in my life?

Can I see him and forget that he was with someone else?

Can I be with him knowing that before he was with someone else?

Would I be able to restrain my hate for this woman in public?

These questions were all the time in my mind. I couldn't turn my mind off ,even though I tried a lot.

I was reading a book with the hope that I would be distracted. While I was a bit lost a maid came in my room to inform me that Edward had come back.

I didn't know what to do. I tried to stay calm and not do anything. A cold head is the best thing. I had to think very well what I was going to do and say to Edward.

For the second time the door opens and I see Princess Alice coming in. I was surprised.

What was she doing here?

Wasn't it enough to make fun of me? Now she is here to tell me about her weekend with my husband and his lover.

''Hello Bella! How are you?'' She asked very timidly.

''Hello Alice!'' I answered very coldly.

"Look Bella I didn't know that Edward was going to do that. I was sure he was going to invite you. I swear! Rosalie and I weren't making fun of you."

I was just looking at her, without answering at all. She was pleading me with her eyes to forgive and believe her, but I just couldn't.

She comes nearer and takes my hand'' I would never do that to you Bella, never. Not to you and no to any women on this world."

I felt as the tears started to from in my eyes, but I didn't want to cry in front of her. I didn't want to look weak. I didn't want her mercy, even though she must have felt it all the weekend. Poor Bella that can't keep her own husband and is humiliated in front of everyone by her own husband. These thoughts were boiling in my head. These thoughts didn't let me accept anything she said, even though I knew that I wasn't her fault.

''I know that you are hurt from what Edward did to you, but I didn't have anything to with it. I promise you Bella. I never thought he would take Tanya in his first haunting trip after marriage.'' She explained.

''There is no problem Alice. I am not angry with you. It is true, that for a moment I thought you were making fun of me, but now I understand my mistake. Please know that I have nothing against you. It is true that I am sad, but that is not because of you, but because of my husband.''

She saw me directly in the eyes ad told me. "I am sorry but I can't help you with your problem''

''Don't worry Alice and thank you for coming personally to explain your position in this story. I appreciate I lot. Have a nice day!''

''I wish you a nice day also Bella!'' she said and left my rooms.

I seated on my sofa and started to think. I felt better knowing that she and Rosalie weren't making fun of me. They are my family now. I am so happy that they aren't some cold woman, who takes pleasure in other people's pain.

Nothing could change that fact that Edward is cheating me, but knowing that my sister-in laws were not being meant for nothing to me helped a lot.

Edward and Tanya. They together. They kissing. They talking about me and making fun of the stupid young girl left home alone and humiliated. They sleeping together and he staying with her till the morning. They waking-up together.

It hurt so much to think of them together. To think of her as the woman Edward loves and wants with him. To think of her as the woman who could bring Edward's smile. To think of her as the women he confesses his love in the throat of their passion. A passion that is almost non-existent between us.

What worried my more was the fact, why was I feeling so bad? Was it because of my pride? It was the fact that I was being humiliated in front of everyone by the most important person, my husband? The fact that I wasn't given my place as his wife, or there was something else that I didn't dare to accept? I didn't dare to think too much. I didn't dare to say out-laud. Something wonderful, but that would destroy me completely in this situation.

Why was I feeling this way? He has been only mean to me. He has never thought of my hopes and dreams. He never asked me, what was I feeing and thinking.

I was not in love with him. I was in love with the idea of my husband. I was in love with the prince I had dreamed about all life. My heart didn't accept the reasoning of my head. My heart didn't want to accept that I would never be in love. That my husband wasn't the prince charming and that he didn't love me, but all the opposite he hated me. It was my stupid heart that never gave-up, even when Edward broke my heart repeatedly without thinking of me. This heart pushed me through all this humiliations from him with the hope that he would understand that his behaviour didn't make any sense. That I wasn't the enemy. That I was his wife. That I didn't hate him. That the war wasn't my fault. That I wanted desperately I chance from him to be happy.

Bella you can't let your hear lead you. You are going to be a queen tomorrow. How many times did you mother tell you that you have to reason with your head and not with your heart? You have to grow-up. You can't let Edward do that to you. You can't put all of your hopes in him only to have your heart crashed time after time. What will happen the next time he will humiliate you? Will you close yourself in you room one more time? Will the next disappointment bigger than this one? Will my poor heart bear all the pain till it stops feeling?

I felt as me head took the lead. It was true I couldn't let Edward do with me what he wanted. If I did that I don't even want to think what will happen to me and my poor heart.

I was getting dark and my maid come to my room to change me and prepare my for sleeping. After changing I was staying in front of the mirror and just seeing my reflection.

What did she have more than me?

Why did he choose her and not me?

Was she prettier that me? No, I didn't believe that, but she was certainly older than me and that she was more experienced. Were there together since many years? Probably she knows him much better than I do. Common Bella I bet everyone knows him better that you do. You never had a proper conversation with him.

I found myself brushing my hair in front of the mirror. They were silky and the brush moved freely through them. It was a soothing movement that relaxed me a lot, because it took me mind away from my problems.

Suddenly I saw as the door opened. I was curious. Who would come in my room in this hour and without knocking on the door?

I saw Edward coming in my room with his eyes fixed in my body. What was he doing here? No, today was Monday and he comes to my rooms every Monday. In the state of my sadness I had totally forgotten that he would come to my room tonight. I thought he would spare me from seeing his face tonight. Just a night after he had been with his lover.

''Isabella, how are you?'' he asked me like nothing had happened. Was he kidding with me? How are you? He was asking me how I was. What kind of joke was this?

''Fine, thank you!''

''Fine.'' He repeated to himself under breath.

He came behind me and grabbed my brush in order to brush my hair himself. He was brushing them very carefully.

''Your hair are very pretty. They seem like silk.'' He said like nothing. At the same time I imagined him caressing Tanya's hair while he was kissing her. Immediately I got rigid. I didn't want his touch. Not after him being with her last night and touching her body. He seemed to sense that and put she brush down.

While we were staying together in front of the mirror, he pushed my hair all to my right side leaving my neck in my left side all in the display of his eyes. He lowered his head and started kissing my shoulder. I felt as his soft lips were kissing the skin of my neck. I couldn't do anything at all. I just hugged myself with my arms while he kissed my shoulder.

He comes neared to my body till I feel his chest to my back. His arms come and circle my waist while caressing my arms that were so tightly wrapped around each other.

His kisses started getting more and more urgent and his hands started to wander in my body. His hand moved up from my waist and come to my breasts. He just passed his open palmed on top of them while attacking my neck and shoulder repeatedly.

I couldn't move at all. I would have been so pleased before from his behaviour. I would have done everything for him to want me, but now the only thing I felt was nausea. Just last night he had been with another women, cheating and disrespecting me openly and now he comes in my room with the idea that I would welcome him in my room and my body.

Did he think that low of me? Did he think I was someone without personality and he could do everything he wanted and I would accept it all with a closed mouth and a smile in my face?

I felt as his hand grabbed my arms and started rotating me till I was facing him. The lust on his face was so evident. He looked like a predator ready to catch his prey. His face goes to my chest and starts kissing and sucking there. His hands starts pushing my dress form my shoulders. His movement were so urged I felt my dress tearing and his teeth in the top of my breast.

In my head was Tanya's face smiling I closed my eyes tightly with the hope to push her face away. In the room were only sound of Edward's laboured breaths and kiss open-mouth kisses in my breasts.

I felt like I couldn't breathe at all. Her naked body under Edward's appears in front of my eyes. They laughing and he kissing her breasts like he was kissing my right now.

I started trembling. I felt as the world started spinning around. Edward didn't stop his movement for a moment and he was obvious of my distress.

I started to hear her laugh ringing in my ears.

I could anymore. I felt as I was losing my mind.

STOP.

Stop

I feel as kiss lips freeze there in my breasts. Slowly he raised his head till he is seeing me directly in the eyes.

''Stop. What are you talking about Isabella?'' he asked.

''Stop with what you are doing. Stop humiliating me. Stop treating me like a dirty clothe. Stop thinking I am someone you can do everything you want'' I spoke with a courage I didn't know where I got it from.

''Isabella, I advise you consider you tone first and second clear your mind. There is only one person that can give me orders and that is the King. You are no one to say me to stop or to continue.''

''I am no one. Do you hear yourself what do you say? I am your wife Edward, your wife. You like it or not I am your wife and you can't treat me like that. You can't humiliate me in front of everyone like I don't matter at all.'' He didn't say anything, but I could see clearly that he was starting to get mad.

''What do you think I feel when you have a lover? What do you think I feel when you go with her in your haunting trip with her leaving me here alone? Do you care what I feel at all?'' I was screaming and crying at the same time.

He just kept starring me like I was crazy. In fact I was crazy because he was making me crazy with all the humiliation.

''I believe I told you to control you tone. Tanya is part of my life and no one is going to change that, no you not anyone else. As if I care for your feeling, I do care for you, but I come first. I don't want to hurt you intentionally but if it happens it's not the worst thing in the world. You are my wife. You do what I say. I believe that I told you that already. If I want to be with Tanya I will be with her and you have to accept it.''

''Do you understand? I command here. Don't think for a moment you can do this dramatics that you feel bad. I don't like them and you aren't going to win anything thing out of them. I promise you that.''

"Why are you being with her'' I asked with my voice as a laud as a whisper?''

He saw me directly in the eyes'' Because she is very important to me. She has always been and will always be.'' He answered with a lowed head."'I am going to leave you tonight'' he comes and grabs my arms and looks in my eyes' 'But you are my wife and you are going to do everything I want. That is accepting me in your bed.''

''Do you understand?'' He asked me shaking me by my arms.

''Yes'' I said as the tears were running through my cheeks.

With that he left my room leaving me alone with a totally broken heart.

* * *

**Hi!**

**I am quite happy! I was surprised by your answers and we have a winner. Someone found the "signal" :)**

**As always don't forget to share your angry thoughts about Edward or me!**

**-E**


	12. Chapter 12

After Edward left last night I thought a lot. It was very important that I understood what he wanted and what he felt, if he felt anything at all, beside hate for me.

There was something I was sure and that was that Tanya and he were together since a lot of time. He said that she was important to him. How long had they been together? Had she played a big role in his life? And more importantly does she play still a big role in his life?

What should I do? Should just accept her existence and conform with the fact that I am his wife and she only his lover. She would never be openly with him. My children would call him father. My children would be his heirs. All the glory and respect were mine. But was that enough for me?

Could I just be pleased with an image only? How could I live with the fact that my husband sleeps with someone else. That his love goes to someone else.

What of my love? Would I ever be in love? Could I also try to find my love in someone else? Would he accept that? I already knew the answer of that. And it was no. He would see that as a humiliation. Of course only the men have the right to have lovers. For them is normal. The society doesn't condemn them, but totally the opposite. The younger and prettier the lovers were more proud are the men.

I hated this world where the woman didn't have the same rights. Being borne a princess didn't save me because I had to obey my husband and accept anything he wanted. The way my marriage was arranged didn't help my situation more. It was crystal clear that I had to accept Edward's wishes in order to protect my country from him.

I had a meeting with the Queen. I wanted to talk with her. I wanted to know her opinion about this situation. If I wanted to change I needed someone to side with me and who better than the Queen, but I wasn't sure what would she say. What her son was doing, was pretty normal, but she is a woman and she would understand me perfectly. I would prepare my next move according to her behaviour. I couldn't against all of them alone, but with the Queens help everything would be easier.

I prepared myself meticulously and went to see her. We would be meeting in her personal rooms. That was great. I had never been there. That was a clear sign that she trusted me more. With steady steps I went in front of her door and waited for the guards to announce me. I bowed in front of her as she came and helped me rise."'Good morning Bella! How are you? I was so pleased to hear that you wanted to talk personally with me.'' she said with a smile in her face.

''Good morning Queen Esme! I am very well, thank you! The pleasure is all mine. Thank you very much for dedicating me your precious time.''

''Oh Bella, I am always there when you need me. You are my daughter- in-law and I am always there for you when you need me.'' she answered me.

''Thank you very much! You can't imagine how great is for me to hear this from you Your Majesty. It is crucial for me to have your guidance and your help to help me prepare for this new role in my life'' I said all honestly and humbly.

''Isabella, I think I know pretty well, why are you here now. I am informed of what happened this weekend. I never thought Edward would do this in his first trip after the marriage. I am very disappointed in him and I will let him know about that. I wanted to come to you this two days, but I thought you would like better to stay alone in this difficult days, because my presence would make you feel uncomfortable.'' She said to me with a saddened expression.

''Thank you very much for the consideration. It is true that I didn't feel very well this two days, but your presence is always welcomed, my Queen.''

''Isabella, I am a woman also. I know very well the difficult situation you are living. Why are you here? To complain about Edward's behaviour toward you? Are you here to ask my advice with your next steps? Tell me the truth Isabella? I would love to help you.''

''My relationship with Edward is totally not functional. He doesn't talk to me. He doesn't want to spend time with me. Aside from the nights when he comes to bed I don't have any contact with him at all. I tried to engage him to talk with me, but he doesn't want to. He is pushing me all the time. I don't know what to do.'' I could feel right now the tears forming in my eyes.

''My child. I am so sorry to hear that. I knew that it would be difficult for this marriage to function properly from the beginning, but Edward's behaviour is going too far. I promise you that I will talk with him about this.'' She said to me.

''There is something I wanted to ask you. You need to have lots of patience with Edward. He has a bad character and sometimes can behave very bad, but you have to know that he has a good heart. My Edward has suffered a lot and the war was particularly merciless to him. This war marked him more than anyone. That is why is difficult to him to accept you as his wife. But I am that with patience and love he will reason and will abandon his hate and hopefully will open his heart one more time, to become the lovely boy he was once.'' She was crying right now as she spoke. I looked as if Edward's behaviour affected her a lot.

''Please, don't cry! I feel that I came here to make you sad Your Majesty!'' I felt so bad. I didn't know what to say. What does one say when you make your own Queen cry. Should I try to help her or let her alone with her pain, that apparently is very big and the wounds are still opened.

''Oh no Isabella, it is not your fault. Don't feel bad about it. I can talk with Edward and I will, but he is a grown man and I don't know how much he will listen my words. Tanya is with Edward since many years. She has been his friend and lately as you many know much more. I can't prohibit him from seeing her, but I can ask him to give you more time. Hopefully you will use this time wisely and bond with him'' she said.

He will give me more time. I have to use just a time he is free from his lover in order to bond. Was this the life I wanted? I couldn't believe it. I still hadn't said anything when the Queen spoke again.

''Don't make that face Isabella. I know it may sound bad but this is the truth and the maximum I can do for you. Please don't forget that you are fighting for you husband and there is nothing bad about it. There is nothing to be ashamed about it and less with the situation your marriage was arranged. I know very well what is to fight against someone for the love of your own husband. I couldn't believe what she was saying. I tried to control the expression in my face but I couldn't. I was sure that the shock was written all over my face.

''Yes my dear. My marriage was not much better than yours in the beginning. Carlisle was in love with someone else. He had been with her since he was child. They had grown up together and shared many things. When I knew about her existence I cried for many days and didn't go out of my room. I felt betrayed and hurt. '' she spoke with closed eyes as she remembered her past.

'' I was very young and I didn't know my strength. I was self-conscious and didn't appreciate myself enough. It was normal that Carlisle was searching for someone else. When I didn't like myself, how could I wait him to like me? I spoke with him and told him that it hurt me a lot that he was with her. I told him that I wanted to do everything to help our marriage and that I was ready to forget what had happened till now.'"'You want to know what happened? In the beginning he kept seeing her, but I was stronger, smarter and prettier. I was his wife. He didn't have to hide to be with me. I appreciated every moment with him and cherished it. I showed her place in front of him, because I was his wife and she was just a lover. Her tactics would come to an end and it came. Carlisle got tired of her and stopped seeing her. In the same time I was pregnant. This bounded us so tightly.'' She was smiling as she spoke right now.

''This is my story. It doesn't have to be yours. You are your own person with your own personality. I believe that you will take the best decision in order to save your marriage with my son. There is something I want to say you. '' I was listening very carefully what was she saying. I needed her help and much more when she had passed the same situation as me.

''Don't forget who you are and who you are going to be. No one can make you fell weak if you don't give them permission. This was my mother's advice for me and it helped me a lot. I am sure it will help you also if you behave gracefully and pride is your first quality.''

The tears were running in my cheeks, not because I was sad but because she was being so good. It felt like my mother was here. I still couldn't believe that she shared that sad history about her life with me. Slowly she grabs my hand and takes them into her owns. She looked in directly into my eyes and said: '' Don't cry and don't say thank you. The only way you can thank me is when you put into practice what I say, my dear. Please don't forget my words!''

With these words I got-up and with a look of appreciation I left her room. Suddenly I felt good.

I was feeling more hopeful. If she did it why couldn't I do it? I was young, beautiful and very strong. I was motivated. One because I wanted to be happy and two because that was the only way to protect my country. I wanted to take a walk through the garden and reflect on what the Queen said me. I had to think carefully if I wanted my plan to succeed.

Today was a nice day and the weather was very good. The sun was shining and the garden looked wonderfully. A nice walk was a good idea.

I went in the garden at the back of the castle. It was smaller but quitter and prettier. Right now I wanted to stay alone and think very well what I was going to do. I just walked through the garden admiring the colours and smelling the idly perfume.

All this peace was disturbed when I saw Tanya sitting in one of the benches, enjoying the sun and looking very happy.

My blood started to boil in my veins. Why had to be she here right now? Why did I have to see her face all the time? My first reaction was to leave, but then I thought what I talked with the Queen. I had to change. I couldn't be any more the small scared girl that escaped everything.

I kept walking till I was passing Tanya's bench. I didn't want to talk to her. She was no one and she had to understand that.

I was surprised to hear her talk to me.

''Princess Isabella, good morning!'' she said to me with a smile in her face.

I couldn't believe she had the audacity to talk to me. She was to a lower rang, so she can't talk to me if I don't acknowledge her, but it seems she doesn't care.

''Lady Tanya, I thought you had better manners. But why would that be? You have no dignity. Why would you have manners.'' I said to her. Her face was priceless. It was like she couldn't believe her ears.

"Look our scared girl is showing her true nature. There is no more sweet and naïve Isabella? Why would that be?'' I hate the expression in her face. I would do anything to wipe that stupid smile form her face.

"You don't know me, so you can't talk about my nature. Only a narrow-minded person like you can judge persons from the way the look or the clothes they wear. But don't worry I am not disappointed, because I didn't have high expectations of you. You turned up to be what I thought: empty and stupid.''

''Uau, big words said by a kid, don't you think that, my dear. I am sorry that you are so young and that Edward won't consider you at all. It is very sad, but this is the reality. He wants me, because I know what he likes and I am not a shy, small and boring little girl'' she said coming nearer to me.

''I have no doubts that you are more experienced than me. No one in this court has, believe me. I am young as you said, but not stupid nor ugly. You know that very well. I can see it in your eyes the panic that Edward is getting bored with you. And I will be there: young and welcoming. ''

Looking her in the eyes I said:'' I am his wife. That is never going to change, I promise you. You are just his whore and he is going to get tired of you. You are no one, absolutely no one. Don't think highly of yourself just because you warm my husband's bed.''

And one more thing: 'I will never forget this weekend. You are going to pay it dearly what you did. "Believe me, you don't want to be against me''

And now I wish you a nice day, if you can have one.

With that I left for my rooms with a big smile.

* * *

**Hi!**

**Two updates in one day! I am really spoiling you. Well to tell the truth I believe in one principle" One has to become always better, one should achieve every time more". So I promised my self I would have for each chapter at least one review more. So, you already more than passed the nr of reviews of chapter 10, that' s why you get a new updated!**

**You never fail to bring me a smile in my face with your comments, never!**

**So what do you think about the talk with the Queen? **

**Who ho was saying in the end" Take that you bi***!"**

**Some bad new:( I am going tomorrow to Oktoberfest in Munich and I think I won't be able to update this weekend, but maybe your love can make me find some time to do it. **

**-E**


	13. Chapter 13

I was so happy today that I hadn't seen that it was getting dark and it was time to eat dinner. At this time comes a maid in my room to inform me that I wasn't going to eat alone, but Edward was going to eat dinner with me also.

I knew very well why he was coming. It was highly probable that he had talked with the Queen and she had said him everything. He was coming to spend more time with me, like the Queen may have ordered him to do. It was the first time he had expressed his desire to eat with me alone and more in my own rooms. He had come in my rooms only in the nights he would visit my bed. He had never wanted to talk with me, even when I tried to have a conversation, were his short answers that closed everything.

What had the Queen said to him? Had she informed him that I complained about him? Yes, of course she had, what you think Isabella. Will he be angry with me that I said all this to the Queen? Will he see me a child, who can't solve her own problem and has to go to someone else to complain about it? Would this help our relationship or create more problems?

I was full of questions. To be honest, I have been full of questions since I came here, because I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what was expected from me. I had so many doubts, but no one to share them with. I wish my mother was here. She would know what to do in every occasion.

I saw as the servants came to my rooms and brought different plates full with food and fruits. They were coming and leaving my room in order to bring everything. They decorated the table and putted the food on it. Everything was meticulously prepared and organised. After everything was in place they left.

I was left one more time alone in my rooms, waiting for Edward. One more time I started to doubt myself. Should I be all smiling and accept everything he says or should I show how much his behaviour affected me? There was nothing I wanted more than scream in his face that I can't accept what he does. That I can't accept him throwing his lover in my face. That I want the place that corresponds to me. I want my place as his wife, Princess Isabella and the future Queen of Alaska.

I hear a light knock on the door. I knew very well who was there. The door opens and Edward enters. He walks slowly toward me and stops in front of me.

''Isabella, I wanted to have dinner with you.'' He said with quietly.

''Thank you very much for your presence Your Grace. It is a great pleasure that you are dedicating me your time." I said all polite to him, but inside I hated myself. I was disgusted at this weak person, who has to beg for some time with her husband. He was looking me directly in the eyes and seeing if what I was saying was true or not. He couldn't believe himself that I was being so polite to him after last-night.

Very awkwardly he seated in his seat and I in mine, directly in front of him. Even thought everything looked delicious, I didn't have any appetite. I was on the edge thinking, what is going to happen. What is he going to say? He picked-up his fork and started to eat and I did the same. We ate slowly and the dinner finished quiet early, because it seemed that none of us had appetite. We were playing with the food in our plates, trying to deal with the silence in my rooms. The silence was suffocating me.

''Isabella, I would like to talk with you. I think there are things we should explain so there won't be any misunderstandings. '' with this he raised form the sofa and offered me his hand. We moved toward my sleeping room, in order to talk with each-other.

Edward seated on the sofa next to my bed. He raised his head and invited me to seat beside him. Accepting his invitation I went near him and seated on the golden sofa.

''As you may imagine I talked with the Queen today. She expressed me her worries related with our marriage. She told me she spoke with you and that she understood you position.'' He went on saying without seeing me at all. He was just looking the ground. I didn't know what to say, so I just stayed quiet and waited for him to go on.

''She thinks is my fault!'' he says, turning his head and looking me.

''She told me that I am not working to save this marriage. Like that is something new to me.'' he said while smirking at me. I didn't know what to think. Why didn't he give our marriage a chance?

''I know that I haven't been the best husband.'' he starts laughing"The best husband! I have been far from the best husband and I know that. It is difficult for me to be around you and forget who you are.''

''I have tried to forget everything and think that you are my wife, but I can't. I swear Isabella I have tried many times. I tried thinking that you are just my wife and you origin is not important, but the truth is that I can't shut-off my mind.'' he was saying to me. All this time, as I heard his words I understood, how much he hated me and my father. I could see how big his hate was.

''I don't want to say that you are a bad person. Believe me! But I can't overlook your origin. I just demit""can't. When my father informed me of his decision, I thought I could do it. I thought it would be easy to forget, who you were. I just hadn't calculated this feeling. I hadn't calculated my feelings, when I would be around you.'' He said to me with a saddened expression.

I just couldn't stay anymore quiet. ''Why is it so difficult for you to accept me?'' I asked him.

''Common Isabella, what kind of question is that?'' he answered me like he couldn't believe, what I was saying?

''That is the most important question. It seems like only you suffered from the war. It is like this war is only my father's fault. But this is not true. There were two sides fighting. There are always two sides. You can't blame my father for this war. Your father is a guilty as mine.'' I said. Feeling good that in the end I said what I had been holding for a long of time inside. I could understand that he was not happy that I was his wife, because I was not also, but his behaviour made no sense. He had gone to extremes with his hate toward my father.

''Isabella, please I don't want to talk about it.'' He said.

''No Edward, we have to talk about it. It is what is not functioning in this marriage. It is the biggest obstacle, that doesn't let us go on with our lives. You said you wanted to talk to me. Okay, I am here. Let's talk. But please, we have to be sincere. We can't keep more things to ourselves anymore. I don't see how this marriage will function properly if we aren't honest with each-other. I don't know…'' I

''I am here to answer all you question, but this one.'' He said to me.

''All your questions, but this one?! What is this? I have to make, only the question you want? We wanted to be sincere with each-other. I am being totally honest and I am ready to answer everything, why can't you do the same?'' I said to him and I felt as I was getting angry with each minute it passed."'Isabella there are things I don't want to talk about. Things I am not ready to say.'' He said to me with a hushed voice.

''You are not ready right now, or you will never say this things to me? I have to know, what to wait. I can't put all my hopes in something and then get only disappointment that crushes my heart. I just can't, because I don't know, how much can my heart bear anymore.'' I was being so honest with him. I was telling him everything. I was opening my heart to him and making myself vulnerable in the process.

''I can only promise you that I am going to work on our marriage. I will give you more time and will try to be more present in your life. I know that I haven't given you much time and for that I am sorry.'' He said he would give me more time. What meant really more time? Was he going to be present always in different parts of my days or he would come more often in my bed?

And there was Tanya also. Would he keep his relationship with her, or not? This time he would give me, was the time he had free from Tanya?

''I have to ask you something.'' I said to him, wanting to have all his attention.

''What does Tanya mean to you?'' I asked him trying to be as strong as possible. I saw as his face changed as soon as I mentioned her name. In fact I didn't need an answer right now. It was obvious from his behaviour that she played an important role in his life.

''Tanya is very important to me'' as soon as a heard this, I felt my heart sinking. I didn't know why my heart played these games. I already knew that she was important to him, even though I didn't know how much.

''We have grown-up together. She can understand me better than anyone. She has my full trust.''

He kept talking but I was hearing just:

_She has my full trust _

_She has my full trust_

_She has my full trust_

_She has my full trust_

These words kept coming into my mind. She has the trust you will never have, Bella. The trust that is the most important thing to a prince and more to one prince that in the future will be a king. It was quite easy: he doesn't trust me and maybe he never will.

I felt my hands trembling because of the nerves. But no, this time I was not going to be weak.

''I don't know how or when but suddenly she was not just my best friend, she was much more. I am sure you know that already. '' I wanted to scream at him that I knew that. Thanks to his public humiliation I knew that.

''As for the hunting trip, I want to offer you my apology. I didn't think it very well. I didn't want to disrespect you in front of everyone. The hunting trips are very important to me and I wanted to spend them with my friends.'' He said. Of course I wasn't his friend.

''Tanya is going to have always an important place in my heart, but I don't want this to interfere with our marriage.'' He said to me. This time it was me who couldn't believe, what he was saying. Was he trying to be funny or what?

''I don't know if this is your way of being funny but is not a good joke. Even though she has a place in your heart that is not going to affect our marriage? What are you saying? Do you really think that? Do you think I will tolerate her presence? Do you think I will hush every time I see you with her? What? Should I accept that you will share your night with another woman?'' I was almost screaming now. Even though I tried to control my voice, I couldn't. I had been far too much time quiet; if I stayed more I would burst.

''Isabella that is what I can offer you right now. I don't know if later things may change, but right now is the maximum I can give you. "Even if I ask you, you won't end this relationship?'' I took his hand and looked in his eyes'' Please! Edward, I don't want to share you with someone else. I am opening my heart and putting it in your hands. You have the choice to make me happy or just to stab me. It is all in your hands. Please think about it.'' I could feel the tears in my eyes. They were there just ready to betray me like always.

Edward opened and closed his mouth many time till he found the courage to say me the words that would change our marriage forever ''I can't!''

I still could hear it ringing in my ears and becoming louder and louder.

_I can't._

_I can't_

_I can't_

_I can't_

He must have talked more, but I didn't hear anything. I didn't want to hear him, not after this. He didn't get the chance to hurt me anymore. This was the final stab. This was the final time I begged to him. This was the last chance he would get from me. The last one…

After composing myself I pulled my hand from his and looked him directly in the eyes.

''I understand perfectly, what your behaviour is going to be. And now I want you to know mine. What you and Tanya have is not important to me, when I have the place and the respect I deserve as your wife. I want she to know her place in my home and that is you lover, nothing more. Now I promise you, I will never interfere in your relationship with her as long as I don't see her. I don't want her here. This is my home. You can buy her a place and visit her there. I don't want my children having to see her.'' He looked shocked, but I didn't care at all.

''And one last thing. This was the last chance you got from me. There isn't going to be anymore a Bella waiting for you to change and pick her. Not anymore.''

''You are free to leave from the rooms when you want, since we don't have anything to discus with each-other. Everything is said.''

He rose slowly from the sofa like he wanted to talk to me. But it was too late right now. I see as he mover very slowly, taking small steps till he reaches the door. He pauses there a bit and opens it to leave my room.

I stay there in the sofa sitting, staring at the door and not thinking at anything.

Just staring emptily…

* * *

**Hi!**

**I know it has been long time, but I was in Munich for Oktoberfest. I still have the hangover. It was wonderful meeting my friends form all over the world, but I am very happy, that I am alive. I don't think I can drink for at least 3 months. **

**Now I am back and everything will be back to normal. We are getting near to the new chapters.**

**Tell me what you think of this chapter. Did you like Bella's reaction? Should she have been stronger or not? Don't forget to let me your hate for Edward also.**

**-E**


	14. Chapter 14

I found myself in my table writing a letter to my mother. The fact that I had already started ten times didn't help. So many things came all together in my mind and I wanted to tell her everything, but was it wise. How much could she improve my situation? I knew very well the answer of the question and for my bad luck, not so much.

After composing my thoughts and dealing with my inner fight of telling or not my mother, what had happened with Edward, I decided that it was better to tell her everything. She was my mother and she could help me with her advices.

After this decision I take a white paper and start to write

_Dear Mother,_

_It is so good that I can write to you. I miss you and father so much._

_How are you and father? How is the situation in Forks?_

_I already spoke with Duke Black. He informed me that everything was better, but we need time to recuperate from war._

_I want to thank you for sending him here. I feel more protected knowing he is here._

_I know very well, what you want to know so I will start immediately telling you._

_I wish I could give you better news, but I can't. My relationship with him is not functioning at all. I tried giving him everything, tolerating his mistakes and understanding his behaviour, but it came to a point where it was too much. _

_He cheats me…_

After I wrote that I felt as the pen would fall from my hand. I hurt so much accepting his infidelity. I hurt so much that Tanya came before me. It hurt so much that Edward didn't choose me. I lowered my head and rested my forehead on the table. I started feeling one more time weak. But I couldn't accept that. I let my fingers pass through my hair in an attempt to calm myself. After finding some strength I take me pen and write:

_He has a relationship with his cuisine Tanya. I saw them together and it hurt so much. _

_I am afraid of her. She doesn't want to be just his lover, she wants something more. I can see it in her eyes. She has an air of arrogance and power on the court. I asked Edward to end his relationship with her, but he said he couldn't. _

_Mother, it hurt so much hearing this from him. I need your help. I don't know what to do. I am lost here without you and father. A good news is that Queen Esme has been nice to me. I have to take care of this bound, because she is my only ally here. _

_I know that you aren't going to like it but, I told Edward that I wouldn't fight any more for our marriage and that he was free to be with any woman he wanted. Please Mother, try to understand me. I couldn't. I just couldn't anymore._

_I will be waiting for your letter. I can't wait till Duke Black comes from Forks and brings me news._

_With love_

_Your daughter_

_Bella_

After I finished my letter a folded it and inserted in an envelope. I stayed on the chair for some time just seeing the letter. I worried for my parent's reaction. I didn't want them to feel bad for my situation.

After some time I got-up and went to take a walk in the garden.

I had no desire to see anyone. I couldn't stand the fact that they knew about Edward's infidelity. Every time I was in their presence I felt like they were laughing at my situation. I didn't want to deal with them right now.

With that I went out and continued my walk in the garden. This place could give me the peace I needed. It was so good that the sun was not so strong, because the heat bothered me a lot. While walking I decided to seat in a bench there in the middle or the garden.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and started to relax. The wonderful smell of the flowers was helping me a lot. I kept my eyes closed for a long time and feel the sun in my face. Suddenly I opened my eyes only to see Duke Black. He was standing there, without moving, just starring me.

''Duke! I am sorry, but I didn't see you coming''

''Good morning, Princess! Are you having a nice day?'' he said to me, as a move aside to make place for him on the bench.

''Yes, I am!'' I say to him, without having the courage to see him on the face.

''Well, you certainly look like very happy Princess!'' after hearing this I turned to see him in the eyes.

''What are you talking about Jacob? If you have to say something, don't go around in circles, please. We have always been honest with each-other and this isn't the time to stop.''

''Princess, you know how much I worry for you. I want only the best for you, not only because it is my duty, but because I want. I felt honoured and happy as your parents assigned me the duty to be your counsellor from Forks.'' I feel my heart melting at his words. He remembers me so much home.

''Go one please, Jacob! Say, what you want. I can see it in your eyes that you want to say something to me. Please just drop the formalities and tell me everything.''

''Princess, as you know I am living in this court also. This makes it possible for me to be informed of everything, even though when it isn't pleasant. I don't know if you are informed, but Edward has a relationship with a woman in this court. Her name is Tanya and she is a cousin of Queen Esme.'' I don't know why, but I started to laugh.

''You don't know if I am informed. What do you think Duke Black? Does a women know, when her husband is cheating her or not? Tell me the truth?'' he doesn't answer and just looks at me.

''Yes Jacob, I know. I know he has a relationship with her. I have seen them together'' as I said this I could feel Jacob's stare at my face, but I couldn't see him.

''Princess...

''No! You wanted to know. Well, I am telling you everything. I know her and I know she is dangerous. I asked Edward to mover he away, but he hasn't done it and he won't do it. She is way too important to him.'' I said everything while looking at the floor, because it was easier that way. Looking his face was difficult.

''Princess!'' I didn't turn my head.

''Isabella!''

''Bells!'' this time he takes my hand.

''Please Bella look at me. You have nothing to be ashamed. I am here to help you with everything.''

''Jacob she is important. She isn't just a woman that warms his bed, she is more. He is in love with her. He told that to me. He told that in my face.''

''What should we do, Princess? We have to find a way to push this woman away. You can't let her threat you position here. It is imperative to have a strong position in the court, only in this way can you protect Forks.''

I knew this already. It was of no help what he was saying.

''I know that, but I don't know what to do. I asked him to send her away, but he didn't, so you can see how much my words are worthy here.''

''Bella, everyone has a secret. Everyone has something that no one knows. We have to find her's. You should let this in my hands. Maybe we can force her to leave from here.''

''I don't know Jacob.''

''I am going to search everything about her. I promise you, that I will find something.''

I felt so good having a friend. I was so good having him here.

''I will leave tomorrow for Forks. Is your letter ready?''

''Yes, it is.''

As we booth stood-up I did something irrational. I hugged him. I hugged him, while silently thanking him for everything. While standing there in the middle of the garden in Jacob's arms I see Edward looking directly at us.

* * *

**Here is a new chapter, since you passed the nr of reviews of last chapter.**

**what do you guys thing of out Duke Jacob?**

**-E**


	15. Chapter 15

My arms froze. I couldn't move them, even though it was the right thing to do. My eyes were fixed in Edward's face. His gaze was penetrating.

Slowly I moved my arms down. Jacob seemed to sense my discomfort and raised his palms to see my face. I know very well he was met with my blank face, full with fair and trepidation.

''Bella are you all right? Is something wrong?'' his voice was full with concern. Even though he was talking to me, my eyes were fixed in Edward's ones. The anger in his face scared me. I didn't know, what he was thinking. How did he see this hug? Did he doubt my fidelity toward him?

Jacob followed my gaze and saw Edward's eyes focused on us. He paused a bit looking at Edward. This time his hands drop my face.

I don't know why I was feeling this guilty. I had done nothing wrong. It was just a friendly hug and certainly he didn't have the moral to judge me. He told me in my face that he was cheating me with Tanya.

I was getting angry with myself. Where was my pride? Where was my courage? How could he make me feel so bad about something I didn't have any fault? Where did he take the courage to be look so angry, after everything he had done and said? That was beyond me.

I see as Edward comes near us. He kept moving steadily toward us with an air of arrogance. It was strange because he was alone, without his companions. Quickly he was in front of us.

''Good Morning, My Lady wife!'' he said with a polite voice.

Jacob bowed and greeted Edward also.

''Prince Edward is a pleasure to make your acquaintance! I am Duke Black, Princess Isabella's counsellor from Forks''

''The pleasure is all mine, Duke Jacob!'' Edward's voice was full of arrogance as he spoke with Jacob.

''When I heard that someone was coming from Forks to help Isabella, I thought I would be someone older. I thought I would be someone with more experience in diplomacy. You are quite a surprise Duke Black.''

''It is true that I don't carry many year in my shoulders, but I can reassure you that I carry the necessary knowledge to be Princess Isabella's counsellor.''

''I don't doubt it. The King of Forks wouldn't neglect his only daughter by sending a young boy, without experience. Wouldn't he me dear?''

''You are right me dear husband. My father has found the best person to advise me. Duke Jacob's few years of experiences are justified by the great results of his work. He has achieved so much in a few years and this deserves my total admiration. In fact, I do admire him.''

His face was hilarious. He was so angry with me. He was so angry I was praising Jacob in his presence and he hated the fact that Jacob was young and handsome.

''It seemed that you two were close to each-other. How do you know him Isabella?'' he was talking with a smirk in his face. His eyes were totally green right know and I knew from my other experiences that it was a sight that showed he was angry. In this case, very angry.

''How do I know him, Edward? He is my childhood friend. We grow-up together, since his father has a honourable place on the court. My father cherishes an old friendship with Duke Jacob's father. In fact, Duke Jacob has shown his impeccable abilities since he was young. My father is proud of having him in the court and as one of his best man, he send it here to serve and help me''

This time I turn toward Jacob'' I want to thank you personally for being her. I can't think of someone better than you Duke Jacob.'' I knew very well how angry Edward was now, but I didn't care.

''It is an honour to work for you, Princess!''

''So, are you staying long in Alaska Duke Jacob?'' Edward asked totally furious, even though his voice was polite. I was sure Jacob could also understand his ire, behind his controlled mask.

''In fact I will be leaving right now, Your Highness. I am waiting for the letter Princess Isabella wrote to her mother. I know she would be pleased to have some news directly from her daughter.''

''You should bring him the letter, my dear. We shouldn't let the Duke wait.'' Edward said to me. I could see he wanted Jacob gone as soon as possible.

''I was leaving right now in my rooms in order to take the letter.''

''Well, then I can accompany you to your room, since I am heading inside also.'' He said to me while offering me his hand.

''I wish you have a nice journey Duke Jacob. Send my greetings to the Queen and King of Forks.''

''I undoubtedly will. I will be waiting for you to bring me the letter, Princess.''

I feel as Edward's hand tightens around mine. We move steadily toward the castle. He didn't say anything, but I was sure he was mad as hell and he wanted explanations. After walking quite fast we reach my rooms and Edward opens the door to let us enter. Immediately he slammed the door closed.

''I can't believe you had the courage to complain to my mother about my infidelity, when you are doing the same thing!'' he was screaming at me.

''You are hallucinating. Not everyone is like you. Not everyone doesn't have values and moral. Not everyone disrespect their partner like you do. Just because you have no moral and no sensibility, don't you dare to compare yourself to me.'' I was screaming as lout as him.

''I have tolerated many things you have done and said, but there is a limit and you have reached it. You don't know anything. You don't respect anyone. You are just a spoiled prince without principles and honour. That is what you are. A despicable person that no one respects out of will but just out of duty.''

'' And now, with your permission Jacob is waiting for the letter.'' As I turn to take the letter, I feel his hand grabbing my arm.

''Now is Jacob not Duke Jacob anymore. Since when you two speak to each-other in the first name basis.''

''Please Edward. Stop finding skeletons, where there are not. There is nothing between Duke Jacob and me. Nothing at all. Now I have to go, since he is waiting for me.''

''Oh, we can't let our Duke Black wait.'' I hated the irony in his voice.

''What is with you and Jacob? Why are you being like that? Are you jealous of him?'' I asked him and enjoying the discomfort written all over his features.

''Don't be absurd Isabella. As you said there is nothing between you two, so there is no reason to be jalousie. Or is there any reason for me to worry, my dear wife?''

''Please, stop being so stupid!'' I screamed at him. His face was priceless. He could believe his ears and I couldn't believe, what my mouth had said. But it felt so good. It was precisely, what I wanted to say, what I felt at the moment. I didn't care that he looked touched from this. I didn't care at all.

''What do you want to hear, Edward? What does your sick imagination is planning? Do you want to hear that he is my lover?

''Do you want to hear that I love him?''

''Do you want to hear that I like his presence more than yours?''

''Do you want to hear that I dream of him being my husband and not some arrogant, soulless and cruel person I am forced to live with?''

A kept screaming everything in his face, not caring his facial expression. Not caring that I may hurt his feelings. Not caring that I was admitting in front of him, that I would rather have Jacob as my husband.

''I may be a cruel and arrogant person as you call it, but I am your husband and you have to respect me for it.''

''I have to respect you! Why is that? If you don't respect me, by cheating me in my home with a woman like Tanya, why should I respect you? You don't have the moral to ask for respect. You should give respect and then wait for it back. It doesn't work the way you want. You humiliate me in front of everyone here in the court and I should respect you? Well, I am sorry to disappoint you, but this is not going to work like that.''

''Please, for the least time stop your phantasies. There is nothing between us. I would like you to be nice to him, since he is very important to me.''

As soon as I end my sentence, his hands come to my face to grab it and pull me flush to his face. Then he crushes his lips to mine. They are so forceful. His hands are grabbing my head tightly and his lips are more dominating. I feel his mouth open and him sucking my lower lip.

I try to push him away with my hands, but he doesn't give up. He forces my mouth to open and thrusts his tong inside my mouth. His tong meets mine and his hands go to my face, in order to caress my cheeks. After this long kiss, he stops to breath. His fingers go under my eyes and he looks directly into them. I feel the air in my face as he exhales.

He keeps seeing me as if he is studying my every move, my every breath. His hands fall from my face to go down to my middle as he lifts me up and seats me on top of my writing table. He is standing between me open legs, looking hungry at me.

One more time he starts kissing me. This time is not so forceful. His smooth lips move in synchrony with mine. His tong meets with mine and his arm grab me tightly around my middle. He brings me to the very edge of the table, so our bodies come in contact with each-other.

After kissing me breathless, he goes down to my throat and then to the top of my breasts. This drives me wild. I love his lips in my breast. It creates a wonderful feeling inside of me. It's like a coil in bottom of my stomach. He was kissing and sucking my breast like a mad man. I love this feeling and pulled his head tightly to me chest. It looked like Edward loved it also, because the look on his face was unique. The satisfaction and lust were written in his face and eyes.

''I need you so bad Isabella. I want you so much.''

''Are you okay with this?'' he was asking with pleading eyes. I couldn't imagine what he would do, if I told him not.

''Yes, Edward. I want you also so badly right now.'' As I said this I grabbed his head and kissed him one more time, thrusting this time my tong in his mouth.

His hands come to the front of my dress and started shredding my dress. He didn't even try to open it. He went for the easy option, to have my breast exposed to his eyes and hands. And in fact it works. My breasts are totally exposed to him. His hands massage both of them, at the same time. He pinches my nipples with his finder and I can't stop the moan that escapes my mouth. Edward looks so surprised hearing me make this sound. He repeats this action, but this time he captures my moan in his mouth. I feel as my sound die in his mouth with the feeling of his lips and tong.

I am going totally crazy form this feeling of pleasure. I push him away in order to remove my dress completely form my body, but Edward doesn't understand this and feeling rejected. I take his both hand and put them at my breast. My hands are on top of his, guiding him to massage them as I see him directly in the eyes.

While holding his hands there I move from the table and stand in front of Edward. I guide his hand down, where my dress is. There was no way to remove it normally and I didn't have the patience, so I continued Edward's work shredding my own dress. As he saw what I was doing, he looked so hungry and his eyes were full of lust. He grabbed my dress and destroyed it completely, leaving me with only my breaches. Immediately I push them down and I stand completely naked in front of him.

In front of me was a man fully clothed. I couldn't wait any more. I destroyed his shirt as the buttons flew all over the room. After the shirt came the pants. As I went down, I saw the tent that was formed in his pants. I knew very well, what was it and there reason of its appearance. I passed my hand to the bulge in his pants. Edward moan echoed in the room. The look in his face was triumphant. I decided to remove his pants completely and with his help I achieve it.

We are both standing naked in front of each other. He come nearer me and removes some lock of my hair from my face and then kisses me cheek there. I circle his middle and force him to kiss me. In the beginning the kiss was light, but then it changed completely. We were sucking each other's faces and every kiss lasted till we couldn't breathe any more. Even then we would start to kiss some other part of each-others body.

Since he was much taller than me, this position was very difficult. Edward circles my middle with his arm and I wrap my leg into his body. He places me one more time on the table. During all this process we keep kissing each other and discovering our bodies. There is no place in his body I haven't caressed.

After seating me there, he puts his hand on my thighs and mover them apart, to make room for his body. I can see clearly that he is aroused. His manhood is standing on its own and its point at my body. I can feel it in my stomach as we kiss.

Then I do something very bold. I move my hand to touch it. The skin is so smooth, despite how hard he was. As soon as I touched him, he started to moan loudly and sucked on my shoulder. It had never seen him like this. Without stopping the sucking and biting in my shoulder, one of his hands come on top of mine, and forces me to grab his manhood more tightly. He also shows me the velocity of the motions. All the time he is moaning in my ear.

After a while he removes my hands from his manhood and kisses me deeply. One of his hands directs his manhood into my body. There is discomfort at all, only a wonderful feeling of pleasure and I show it openly. He looks into my eyes and I show him, how much I like what is happening. He smiles and kisses me one more time. I can feel him moving in and out of me. The feeling formed by the friction there is great and I can't stop moaning. Edward thrust faster and faster and his movement start to get sloppier. I know very well, what does this mean. He is near of his becoming his pleasure, but that is not a problem because I am near of mine also. After a couple of more forceful thrust we come together. As always he screams in my throat, how wonderful it feels. His hands grab me tightly, because he is so tired after his. After some minutes he stays just like that. His hand in my shoulder and his arms around me.

After I collect myself I say to him

''Get-up and get-out of my room. Now we are over.'' His body tenses immediately and his head move slowly form my shoulder.

''What are you saying?'' he asked me with a surprised face.

''I am saying, that I want you gone from my room. There is no reason for you to stay here anymore. I got what I wanted from you, so now please I have to get dressed and meet my friend, who is waiting for me.''

With that I went to the screen to change into a new dress and let him there standing in the middle of my room.

* * *

**Firstly I want to thank you for all your wonderful reviews. I am surprised by it, because in the last two chapters I have gotten almost as many reviews as before. I can't even explain it, how great it feels, when your readers take time to share their thoughts.**

**Secondly next chapter is the last one of the old chapters. So does anyone of my old readers remember, what happens in chapter 16? I am really curious.**

**Thirdly what do you think of what Bella did? Personally I like it a lot. It was one if the funniest scenes I wrote.**

**-E**


	16. Chapter 16

_Well this is the last of the old chapters. I am sure my old readers remember it._

* * *

I was staying with my hand-maids when one of the nobles came to my room to inform me that my presence was imperative in the dinner that was held tonight. The Queen personally had requested my presence there.

I knew the reason of this request. Yesterday had come to the court the King and the Queen of Phoenix. They had been their strongest alley during the war. I knew very well that there was a strong friendship between King Carlisle and the King of Phoenix. I was sure that he had come to my weeding, but I didn't remember it. I was overwhelmed during the ceremony that only few moments were fixed in my mind.

This night was going to be an important night. I had to do my best to present myself. This King may have won the war together with the King of Alaska, but he had to respect me and give me my place as Edward's wife. It was quite weird. I had hated this man and King Carlisle all my life and now I was forced to respect them and treat them as family. How could I do that? How could I stand against everything I had believed all my life? In moments like this, I hated my father for his choice. But I knew that I wasn't his fault. He didn't have another choice. I knew that this was the only option. My father hated the Cullen I much as I did. The last thing he may have thought is that his daughter was going to marry Edward Cullen.

My hand-maids helped me with me dress and hair. I used the most expensive dress I had. It was a present form Queen Esme. My hand-maids spend a lot of time preparing my hair, till they were perfect. After I was prepared and totally satisfied with the result, I send them away. I wanted to be alone and reflect. I wanted to be prepared for what was coming.

What was he going to do? Was he going to be all smiley and happy for Edward's new wife or was he going to express his displeasure with the choice. I didn't think he would be openly against me, because that would go against King Carlisle's word. In the end, was he who proposed this marriage? He wanted his son to marry me.

There was just a way to discover, how would they behave and that was going to this dinner. As soon as I was leaving the door, I remembered something. I turned-back and went to the drawer, where I held my jewellery. There was the diadem that Queen Esme had given to me. I took the diadem and placed on the top of my head. I had to present myself as the princess of Alaska and the future Queen. Neither my look nor my personality would show less.

I was quite worried, because my husband would be there. I don't know how he will behave after what I did to him this morning. It was true that I enjoyed his humiliation, but right now I was getting a bit nervous about it. How will he be in his dinner? I couldn't wait and see his behaviour toward me.

With this I left my rooms to go to the main hall, where almost everyone was seating. One could see that this was a special occasion. The ornaments on the room and tables were amazing. Everything was fitting for the welcoming of the Queen and King of Phoenix.

I seated in the chair beside Edward's and in front of King Carlisle. I could see how tense Edward was. I had come to understand his humour by his posture. As a prince his posture was always prefect and totally cured, but there was the tense face and wide-opened eyed that showed the true Edward. The one that couldn't accept being defeated by a woman.

The dinner passed without any incident at all. Everyone was being polite and there were only good spirits. Suddenly the king of Phoenix said to Edward

''Prince Edward, it looks like your lovely bride has tamed your wild spirit. You have been surprisingly quit tonight. Very different from the Edward I know, my dear.''

I could almost laugh with the expression in Edward's face. He was totally red and I already knew, what did this meant. He was so angry, but he couldn't show it here. It must not be pleasant to hear this, after the way I treated him this morning.

''King Arthur, I can only praise my wife. What can I say? I have been blessed with a wonderful wife like Princess Isabella. As for my spirit, I don't know if she has tamed it, but she is in the way to do so.'' He said this while looking me in the eyes.

''I am sorry if I interfere, but I would like to ask you something your Highness. For what wild spirit are you talking about? Because I know a totally different Edward. The one I have had the pleasure to know is rather submissive and collected. I am quite surprised to learn this quality of my husband from you''

After I said this words, I didn't have the courage to look at Edward's face. He must be so angry right now. If he could kill me right now, he would have done it. Slowly I turned my head to his direction. His face showed nothing. I was not surprised, because he is trained to not show his real feelings. But there was something giving him out. The way he was gripping the table. His knuckles had turned white and I thought he would destroy the table or at least throw it at me. He looks in my direction and says

''My love you have not encounter my temperament, because I don't show it to the dear ones. As you know you are the dearest person to me Isabella. And how can someone not be tamed from love? Even more when the one you care most renounces from her family. When the one you love chooses you over her family. When the one you love changes, what she has thought all her life just because of you. Such actions would change everyone and I am proud of them''

''Well my dear Prince, what can I say more. I just wish you and your wife all the happiness and hopefully the next time we will celebrate the coming of the new heir.''

'Thank you, my King! I am sure it will be like you say. Let's hope our next reunion will be one of joy, and a new heir would be amazing!''

After their exchange the conversations continued between each other, but there were cordial. After some minutes I left the table and headed toward my rooms.

My door opens and my hand-maid comes inside. She prepares me from sleep. After I am ready she leaves the room. I couldn't sleep so I decided to read a book. As soon as I open the cover, someone knocks in my door.

There is Edward. What is he doing here? I was quite surprised to say the true. Then it comes to me that today is Monday and Edward visits my bed every Monday. How could I have forgotten it?

''You seemed surprised to me see me here'' he asks.

''No. I just had forgotten, that today is Monday.''

''You don't say! What distracted you so much, the morning activities or the nice conversation, where you deliberately humiliated your husband?''

'Deliberately humiliated my husband?! I don't remember such thing. I was making a legitimate question. I wanted more information about my husband's character.''

''There was nothing legitimate about your question. And it looked more like an insinuation that a question.''

''Please Edward, stop with this game of words. I am sorry if I made you feel bad. I assure you that it was not my intention.''

''It was not your intention?! That was your only intention, Isabella. Don't make me a fool. I know very well the game you are playing and I am telling you, that I don't like it.''

I didn't want to hear him anymore complaining, so I rose form the bad and standing in front of him. I bent-down and removed my night-gown completely, being naked in front of him. Lust was written in his features.

''Well, let's be over with, what you came here for'' I said to him.

With that he removes his clothes and starts kissing my hungrily. He pushes me on the bed and hover over my body. His hands never stop touching me. In fact they are quite forceful, but I enjoy it. I feel him kissing my and sucking my neck and he roughly touches my breast. I can't stop myself form moaning. I want this so much as he wants it. He nudges my legs apart with his leg and comes between my legs. I raised my head and see him stroking himself before he guides it inside my body. It is wonderful the feeling of fullness. The more stretched I am, the more pleased I feel. In fact I can't complain about Edward's manhood. He starts moving inside of me with forceful thrusts. My head moved from one side to the other. The feeling was unique and couldn't be compared with anything else. My moaning had gone way to laud, but I didn't care. I wasn't doing anything wrong. And there was the feeling that was formed on my lower stomach. After two or three thrust I was out screaming his name and grabbing his hair with my fingers.

I don't know if he was finished, because I concentrated only on my pleasure. But I am sure that he did. There was no way he would stop without having his pleasure.

As always his head was resting on my breasts and his arm was wrapped around my middle.

''Aren't you sending me out right now?'' he said without seeing me at all.

''I speak just once. I don't want you here after you have been with me. I don't need you and don't see the necessity for you to stay here. So you know very well, what you must do.''

He got-up and did his sleeping robe.

''Good-night my husband, wish you a good sleep!

''Likewise Isabella''

And with that he left me room very quietly...

* * *

**I am quite worried about the next chapter. This story changes totally and I am sure no one of you expects it. I don't know if you are going to be disappointed or you are going to like it. I can just say that it was very difficult for me to write the next three chapters. But it had to be done. The first chapter that I wrote for this story comes later one. I wrote all this just for that chapter so everything fits. **

**I just hope you will stay with me. **

**-E**


	17. Chapter 17

**Well, here is chapter 17...**

* * *

I don't know how we two came to this point. Everything seems lost right now. My marriage is worst in this moment, than in the beginning. At lest than we talked with each-other, even though mostly while fighting. At least than was an interaction between us.

With the time I had come to feel very lonely. I had pushed everyone away. Every time I was with them I felt as an outsider. The hope that this place would become my home had vanished since long, leaving me bitter and alone. I was alone, because I had come to resent his entire family. In my eyes they were not my family, They were just some people I had to call family and be polite to, but there was no love or affection between us. In a real family the members were equal and they were treated as equal, but in my "family" this never happened. They alway took Edward's side. I just wanted once they to speak against him. They had said to me time after time that I was their daughter, but they never protected me, they never took my side, even though Edward was the one cheating and commenting an injustice against me.

It is true that Queen Esme was not pleased with the way Edward treated me, but she did nothing to stop him. She could have obliged Edward to send Tanya away from the palace, but she didn't do it. She knew very well, that I had requested this to Edward,but he hadn't accepted. I was so disappointed that she didn't do anything. I had come to trust her a lot and see her as my ally, but she was Edward's mother. She would always pick his side, no meter what. After that I didn't want to stay more with her. Something was broken between us and it was difficult to go back, where we were. I was avoiding her as much as I could, but seeing her was inevitable. I know very well that she could sense my anger and disappointment, she never said or did anything.

My relationship with King Carlisle had never been a strong one, but on the occasions I got to see him, I was on my best behavior. It wasn't a wise thing the anger that man and I wasn't stupid to do that. Till now I have been the perfect daughter-in-law. It was his son that had disgraced the family name with his infidelity. In fact he has been always very polite with me, but never really tried to know me.

As for Princesses Alice and Rosalie I could say that we were on good terms with each-other, but that was it. We hadn't gone before so well together and we weren't either right now. We would only exchange words of courtesy, when we would see each-other in dinners, on the court or in the gardens. I wasn't even the slightness sad that we didn't have a strong bound, because I didn't like them. This station was fact it more my fault than theirs. I simply didn't like them and their personality.

What had dramatically changed and for worse was my relationship with my husband. We had became two strangers that share in some nights the same bad. It always felt so forced and now it had become a mean to a goal. Gone were the days of passion. I don't think he even removes his clothes completely. I don't even remember the last time he kissed me. I remember he always took pleasure in kissing my neck after we were together, but he would leave immediately after he was finished, so I guess there was no time for that. We had sex strictly every Monday. Before he may have come to my bed even on the other days, but now only on Mondays and he never stayed more than forty minutes.

I had no one to blame for this, rather than myself. I can't even remember, how many time I said to him to leave my bed. Ever time he tried to stay more I pushed him away. I always tried to show him that I just wanted his body and nothing more. I want to prove to him that he didn't mater to me at all. I think one person can't take so many refusals.

I don't want to say that what I did was wrong, because it isn't. He had openly disrespected me. I had even accepted his lover, but I just didn't want her in my house. In the house my children will be borne and grow-up, but he couldn't do that. He didn't care if I was suffering or not. To him was only important to have his lover there, so he could see her whenever he wanted. He didn't think on the humiliation I would pass every time I saw her. He didn't consider my feelings as I begged him to move her away.

I never thought that what I did was wrong, but the fact is that this behavior brought me here today; without friends and with a strained relationship with my husband. My mother was really worried of this situation, but I told her that I wouldn't bow at him. If he wants a happy marriage he should respect me, because I never will tolerate him insulting me. It didn't meter how many times she begged to me to get nearer to him and win his heart, but I never did it. I had done that in the begging and what had it brought to me; just pain and humiliation. I wouldn't do twice the same mistake.

My only salvation were my best friends Angela and Jessica. I own them my sanity and a few glimpses of happiness. The were what one would call rebel and I liked that. What I mostly liked was partying with them. It was crazy and I could be totally free. There I wasn't Princess Isabella, who had thousands obligations. There I wasn't the woman, who had to face almost everyday her husband's lover. There I just was Isabella, who had fun drinking and dancing. We always lost count of the bottles we drank. Because this wasn't good-seen, there were always few people on our parties. Mostly there were young royals, who were bored with the strict rules of the court and they needed some moments of fun and enjoyment. I can't even describe how loud this parties could get, but one thing was sure never ended one before down. I had grown to love them. There were weeks I would wait all the week just for the party. During these months I hadn't lost one of them and in every single party I had the time of my life.

Why wouldn't one love this parties? There were young people, who didn't care about the etiquette. They just waned to drink, to dance, to laugh, to talk about things which were considered taboo and mostly to know new people, who were considered rebel also. All the people present were rich and one could see that from their dressing. It was wonderful, when I could met people, who had been traveling in Europe. They had so many stories to tell. Sometime you could ever tell by the model of their hair or of their dresses, that they had been outside this kingdom. Since becoming a regular participant of this parties I started paying more attention to fashion. I could afford that and the Queen always said that my look was really important. In fact I had noticed the difference. I could feel the stares of the men and the women also. Some young royals would forget that I was Edward's wife and ogle me way too much. I had nothing against it. I had grown to love the attention I got from them. Maybe because I didn't have the attention of the person I wanted to.

Last night had been one of the best nights. I had partied so hard and came at the early hours of down home. I was so tired that I even didn't get up from bed. My hand-maids knew very well not to disturb me after such nights. I felt dizzy and had a feeling I would throw-up. I knew that a good bath would help me a lot, but I could,'t even move. All my muscles were sore and my head weighted a lot. As soon as I rested my eyes on the pillow my room became painfully too light. I turn and see Jacob by the window. He had opened the curtains. I started to complain but he didn't stop. He went to the other side and did the same. The light was disturbing me and I tried to cover my eyes, but then I fell his hands grabbing my arms.

''What are you doing Isabella?'' he asked me with a stern look?

''Sleeping, till you woke me up. Isn't it obvious?'' I knew very well, what he meant, but I was hopping he would drop the lecture for later, but it seemed this wasn't the case.

''Don't be funny. You know very well, what am I talking about.''

''Yeh, well I am sorry, but you have to be more clear'' I said and tried to lie down on the bed.

''What are you doing? What happened to you Bells? Where is my best friend? What happened to her?'' he was asking me with this pained expression in his face.

''She got tried of being refused. She can't anymore with the loneliness. She is tired of being the enemy in her own house.'' I spoke with him, but my head was lying on the pillow.

''You know that this behavior can't continue anymore? People are talking Bella. They are commenting your behavior and believe me not in a positive light. Why are you so obstinate to destroy the good image you created in the begging?''

''I am just trying to enjoy my life. Why can't they let me be. So what is bad, when I party with my friends?''

''Bella there is nothing wrong with partying, but not every week. You are a princess! You have other duties to attend''

''There is nothing wrong Jacob. I just get to stay with people, who really like me, not like here. I am doing nothing wrong. I am young and its norman for me to party.''

''No, this has to stop! You have been spending so much money on clothes and parties. You have ignored you duties in the court. You are barely visible there. Bella the people need to know that their princess is there for them and not parting and spending money.''

''They don't care about me. The Queen is there to reassure them. Why don't they need me?''

''Bella you know what you will be he next Queen. Is this the image you want your people want to have for you? A Queen, who gets drunk, spends money and doesn't take care of the problems in the court?''

''Why are you being so dramatic? A Queen, who gets drunk! It happened just last night. I drank a a lot. It was just a night thing. You know that.''

''I don't know anything right now. I just know that my best friend has turned into this woman I don't like.''

''You don't have to like me. I wasn't expecting that. When my own husband doesn't like my, I don't expect the others to do that.''

Suddenly I feel his arms at my shoulders. He was trying to make me stand and face him. I slowly turn and see his him.

''You don't think that Bella, do you? You know how dear you are to me Princess. I am just worried of you, because I don't like the way you are behaving lately. I know why you are doing it, but still is not right. If you are unhappy with your life you should face the problem and not try to forget it with alcohol. That doesn't work Bella. You have responsibilities on your shoulders and a duty to fulfill. You know that the people of Forks have all their hopes in you. They have put all the trust in you and you can't repay them back like that.''

''You know, you mother is worried about you. She told me I had to interfere, but I trust you and your judgment Bella. I know you will do, what is best and stop with this behavior that has nothing to do with my best friend, with the courageous girl I knew and this wonderful women she has turned into.''

After saying this he bowes at me and leaves the room.

I feel quite bad and smell like alcohol. I call my hand-maids to prepare me a hot bath. I seat on the sofa in front of the writing-table. I see as the hand-maids carry everything and prepare my bath. I feel so tired that I put my cheek on the table and enjoy the soothing I get form the coldness of the surface. I keep seeing my hand-maids with the wait white towels and the flower petals and suddenly I am back on my childhood. I am on the garden on the castle playing with my friends and Jacob was there also. He is always there for me. I remember as I used to swing so high and feel the air on my face. I was so free at the time. I had no obligations, no role to play and no duty to fulfill. But most importably I was surrounded by people I loved.

I was totally lost in my memories, when a hand-maid comes near me.

''Your Highness, your bath is ready."

''You all can leave right now. I want to take this bathe alone. Thank you for everything!''

After the door was closed after them, I removed my night-gown and got in the bath. It felt so good and the water was soothing all my sore muscles. I tried to wash my body very quickly, but time after time I would think on Jacob's word. Had I really damaged so much my figure on the court and on the people?

While brushing my hair I kept thinking on Edward. What did he think about this situation? Why didn't he ever comment?

After some time I felt as the water had turned cold, but I didn't want to get out. I brought my legs to my chest and rested my cheek on my knees. I was totally lost. I didn't know what to do. Jacob's words were ringing in my ears. Had I destroyed everything? Had I isolated myself, because I turned my back to my new family? What hurts most is that I hadn't achieved nothing with this behavior.

I went partying to show him that I didn't need his presence in my life. I was fine and happy with my friends. I bought the most expensive dresses so he would notice me, but it never happened. Every time a man would notice me, I wished secretly that Edward would also, but this also didn't happen.

I feel as some tears escape my eyes and roll down my knees. I had to find a solution. This situation couldn't go on any longer. I had to put a stop on it.

* * *

**I really hope you will like this chapter. I was not sure and sadly have no one to talk about, since I don't have a beta. I would love it if one if you would ofer to be the beta or at least a Pre-reader. In fact right now I am writing chapter 21 and I have a terrible block. It has been two weeks and I haven't written more than three sentences.**

**I will try to settle a regular schedule and that would be every Friday. Now the Uni has started and I am Medicine student so I don't have too much free time and more I am studying in a foreign country in a language that isn't my mother tongue. This makes things more complicated, but don't worry my German is better than my English :)**

**tell me me what you think. I really need to know.**

**-E**


	18. Chapter 18

Even though my head was throbbing so badly, I found the strength to get out of my rooms. I couldn't stay anymore inside or I would get crazy. Jacob's word were ringing in my ears and I felt like a failure. I don't know in what moment I lost control of myself and came to this condition. In the beginning I didn't even like Alcohol, but now it seems I can't be happy without it. Even when I was partying with my friends, it didn't mater if I was laughing or in a good company, the only time I would be happy, was after I drank. I don't know, if that was happiness…

Is it happiness when you are carefree?

Is it happiness, when you are laughing so much, because you are having a great time with people you like a lot and appreciate you?

Is it happiness to forget your duty and just enjoy?

For a long time I thought so and it is true. The only flaw this happiness has, is that is short-lived. You are happy only in the evenings. In the evenings of loud music, of dancing, great company, food, chocolate and lots of alcohol. But the morning comes and all that happiness vanishes and you are left with a head-ache, pain and humiliation. Some times I wished I was one of those night-creatures, so I only would get the pleasures of nights, without having to deal with my duties during the days. There was no point on entertaining such thoughts, because it was impossible.

…and one more time, after a great night I have to face my daily activities, which aren't pleasant at all.

I decided to present myself at the court. Jacob said that I haven't been there and that was not good. The Queen would become suspicious at some time and than I would be face with some serious problems. While walking in the hall I see the last person I wish to encounter, Tanya. I hated this woman with all my heart. I hated her air of arrogance in the court. She was just a simple royal, but she knew she could control Edward and that gave her power. I wished I could whip that stupid smile from her face and show her, that she was nothing more than a whore. I don't know how many times I dreamt of grabbing her by the hairs and throwing her out. What a scandal would that be! To say the truth I had entertained myself with much some sinful thoughts like killing here more than once, but I couldn't find it in me to care or to feel regretful.

I thought she would leave without saying a word, like it was normal, but this didn't seem to be the case today. Like this day wasn't horrible enough she had to open that horrible mouth of hers.

''Good morning Princess Isabella!'' she said while bowing. This woman had lots of courage, I had to admit it. She knew very well, she couldn't talk to me,without me addressing her first, but it didn't mater to her. That much was crystal clear. I knew very well, from where did her security come, even though I tried not to think about it. I never thought I could hate so much before meeting this woman.

''Good morning Tanya! I think one of this days I told you not to address to me first. You know there are manners, don't you? Such a noble Lady has to know the rank she belongs to and yours my dear is lower than mine. Well I don't know if Lady is the proper term for you, because you may be everything, but a Lady.'' I answered to her keeping my cool as much as possible. She brought me drakes side to light. Was it not enough being my husband's mistress? Why was she trying to make my life here miserable?

''Well if we are talking about manners, why don't we discus Yours Princess?'' she said with a smirk in her face. She had a mischievous grin on her face and in that moment I swore that one of this days I will punch her so badly so she will never be able to do that again.

''Tanya you know that you are not in the position to judge my behavior. You remember that I am your Princess and future Queen, don't you? She was really getting on my nerves. I mean, how can she say something like that? I was boiling inside. One thing was she talking to me out of order and a totally other thing was she jugging my comportment. She was pushing me to throw her out. I know she found it interesting to play with my nerves but she didn't know she was playing with fire.

''I may not be, but there are other, who can do it.'' She said to me in a demure voice that irritated me more. I thought she would just drop the subject and leave like she had done always, but today seems like everyone is trying to give me a head-ache. If Jacob could do it because he is my friend and only wants what it good for me, she can't. At least I want tolerate it.

''Then let them do it. It is not your business!'' I was almost screaming to her.

''As you said, you are my future Queen and I worry for you. I don't want the King and the Queen to get angry with their precious daughter-in-law, because she is almost every night drunk.''

''Is enough Tanya! Who do you think you are? With what courage can you tell me these things? With what?'' I was full scramming right now and I didn't care at all. I never thought she would actually say that. One thing was thinking it and one thing was saying that to you future Queen.

''You have to learn to keep your place. I will not tolerate more of you speaking like this. With what courage do you judge my behavior, when you sleep with a married man. With what moral, does a whore judge?''I can the pain in her eyes, when I call her a whore, but I don't care.

''Yes Tanya, you are a whore. Don't make the role of the offended one, because it doesn't suit you at all.'' I was really blowing. I could feel my blood running in my veins.

''I don't care, what you think Princess, because I get to have the man I love and if to do so, I get to be called that, it doesn't mater at all.'' She answers to me with a confidence that hurts so much. I knew the reason of her confidence, but I just didn't want to acknowledge it.

''No one is surprised you don't care, because if you would, you wouldn't behave like this. One either has the manners and the moral or doesn't and you my dear don't.'' I tried to keep my calm and show her that what she and Edward had didn't hurt me at all. I had been doing this since the beginning, but sometimes my masque would slip and would show the Isabella that suffered, because of their treason.

''You can pretend like you don't care, but I know you do. I know very well that it hurts that your husband loves me and not you, that he prefers spending his nights with me and not with you, that is my body he cherishes and not yours.''

''Tanya stop provoking me! I won't tolerate you anymore!'' My voice was getting significantly higher.

''You know Princess, I have to admit it. Firstly I was afraid of you. I thought you were a intelligent woman and would succeed to take Edward from me. I though you would do anything to win his love. I though you were a very astute woman, but thanks Got for me that isn't the case. You have done nothing, but push him away. You gave Edward to me on a silver plate and I can't thank you enough for that.''

I was almost crying. I could feel as my masque was falling. That masque of a strong woman I have been wearing since a long time, to show Edward that I didn't care. I didn't want to cry in front of her. I hate he so much. She was the reason of my unhappiness. She took my husband's love, without even giving me the smallest chance to win it.

''Get out of here Tanya. I don't want to see your face and don't you dare to speak to me again. Get-out!'' i screamed so loud in her face.

I see as she slowly turns around to leave, than she stops and turns back to me''I can be many things Princess and you can call me what you want, but there is something I want you to know. I don't nee to drink my self out, in order to forget my husband loves someone else.''

With that said I feel my tears running down me tears, because I know that is the truth. The only reason I partied so much was that I didn't want to stay here and face Edward and Tanya's happiness. Alcohol was a great way to forget everything and try to be happy.

In this condition I was I couldn't face the noble women so I headed to my rooms. I could feel my tears during the way. I kept my head down, because I didn't want someone to see me crying. Finally I arrived in my room and went to my bed and lied there. Here I could cry as much as I wanted. My rooms were the only place, where I would remove my masque and face my pain. But I was so tired crying. I seemed like it was the only thing I have done since coming here. Than I think of how can I forget everything that happened. I knew very well the answer.

Alcohol… I got-up and started to reach for a bottle of wine. After finding one on top of my writing-table a grab it and sit on the floor. I open the bottle and smell the wine. Just the aroma make me feel better. I raise the bottle to my lips and take a big sip. I feel as with every sip of wine my tears start to stop. I keep drinking till I feel quite dizzy and the light starts to disturb me. I wanted to go there and close the curtains, but I don't think can do that. Me feet seem so unsteady right now. And everything starts to spin.

I hear as my door opens, but I can't see who it is. Everything is so blurry. I try to open my eyes, but they seem so tired and I feel like sleeping. Suddenly I feel two strong arms grabbing me from floor and putting on the bed.

''Bella open you eyes.'' I feel his hand in my cheeks. Please Bella you can't sleep like this you are too drunk. I slowly open my eyes and see Jacob by my head.

''Jacob you are here. You came for me. ''

''Of course Princess.I will always be there for you. Why did you do this Bella? What happened to you? I thought we spoke this morning. Why did you drink again?''

''I drank because my life is horrible. My husband is cheating me. He doesn't have any feeling for me, except hate and distrust. And now I have to hear his lover throwing their relationship in my face.''

''Tanya! What happened with Tanya? Did you met her today? Did she upset you so much Bella? Tell me the truth?''

''Yes. She told me, how much they love each-other and what a failure of wife I am. That is true Jacob. I failed so badly. '' I was crying again and I hated that.

''You are not a failure Bella. Please don't think that. You are a great woman and if Edward doesn't want to see that, it is his problem.''

''You just say this things because I am your friend, but he truth is not like that.''

He puts his both hand in each side of me head and makes me face him'' You are wonderful. You are unique. You are the greatest girl I have ever met. You are smart, funny and extraordinary beautiful. Every man would want to be in Edward's place. What makes you wonderful is not the fact that you are a princess or that you have money, all the contrary, is your pure heart and your simplicity, that make you wonderful. Please don't ever doubt yourself. You have to know, who you are and what values you poses.''

It was so good hearing someone saying such nice things to me. It had been a long time since someone was showing love and appreciation to me. It felt so good. It was like home again. Home, loved, cherished and happy. I don't know why, but than I did something very stupid. I lean toward Jacob and press my lips to him. They were so warm and welcoming. He feels like home. But than I feel Jacob going rigid and moving away.

''This is not right Bella. We can't do this. You are drunk. Why don't you try to sleep and we speak when you wake-up.''

''Okay, I will sleep, but please stay till I fall asleep.'' I lie down on my bed and Jacob stays there seeing me sleep. I don't know how much time passes, but the bed moves and I feel some warm lips pressed to mine.

And than I hear ''Have a nice sleep my love.'' and l hear the door closing behind him.

* * *

**Here is the new chapter. **

**I am updating earlier because tomorrow I am going to Amsterdam and I don't know if I will have time or internet.**

**It is in you right to hate me right now. Ok threw me everything I am prepared. **

**-E**


	19. Chapter 19

As soon as Jacob left I hear the door opening again, but I am far too tired to see, who it is. I just want to sleep till this feeling of dizziness passes. I was very comfortable in my bed and almost sleeping, when some forceful hands grab me by my shoulders. I feel so bad and so tired, but this hands don't stop shaking me. Even in this state of dizziness, I open my eyes and see who it is. In fact is not a surprise. Who other can be so forceful and insensitive?

My husband Edward was hovering over me with an angry face.

''What was Jacob doing here?'' he asked to me. I tired to answer to him, but I didn't feel quite well. His voice was so loud and was giving me head-ache. He couldn't wait till I answered him and shakes me by my shoulders one more time'' You are going to answer me right now! What was he doing here, when you were sleeping?''

I didn't understand, why was he so angry. It is not the firs time Jacob comes to my rooms and neither the last. It has never been a problem. I knew I had to answer him or he would create ideas in his mind. which would be worse than, what really happened. But I was drunk and I couldn't speak very well and I didn't want Edward to see me like this.

'' Jacob, so you are angry about Jacob.'' I started giggling. That was so stupid and so dangerous right now. He was so angry already and I was not in the condition to give him an answer.

He seems to study me for a time and than speaks''Are you drunk Isabella?'' it was like he couldn't believe his own voice. I wanted to denny it, but that would have made it worse. It was like, I wasn't able to speak normally.

'' Answer me? Are you drunk in this early hour of day? In fact I should have thought that. Why would you be sleeping now, if you just woke three hours ago'' he was so angry and was screaming at me?

There was something different though; I didn't care at all. The alcohol made me brave. When he would scream at me before, I would get scared and start to cry, but right now I wasn't afraid of him. In stead of crying I felt like laughing. I tired to control myself, because that would open me so many problems. The last thing I want is Edward to think I am making fun of him.

'' No, I am not drunk.'' I answer him. I try to answer as short as I can, because I tended to forget the words of to prolongated the letter, when pronunciating a word.

''Isabella, don't lie to me! This room stinks like alcohol and you are barely coherent.''

''Well, I may have drunk before, but not so much. I am not drunk right now. I am just tired.''

''You are not drunk right now!'' he repeated to him self.

'' Isabella, what are you doing? Have you forgotten, who you are and what your duty is? Why are you behaving like this?''

'' What is the big deal? I just partied last night with my best friends. What is wrong with that? I also have the right to have some fun and enjoy my life and not just be here at the court all the time.''

''There is no problem, when this happens once or twice, but we both know my dear that this is not the case. You are partying every week and spending so much money. What has gotten into you? You were the perfect princess in the beginning and now you are someone totally different. Was it a role you played to make us believe you were a naive girl?''

I hated him so much sometimes. He could be a true bastard, when he wanted. '' It is true that lately I have been a lot with my friends, but that doesn't mean anything. I have been present on the court also taking care of everything. You can't accuse me of anything.'' I don't how true this was. I may haven't totally neglect my duties as a Princess, but I was true that my dedication had decreased significantly.

'' …And Edward, it is true I changed, because living with people like you changes every one. Why would I want to stay with a ''family,'' which still considers me an enemy and a husband, who cheats me openly? Well, I prefer spending more time with my friends, because they love and appreciate me. I don't think is very difficult to understand my behavior.''

'' Don't make the role of the victim Isabella. We have welcomed you in our home.''

'' What are you talking about? I am a part of this family. I am your wife, but no one trusts me. I am never part of the inner family reunions, because I am the enemy. The King is only cordial and you have been everything but welcoming. I am not happy here. I wish I could go home and forget everything. I could forget, that you don't love me. That you cheat me and disrespect me openly, by keeping your lover here. Sometimes I thinks this is just a bad nightmare and I will wake-up in my bed, surrounded by people who love me and my parents.''

'' I am sorry to disappoint you Princess, but this is the reality and you fave to accept it, even though you don't like it.''

'' It isn't that I don't like it, but you make it very difficult. Why are you doing this to me Edward? I just asked you respect, nothing more. I even accepted your lover, but you had to humiliate me in front of everyone. Do you know, how I feel when I see her?''

'' Isabella, we already spoke about this. Please don't make things more difficult that they already are.''

'' It is not me, who is making the things more difficult, but you. You kept her here, even though I asked you and even begged you to love her away from the palace.''

'' Isabella, that is not, why I am here. I am here, because I am worried for you. I have nothing against you parting, but this has gone out of the control. You can't go on like his. You carry my family's name and I can't permit you damaging it, just because you feel behaving like a little girl. You knew very well, what your role here is. You should be an example and not an embarrassment for my family.''

''I have done nothing to be ashamed of. It is very curious, that you are talking about embarrassing the family's name. I just want to know, where do you get the courage?''

''Can we not turn always there? Every time I try to speak with you, we end up talking about my relationship with Tanya.''

''Maybe because it the source of our problems. Have you never thought about it?''

''I don't care, what is the source of the problem, I just want it solved!'' he screamed at me. His face was red with anger.

''That is a smart answer, isn't it? I don't care about anything, I just want the problem solved. Who is the kid right now? This are not the words of a future King. Why don't you enlighten me,how to solve a problem, whit out'' going to the bottom of it?''

''Of course there is a solution, my dear Isabella. You are not allowed anymore to party. If you can't control yourself than I will have to do it for you,'' he said to me.

''You can't decide about me. If your whore makes you happy, than my friends make me. I am doing nothing worse than you. If you get to have her, than why can't I keep partying?''

''Enough with mentioning Tanya!''

''Than you enough with deciding for me! You don't get to order me around like a little girl.''

''Can we stop fighting Isabella? I don't want to fight with you. I was just worried for you. Why do you take everything bad?''

''I thank you for your worries Edward. I like the thought that you worry for me, but I can't believe it. The reason we fight is a simple one; you don'y suggest, you order Edward. Everything has be like you want. You don't care what the other think, al long as you get, what you want. I want give that to you.''

''I am sorry you don't believe me, but I do worry for you. You are my wife and everything related to you affects me also. You know that very well.''

''Yes, I know. If that is everything you had to say, than you can leave right now.''

''No Isabella, that is not everything I had to say. You haven't answered my first question. What was Jacob doing here?'' he asked me? I thought he had forgot it. I didn't want to talk about Jacob right now. I felt like Edward would discover that I kissed him. I tired to control myself. There was nothing to worry. He didn't know anything.

''He came to talk with me. Apparently I was asleep so he left. What is here to question?'' I tried to keep my voice as cool as possible. I knew there was no way Edward knew something, but still my conscience was not clean and I could feel it.

''Well, I don't like him coming in your rooms at all times of the day.''

''At all times of the day! What are you talking about? It is midday Edward and he can come every time he wants in my rooms. He is my friend and is welcomed here.''

''He is you chancellor, but this doesn't mean he has to spend the entire day in your rooms,'' he was angry again. I didn't understand this man. He had serious problems with anger management.

''I wait my guest wherever I want. I don't need your permission. I have never questioned you anything related to your guest.'' I tried to reason with him, even though it seemed difficult.

''I don't want him in your rooms all the time. When he is here one of your Lady-in waiting should be present also.'' He said with an authoritative voice. I hated we he ordered me around.

''No. I don't accept this. You have no right to decide this. I will never accept it.'' I turned back and tired to leave him, but he grabbed my arm ''Stop behaving like a child. Why won't you accept having an other person here, when Jacob visits you?''

''Because it invades my privacy. Why are you afraid of Jacob and me being alone? Their won't happen nothing worse than what between you and Tanya goes on.''

''Oh Isabella, I am not jalousie. Don't worry about it, because you wouldn't be stupid enough to do that. If something like that comes ever to happen, I don't respond for my actions. We don't want other people to suffer the consequences of your acts, do we?'' I hated his arrogance so much. I hated that he could threat me all the time.

''There is nothing between me and Jacob and it will never be, but I can't find on other explanation to your strange request.''

''You don't have to understand my request, you just have to obey it, my dear.'' In moments like this, I wished I could slap him and whip that stupid smile from his face, but that was not passible.

''I won't! I will never do it!'' I answered stubbornly.

''Why are you so against it?''

''Why are you so obsessed with it? He is my friend and he can come here when he wants. ''

''I don't want to fight with you. If you want to keep meeting him like till now, you can go on, but if I see a single thing I don't like, you will answer for it. Now coming to the most important thing; I don't want to hear that you have drunk again. This is the last time and will be never repeated. You will go on with your duties on the court and stop behaving like a little girl.''

I didn't even answer him. He was always like that. He liked to order and did that , whenever he could. As he comes near the door he pauses and says to me '' I am really sorry our marriage has come to this point and my wife has turned into this person, I don't know. You can't go on like this Isabella. I am sorry to see, that the young girl I married has changed so much and I don't like the changes at all.''

I felt as I would cry again, but I was strong enough to compose myself''If you said everything you can leave right now. And Edward, it isn't a surprise to any one in this kingdom than that you don't like me, so this is old news. Now if you would leave, because I want to be left alone.''

I saw the door closing behind him. I seated in my sofa and starred the ground. I don't thing there were tears left on me. This situation was just too desperate, but I will find a way out of it. There is always a way out…

* * *

**I know that I should update on Friday, but right now I am in a very boring chemistry hour. I have heard so strange question. I swear I am questioning myself, how is posible they were accepted in the university. LOL**

**Tell me what you think about this chapter. Maybe you can make this two hours better.**

**I know I have said it many times, but I really need a beta. Please if there is someone who really likes this story, I would live it if someone would help me.**

**-E**


	20. Chapter 20

I was seating in front of the mirror as my hand-maids prepared my hair. They were always so attentive with me and tried to please me with everything. I felt quite good having such a nice personnel. At least here I got lucky. It is not that they had the chance to be mean or disrespectful to me, because of their position, but I could see it in their eyes that they genuinely preoccupied for me.

I have been preparing the entire afternoon for the ball tonight. It was a celebration held in honor of King Carlisle parents, even tough they were long dead. Apparently this was a tradition and a very important ball.

Almost everyone was coming, but my parents not. It's not that they weren't invited, but they had something else and they couldn't come. I couldn't believe my parents did that. I missed them so much and so thrilled I would see them. This was a great opportunity to see them and they had something better to do. I was more than angry, when Jacob informed me. I couldn't believe it. I felt betrayed from my own parents. What could be more important than seeing me? I could't imagine anything, that would stop them from coming.

I was not waiting forward to this dinner. The only reason I was happy in the beginning was the arrival of my parents, but now that was not going to happen. This ball wouldn't not be different from the other ones. Same people, dressed int he same way, talking about the same things. The only good thing is that my friends were going to be there. I don't know, what I would do without them.

As every other ball it were King Carlisle and Queen Esme that opened it by dancing together and just after them Edward and I. He was always so cordial to me in public one would think he was the best husband in the world, but the truth was quite different. As we were dancing I saw Tanya following us with a glare in her face. Her displeasure was written all over her face. I just couldn't contain my happiness and start laughing. Edward looked at me like a had a second head.

"You know, you lover is not pleased that we are dancing together. I swear if looks could kill I wold be dead right now.'' I said to him laughing. I found her jealousy entertaining. This night may not be so boring after all.

"Bella, I don't know, what you are talking about. I am sure you must have misinterpreted her." He answered. Of course he would defend her. I wasn't neither surprised not angry. I was just trying to fund a way to amuse myself tonight and to distract me form thinking of Jacob. I knew very well, what had occurred between us. I have been avoiding him totally, because I didn't know how to explain my actions. Did I want to have something with Jacob or not? Was I just using him to get back at Edward, or did I have feelings for him? I was so confused right now. I didn't want to talking with him, without being sure first, because I knew very well how he felt about me. Tonight I couldn't escape him though. He was here at the ball and he was seeing Edward and me dancing with a sandiness in his eyes.

''Common Edward I am not blaming you. I am just informing you that your whore is jealous and angry with you. You may be stuck on the floor tonight, without your happy treatment and dose of the charming Tanya." He was so surprised and his face was priceless.

" Don't make that face Edward. I am just worried for you. What a good wife I am!" I added more just for my pleasure and his surprise.

" Isabella, I appreciate your worry, but I assure you with won't be the case." He thought he was going to hurt me with that. Well, not anymore.

" I think you are right. Look, we also can agree on something!" I said to him, but before he could talk I said'' But not for the same reasons you think. She will welcome you in her bed, because she is a whore and because she wants all the money and status she gets by being your whore."

" Can you stop calling het that?!" he said to me, with a obvious disapproval of degrading term I was using for his lover.

" Why on the earth would I do that. I was raised with sane values and one of them is honesty. I always call things by their name, even though some may not like it. I have some for you also, but I am sure you wouldn't approve of them." I said to him, while laughing. I don't know, but I fund this situation so funny.

" Are you saying in my face that you offend me behind my back." He sad quite surprised with my earnest confession.

" If you put it that way, I believe I am." I was seeing him directly in they eyes and challenging him.

" My mother always says that if two persons choose to stay together is because they share the same values. So you and Tanya are pretty much the same in my eyes; repugnant and not worthy of respect.

" I advice you to stop right now. You are passing the limit and that is not wise." He was getting angry, but why should I care. How many times did I get angry with him? Too many to count.

" Are we talking about wise things Edward? Because cheating your wife, disrespecting her in her own house and destroying the family's name aren't either. So once in your life stop being hypocrite."

" You haven't drunk any alcohol, have you?" But I didn't answer to him.

" Please tell me the truth. You didn't drink any thing. This is an important ball and I don't want you to do something stupid." He was almost pleading me with his eyes.

" What can I do, that it would be so stupid or bad? Is not that I can find a lover and cheat you openly like you do it every day in my face."

I feel as his arms tighten around my arms. " Isabella, I don't want you ever to repeat something like that."

" I don't like you cheating me either, but I don't have any other choice, so you will listen to me, when I say it. I don't care if you want or not."

" Since you can have a lover, why can't I?" I said to him.

" One, because is disrespectful to me and second, because you will be the mother of my heirs. I want to be sure that my children are really mine."

" So there wouldn't be any problem if I have a lover after I give you a son?" I was provoking him. I knew very well his answer, but I could play with his pride.

" Isabella, you won't have a lover now or never. You are my wife and mine only. I swear to God, that if I ever come to hear something like that,you don't even want to imagine the consequences."

" Please, stop with the menacing! If someone heard you, he would thing you are in love with me. Can I make you a question?" He looked surprise but nodded.

" What is going to happen with Tanya? You know she is a woman and she will want to have kids and a family. What are you going to do, when her maternal side comes?"

He didn't answer to me, but his face gave everything away. He was going to be the father of her kids. I could see some guilt in his face, but I didn't care at all. I was so angry and repulsed by this situation.

" Oh no Edward! You don't dare. I won't ever forgive you if you father some else's child. You will be as good as dead for me." With that said I left him there in the middle of the room.

I left the room, but I wasn't feeling good. I felt like I couldn't breath and I was very hot. Suddenly I had problems breathing and I had started to sweat so badly. I had no idea, what was happening with my body. My hands were trembling very badly. I needed to control myself. What would the people think if they saw me like this. In this moment on of the servants passes with a tray with alcohol. I stopped him and took a glass. I knew, that I would feel immediately better. I dried the glass entirely in front of the servant-boy and took an other one. I could see the surprise in his face, but I didn't care. I needed to stop thinking, what had Edward said.

I had thought some many times about our children. I don't know hoy many nights I dreamt about them. They were always so pretty and happy. In my dreams they were hugging me and Edward and we were a happy family together. This dreams were, what kept me going with this marriage. I kept dreaming and hoping that one day Edward and I would be like that. Our children were so pretty and innocent. Every time I dreamt about them they were grinning. I could't imagine that Tanya's children would be my children's' brothers and sisters. I couldn't accept that her children would share the same blood as mine. Just the thought made me crazy. I didn't want me children's to be related with anything coming from her. I hated her so much. I don't know, what I could do to her right now.

My trebling had stopped and I was feeling better. I mean my body was feeling better, because my soul was hurt deeply. That is, why I loved alcohol so much. It made you forget everything. Lately this was the only thing I wanted. To forget…

To forget the loneliness...

To forget the treason...

To forget the disrespect...

To forget everything…

It had been a bit since I let the ball and I had to go back. A long absence form me wouldn't be seen good and I didn't want anymore problems with Edward. As I started to move, I started to feel a bit dizzy. I couldn't see the things very clearly and the music seemed much more loud than normal. I felt like I was going to feel from any moment to the other. I keep going till I find myself inside the hall. There are so many people here and I bump with many of them as I made my way back. They spoke to me, but I couldn't even answer to them. I couldn't hear anything! I keep walking till I am in the middle of the dancing floor. The couples are dancing around making me even more dizzy. I turn around and see Edward and Tanya laughing with each-other. I see as she touches his arm. Than the imagine of my children appears before my eyes. They are grabbing Edward arms and urging him to do something. He is laughing at them and asking help from me, to escape the little monsters. I feel as my legs fail to hold my body standing, but I can't even talk. The image of my children is in front of me till I hit the cold floor and everything blacks-out.

After some time I open my eyes and I find myself on my bed. My eyes hurt so much and my head also. As soon as I start moving I hear Edward's voice" Isabella are you okay? How do you feel?"

I felt so bad I couldn't even answer him.

" You have to answer me. I need to know, how hard you hit the floor with your head?" he looked so concerned.

" Quite hart I would say. I have a terrible head-ache." I answered to him.

" You have a head-ache because you are drunk, not because you hit the food!" Oh God, he was angry right now. I couldn't believe, how fast his mood would change.

" I can't believe you drank tonight. I told you! I told you not to do something stupid and look what you do! I can't believe it Isabella." He kept talking so much and complaining about everything.

" Look, I have a head-ache and I would preferred to be left alone. You are making it worse with your complains."

I expected him to get angry but no. " What do you feel? Tell me please? I want to know if it is just the alcohol or some problem because you hit the floor hard?"

" I don't know Edward. I feel dizzy and I can't even open my eyes. I feel nauseas also." I see as he grabs a sink and brings it my the bed.

I trie to get-up in order to remove my dress, because it was quite uncomfortable and I wanted to sleep. As soon as I am standing a feeling of nausea hits me and I felt on the floor throwing-up. I hear as Edward comes by my side and pushes my hair out of the way. I feel better right now. I slowly got-up with Edward's help. He sits me on the bed and removes the sink, because I couldn't handle the smell.

'' Edward can you help me with something please?"

" Yes, what it is?"

" I would like to remove my dress and put my night-gown on, but I don't want to call my hand maids. I don't want them to see me like this. You know, I could do it myself, but I don't think I am capable right now to do it. I still feel dizzy."

He comes to the bed and opens the back of my dress. I hear as he tries to open the lace ribbons. He opens the dress totally till the end of my back and I feel the cold air hitting me. I raise my hands and remove my pins form my hair, but there are so many of them. I get frustrated and Edward starts to do that also. He removes the ones in the back of my head than he leaves the bed and comes in front of me. The works on my hair there standing, while I sit on the edge of the bed. He removes all my pins and my hair fall freely on my shoulders. I feel his fingers though my hairs and he puts both hands in each side of my head and force me to see him. Our eyes meet and I like what I see. He is looking in a weird way to me. It is like he is seeing me for the first time.

" Do you need something else?" His voice was so smooth and his hands were so comforting in my cheeks.

" It would be great if you helped me remove it totally. I don't trust myself tonight." I said to him.

" Do yo think you can stand a bit?" he asked and I nodded to him.

He helps me stand and removes me dress, till it falls on the floor. He helps me as a step away from it. I was totally naked except my breaches. Edward had removed me corset together with the dress and my breast were totally on display. I put my arm around them and hear Edward laughing. I bow down to remove my buts, but an other wave of nausea hits me.

" Do yo think you can help me with my boots also?"

" I can help you with one condition. You have to remove your hand from your breasts." I was so surprised with his request, but more with his playful tone.

" Don't look to me like that Isabella. I don't like you being ashamed of me."

He comes in front of me, grabs my hand and slowly removes it from my breasts. His eyes follow the motion of my arm. He looks at my chest for a bit and than at my face. I know very well that I am totally red right now. He lowers on his knees between my opened legs and grabs one foot. He frees the lace from all the holes and removes the boot from my foot. Than he grabs my other one and does the same thing. All this time I was holing so tightly on the sheets of the bed. I hadn't even noticed it, when Edward's hands come atop mine and massage them. I let go of the sheets and stay uncomfortably there in front of him. He goes to the end of the room and retrieves my night-gown. I get-up and raise my hands and Edward helps me with it. I feel as the fabric covers my body from his eyes. I stay there in front of him, just looking his eyes. He grabs a lock of my hair and pushes it away form my face. Than he comes near me and kisses my forehead.

" Good night, Isabella. I think you should sleep right now." I feel bad as I hear this words. I wanted him to be here with me.

"You know Edward, you can be very nice, when you want to be. You were almost the perfect husband tonight with me." I said to him.

I thought he would leave, but he turned and answers " What would I need to do to be the perfect one?"

" Well, to be the perfect husband you would have to stay with me tonight. I don't know, maybe I feel bad in the middle of the night." I answer to him laughing.

" Since I am being all nice tonight, I think I can stay with you." I couldn't believe he said it. He was going to stay with me. For the first time in our marriage he was going to spend the night with me in our bed.

He goes to the other side of the bed and removes his clothes quickly and comes to bed. He lies on the pillow and than turns to me. His hand comes to me check and he moves his thumb in circles helping me relax.

" Thank you!" I whisper to him before I my sleep takes me.

The last thing I felt was his strong arm pulling my body next to his and his hand to my hair. Even in my state of unconsciousness I was happy...

* * *

**Well here is chapter 20.**

**I totally destroyed my updating schedule, but since you guys ****surprised me with your reviews I thought you deserved a small trait from me.**

**Thank you very much for reading this story. You push me everyday to write more. **

**Please tell me what you think. It is very important to me. I know she drank again, but this is her last time. I promise you.**

**-E**


	21. Chapter 21

I woke-up as the first sun rays came into the room. I opened my eyes and and immediately felt a warm body next to mine. Immediately came to my mind everything that happened last night.

I remembered everything I did. I couldn't believe myself. I can't believe I drank last night, but that was the signal that I had lost control of that and something like last-night can' t be repeated anymore. I can't endanger myself like that. What worried me more was the fact that I had drunken not that I fainted because now everyone may be thinking I am pregnant or just that I wasn't feeling good. They would never guess the true reason behind my fainting. At least that was a problem less I had to deal with.

There was an other problem in my bad and a big one: Edward. What had happened last-night was not on my plans. I had practically begged him to stay with me. That was just unacceptable. I don't have to beg to anyone for company and less to my husband. I know very well because I did it, but anyway that doesn't make it any better. It is true that alcohol made me brave -or in this case too stupid- but I should never have accepted his company after what he said to me.

He is the reason I drank last-night. I was perfectly fine till he told me that he would father her children. I don't know how much truth was on his words since entering on that mans head is quite difficult, but he had said the words.

I can't tolerate so much. Well I would never accept that. I know very well that her children would be illegitimate and they would have no claim to the throne, but I don't want my children to be related with an other woman's children. Anyway I know very well what kind of women Tanya is and I would never feel sure know she is living in the same house as my kids. Her children may be illegitimate but nether the less Edward children. Her power over Edward would increase way too much and I couldn't allow that to happen.

There was just a solution and that was getting her out of here and out of Edward's life. I don't know if there is a redemption to our marriage, but at least I had to assure my position here and she was a big threat. It had passed to my mind many times to banish her from the court, but that wouldn't be a solution. Edward could buy her an apartment and visit her there or even worse start spending more and more of his time with her outside the court. At least here I could see what was happening and be aware of everything.

As soon as a make a move to leave the bed a feel his arm around me tighten. I though he was sleeping, but apparently I was wrong. Anyway I didn't want to spend the entire day lying on the bed. At least not after a night like last night. I had to wake-up and start doing things better. With this I grab his hand a force his arm to open but he starts complaining and tightens is more around me. Since it seems that I can't leave this bed I turn around at look at him.

His eyes are opened and are looking at me.

"You know I have to wake-up, so I would be great if you would let me move." I said to him.

" Well good morning to you too, wife!" he answers to me with a stupid smile.

"Common Edward I don't have time to play this silly games right now."

I expected him to say something but he doesn't speak at all. He just looks at me directly I the eyes making this situation even more difficult.

" Thanks to you I made myself a ridicule so I don't think I can stay the entire day on the bed doing nothing."

" You know very well that the last night occurrence will not be seen bad. They all want an heir so badly so I am sure now are the rumors spreading free that you are pregnant. That is better than people thinking you were drunk last-night, isn't it?"

" Look I won't blame you for getting drunk, because I am old enough to take responsibility of my actions. I know very well that I shouldn't have done that and that this will be never repeated, but I won't forget either the reason that pushed me to drink. So please stop making the role of the atentive husband, because that shipped has sail long time ago."

" Why are you so angry with me? I don't understand your behavior at all. Last-night you were perfectly fine with the fact of having me here." He looked quite displeased with my request.

" Well last night as you know I was drunk and I couldn't think properly. I wasn't feeling good and I wanted to have someone there." What I told him was the truth. I had come to fell quite lonely. Normally if I was sick my mother would stay with me to make sure I was okay, even though we had many capable hand-maids who could do that.

We are both seated in my bed in front of each-other. It is quite surreal. I have dreamed many times we two together talking about our relationship like a married couple, but that never happened. He grabs one of my hands that is resting on my lap and brings it near to him. He keeps looking at my hand and caressing him. It was quite weird because I was expecting him to talk, but he kept avoiding eye contact with me.

Suddenly he raises his eyes and speaks " I know that I have done so many mistakes. There are not small but big ones. I have behaved in a horrendous way toward you. I was blinded by my hate toward you father and I couldn't see I was harming you so badly. But you have to know that I didn't do it on purpose."

I simply can't believe him and apparently he could see that in my face. " Please don't make that face Isabella. It is very important to me that you understand I didn't want to hurt you. Please it is the truth, you have to believe me." He was pleading me with his eyes, but I simply couldn't believe him. There was so much pain, humiliation but mire disillusion. He had made me believe that I would never be happy. He had taken my dreams away. He had shattered every dream I had when I came here. How can he ask me to believe him that he didn't want to hurt me?

"Look Edward I just…" I can't even finish my sentence because Edward starts talking.

" shshhh Please Bella. Please let me talk. Let me tell you everything and than you decide. Please!" His eyes were piercing me and I just couldn't deny anything to them. I had never talk like this with Edward. I don't just mean the fact that he is asking me forgiveness. We had never properly communicated with each-other and that has been one of the greatest problems of our marriage. There was simply no communication.

"Okay Edward you can speak. I will listen to you, but I quite frankly don't know what you are trying to achieve."

" I just need one opportunity for you to listen to me. That is all I ask form you Isabella." He says to me. He stops talking and seems to gather his thoughts. His mouth opens and closes many times before he starts to speak.

" Well Isabella, I think that I should start to explain the reason why I treated you this way. Not that there is a excusable reason, but anyway I want to try it." There is again a big pause before he starts speaking.

" I was very angry with my father when he announced that I had to marry you. I remember very clearly that day. Many angry words were exchanged between my father and I. I hated you so much…"

As soon as hear his I try to retrieve my hand from his grab, but he pulls it tighter with a pleading face.

" I know it sounds stupid, because I didn't even know you, but you were King Charlie's daughter and that made you my enemy. I don't know if you remember, but you asked me why I hated your father so much. You told me that there war was not just your fathers fault, that there are always two sides on a war and both of them are guilty. Do you remember that Isabella?" He asks me. I did remember that night clearly. I was so angry with him and with his absurd behavior. He couldn't blame my father for everything. I knew that there was more to his hate for my father, but he never told me. I remember asking him why he hated so much my father and his answer was that he was not ready to answer that question.

" There is a reason why I hate your father so much. As you may have noticed my whole family considered your family the enemy, but anyway they were more accepting that I was. Bella this war has costed me a lot." His voice starts trembling as he will start to cry. He lowers his head and starts to draw patterns in my hand. I don't know what to say. I think he doesn't want me to see him crying that's why he doesn't want me to see his face. I just don't know what to do. I just know that i want to know, why on earth would he hate so much my father? What happened that made him so cold and why keeps everyone saying that his war costed Edward a lot? I just wanted to know the reason that took my happiness away, the reason that forced my live this months of hell.

Thanks to God Edward raises his head and I can see his eyes are all reed. " When I was three years old I meet my best friend." He closes his eyes and a smile appears on his face.

After a while he starts talking again " His name was Masen and he was the same age as I. We practically grew-up together. He was a wonderful person. We were so different form each-other, but still we couldn't be apart. I was always picking fights and arguing, but he was so calm and forgiving. Even when we were young and would fight he was so mature and pace full. I never met someone like him. He tried to help everyone with his gentle soul and open mind. He wanted to be a poet and his mind was always ahead of mine. He hate the war and found it stupid that people were dying form a conflict that had started years ago and was not solved just because two kings didn't accept to seat and talk to each-other." His friend really looked wonderful person, but I wonder why I never met him.

" Last year I was really stressed, because of the war and the responsibilities I had as a Crown-Prince. One day we met and he starts talking about a project for orphan children. He wanted them to learn to read and write. In the time I was not thinking very clearly and started fighting with him. I thought that the war was our principal duty and all the rest came behind. I was angry that he was doing what at the time I thought was a secondary thing, in stead of concentrating on the war. We fought very bad and I said to him that he had left me alone. While I was fighting he was here wiring poems and doing nothing. I didn't want to, I swear Isabella. I didn't think he was a bad friend. I loved him as my brother or even more, because he totally understood me and my difficult personality. I was just stressed because the day after I had to go to war. I didn't meant to tell him that I was ashamed of him being my friend. I swear to God I didn't. I didn't think that. He was an angel and I was lucky he even considered being my friend, but the ruth is that I told him he was a coward that was hiding form the war, while writing his stupid thing and dreaming of a stupid project." This time a tear escapes form his eyes and I hear what I have been dreading form the beginning of this story.

" Tomorrow I head to war without meeting him. I thought he was angry with me, because of what I told to him. Just some hours after we left there was an attack. It was not a dangerous one for skilled fighters, but for normal people would be fatal. I was very happy that i the attack I hadn't lost many people why I see many soldiers in a circle. I was surprised and went there. I won't ever forget that moment in my life Isabella. Masen was there lying on the ground and blood was everywhere. I just couldn't believe my eyes. He was supposed to be home safe. What was he doing here? I would never allow him to come to war. He wan't fitted for it and I knew it very well. As soon as he sees me he start to talk even though he is bleeding. I aced him why was he there and do you know the answer.? He didn't want to disappoint me. He felt bad he had left me alone fighting. He told me he preferred dying by my side than living when I was disappointed. But I wasn't I loved him? How could someone feel something other than honor of being his friend. I was just angry. I didn't know what I said, but I didn't meant ti. I didn't meant it, I didn't…"

Oh my God. His friend was killed in the war. I felt so bad and I could see clearly his pain.

" He died because of me. He died because I pushed him to come to war. He died because he tired to make me proud. Like I wasn't already of him. Only God knows how much he meant to me. He was my brother, my friend , my confidant and the person who made me a better person. I couldn't acepet that I was responsible for his death. I just couldn't… That was too much. I blamed the war and your father. I just needed to blame someone or I would go crazy with that feeling of guilty. I said it time after time that it was your father fault for his death. After some time my brain started to believe it, because I needed badly to remove that guilt that was suffocating. My hate became so big that blinded me and turned me into this cold man."

I understood very well the his pain for his best friend death, but that was not enough. That just couldn't justify all the pain and humiliation he made me feel…

* * *

**Well, what do yo think about it? I really need to know your ****opinion.**

**I split this into two parts because it would be very big. **

**Thank you very much of your reviews. I was so touched by you guys. I still can't believe that so many people read this story. It is wonderful and sometimes it brings me to tears what I see how passionate some of you are. I can't never say thank you enough.**

**-E**


	22. Chapter 22

It would have been a lie to say that I wasn't touched by his story and the pain he seems to carry with him, but to be truth with myself I couldn't find it in myself to forgive him or even to understand his behavior. I didn't deserve the way he treated me. The war wasn't my fault and his friends death even less. I had never had a voice in the decisions my father took- like I didn't when he decided me to marry Edward. He was the King and his word was an order, even though I was his daughter.

When my father informed me of his decision I was all but happy. I was going to marry a man I had hated my entire life. I wasn't exactly expecting a love marriage, but at least I hopped to marry someone, who respected me and my family. I haver thought I would be treated like this in my own home. I knew that maybe I wouldn't have Edward's love, but at least I would have his respect, because I was his wife. I had hoped that maybe after sometime he would be able to see past my family and appreciate me for who I am and not hate me for things I didn't have any thing to do with.

The truth is that I didn't get neither his love nor his respect. I don't know how much I am guilty of this. I know I should have been stronger, but everything came so fast crashing on me and I was unprepared. I was unprepared to be hated so much by people, who called themselves my family. I know very well that in my way I did way to many mistakes and I don't know if my young age can excuse all of them. In the end I wasn't just any girl, I was a princess and younger or older I had a duty to fulfill. Somehow I should have been prepared for what was coming, but no one would have though that I was going to marry Edward one day. I at least not .

How could I believe him that he didn't mean to hurt me? How could I believe that he wasn't aware of the pain he was inflicting on me? He has hurt me time after time without caring at all. He refused every single chance I offered him, hurting me deeply. Why should I accept his forgiveness so easily? I didn't even know if I could do it and live with myself. If I was to hear my mother I would be jumping at every small glimpse of hope from Edward. Even though he has disappointed me repeatedly I was to forgive him immediately and be good wife. I don't even know how many times has she begged to me to try to fix my relationship with Edward. It was like she couldn't understand that I also had a personality and couldn't humiliate myself like that. I had done it in the beginning and he had pushed my away like a was no one and not his wife. I had tried time after time to make our marriage work, but alway found the same behavior form him; one of indifference and arrogance.

Like it wasn't enough his disinters in our marriage, he slapped in me face his lover. He had no mercy on my so, why should I have? I knew that Kings and Princes had lovers. That wasn't new to me, but I had never imagined was that he wouldn't even try to make our marriage to work, just to be able to be with his lover. He never gave the chance this marriage to work. I mean he was with Tanya in the first week of our marriage. He didn't eve give our marriage one week…

Having to face Tanya here in the four has been the most difficult thing I have done in my life. Every time I saw her, I felt as my blood would boil. I hated that she had taken away my chance of being happy. I hated her air of arrogance and her repeated disrespect toward me. I don't even know how many time did I want to banish her from the court, but my mother had stopped me. She alway told me I was better to have her nearer. If I was to send her away Edward would buy her something and than they could be together. She always told me that it was better to have the every nearer. The true reason, why I didn't banish her from the court is that I was afraid that Edward would protect her. Why would I do than? I was terrified to take my words back, because Edward may order me to do the end he was the one who could deicide. I was scarred of humiliating myself like that and pretended that I didn't care at all that he was cheating me. I cared and a lot. That is why I can't accept his forgiveness.

"Isabella, what are yo thinking? You haven't said a word in almost an hour?" Edward asked me. There was a sadness in his face and I could see trace of uncertainty.

"I was thinking about us, about our relationship." There was a sadness in my voice also. I had been almost a year married to Edward and our relationship hadn't progressed at all. I just understood that I had failed badly at my duty and that hurts a lot.

"What about it?" He looked genuinely curious. Quite frankly I didn't know, if I should answer him or not. What could I tell him anyway. I was thinking on how you made me unhappy and cheated on me repeatedly with you whore.

"It is not many moments we share together, you know. We either fought together or you came her and claimed my body in order to have your heir. It is not like you gave us the chance to create beautiful memories." I didn't say that to hurt tim. In fact it was more a reflection that I didn't share any pretty moments with my husband and that made me sad. I had been his wife for many months and I couldn't find some special moments we had shared together.

"I am really sorry for this Isabella. I know very well that I am the one to blame for this situation." I didn't want to be cynical, but it was the truth. The was the reason our marriage never got the chance to work. Why should I say no, just for his sake?

"Well, you are. It is time you accept ti." I wasn't touched by the pain displayed on his face as I said that. What did he want me to do? To be all nice to him after he made my life a living hell for months.

"Look I this is time we stop playing the game of words and talk about what is really important. I heard your story and I am really sorry for your friends death. I don't see how my father is guilty about it or how could that push you to hate me so much. I don't think there is a justification for what you did to me. You hurt me deliberately without caring at all. There would have been a time, I would have been extremely happy for you to open yourself to me and tell me your joys and fears or even what you told me about your friend, but now its is late. I don't want to say his death is your fault, because it isn't, but my father is the one that less guilty is."

"I know Isabella. I couldn't bear the death of my friend and it was much worse, because it was my fault. I thought I was going crazy with the all the pain and regret I was carrying with me. I needed one justification, I just needed to blame someone for his death. The truth was too horrible, to accept. I blamed your father for his death, because I couldn't accept it, that it was my fault. Do you know Isabella that the brain is a strange thing? He can play games with you. After some time I was convinced it was your fathers fault. I know it doesn't make any sense to you, but it is the truth. Deep down I knew it that it wasn't like that, but my sense of guilt would kill me and I think this was my way of surviving. I needed time to cope with what I had done, but does my father do? He arranges a marriage between us. It was just too soon and I still was grieving him."

He couldn't blame me for the timing of our marriage. I hadn't chosen it. It was all his father's doing. He was the one that decided that we two had to marry as soon as possible. He was the one that had the power since he and won the war. Certainly it wasn't my father. If it depended on my father I would have never married him. I knew very well, that my father didn't have an other solution. " You can't give me the timing of our marriage as a justification. It was your father who decided everything. If you didn't agree with it, you should have talked with your father. What was the point of brining me here? Was it just to make me suffer? Was it because you had the power and you could achieve your revenge to my father. I don't believe you did't have a say in our marriage. Why did you consent it?" I was so angry with him.

" It is true, I did have a say in it. My father talked to me before he decided it. In the beginning I thought it was a crazy idea. I wanted to say no to my father, but he was sure that it was the only way to put a stop on this war forever. I had just lost me best friend and the last thing in my mind was marriage, but I didn't want to disappoint my father. I had disappointed so many people. I had disappointed him…" He pauses and his eyes seems lost. I knew he was thinking on his best friend.

He raises his eyes and looks directly at me" You are wrong, I didn't marry you to make you suffer. I thought I could do it. I though that I was strong enough to forget, whose daughter you are. You were going to be my wife and that was the most important thing, but it wasn't like that. Every time we were together I would remember him. It seemed like I was betraying him. There was days I would forget him and the burden I carried with me, but at the moment you were there, everything came back. I know that it wasn't you fault, but this is the truth. You were a constant remember that my friend was not living." He seemed embarrassed of his confession.

" I had nothing to do with your friends death. I won't accept it. How can you link my presence with his death? That just doesn't make any sense at all." I don't now. Was he trying to make-up excuses in order to explain his horrendous behavior toward me. There wan't any acceptable excuse, that's why he was making-up things.

" I know that it doesn't make any sense, but is the truth. Every time I was with you I would remember him. I didn't want to but it happened. Ever time I lied with you he would come in my mind. That is the reason I couldn't stay with you in bed. I felt like I was suffocating. I hated it that you brought him to my mind, even though I was trying to move on so hard."

" You are trying to say to me, that you refused to stay with me all this nights, because of your dead friend? Please Edward you have to find better excuses, because this seems so cheap. It was okay to have sex with me, but not to stay or sleep in the same bed as I. Doesn't it seem like a double standard to you?"

" I had a duty to fulfill. You know that very well. Everyone expects us to have a heir. How would we have a child if I didn't have sex with you?" I felt as my heart stopped to beat for a second upon hearing him. I knew very well that he never wanted me. The only reason he came to my bed, was to produce a heir. Even though I knew it, it hurt to hear it from his lips.

" So that is only reason you came to my bed? Just to get your heir? Didn't I mean anything to you? Was I just a body you had to use?" I feel as my tear form in my eyes. I hated that I had become so emotional lately. Why was I crying, when I knew it. Why was I so angry?

" In the beginning, yes. You know under which circumstances our marriage was made. I wan not in love with you. I came to you the first night and all other night, because you were my wife. I know that it sounds bad, but I am trying to be honest to you. I don't want there to be lies between us. I feel like there is a big abysm with things we haven't said to each-other and that is one of the reason our marriage didn't work."

It seemed like I couldn't control my self lately. I would get angry easily and very emotional. I wanted to keep my control in check, but it seemed that it wasn't possible " The only reason our marriage didn't work is because you are a heartless person, who cheats his wife openly in the first week of the marriage." It seemed like I wan't the only one surprised by my own outburst. His eyes were coming our of their sockets. He looked like he couldn't believe what he was listening.

But I wasn't over. I had much more to say" The only reason our marriage didn't work is that you didn't have time for it. Your time was dedicated to your whore. There was never time for me. Tell my one time you came to me in order to fix our marriage?" He seemed to think about it, but found nothing, because there was nothing to find. He had never done anything to save our marriage.

" You don't need to think so hard, because the truth is very easy. You never cared for me. You never cared for our marriage." I felt better saying this to him. It was like I had removed something form my chest. The truth was very sad, but I had to accept it. I had since long time accepted it.

" I am sorr…

" STOP with the I am sorry! I am tired of hearing it. You are sorry of everything thing. Well, I don't believe it. If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done ti. If you were sorry you wouldn't treat me like dirt, but you would have given me at least your respect."

" You may be tired of hearing it but I have to say it, because I am sorry. I have down so many mistakes and I regret them deeply, but regret doesn't solve anything. I wished I had behaved differently with you. I wish I had been a better husband to you. I wished I hadn't been so blind by my hate and I wished I hadn't hurt you so much."

" You hurt more that you can ever think it, by cheating on me with Tanya. Why did you do it? Why didn't you give me time to win your heart? Why did you have to push me aside like that?" I hated the week woman I sounded. I meant to question him, but it sounded more like I was begging him. I don't know, how did I turn so pathetic.

" I never thought her presence would have such an impact on you. You know very well that King and Princes have a lover. I thought you would be okay with it. Doesn't your father has one on his court also?" My eyes saw black. How could he? How dared he to compare his self to my father.

" No, my father didn't have a mistress. He loved and respected my mother. I know that my be a difficult concept for you, but there are husbands, who love their wives. There are husbands who would do anything to respect and make happy their wives, and there are other who would do anything to make them unhappy. For my bad luck, my husband belongs to the second category." I don't know why, but I had a urge to see him suffer for everything he had done to me. I had stopped myself many times before, because I didn't want to make him sad, but now I craved it. I wanted him to suffer like I did. I wanted him to know, how is to be humiliated and hopeless. I just wanted him to be at my place and get to suffer everything I did.

" I know I do, but I don't want anymore. I want to be better to you. I want to be better for us. I want we to have an other chance. I don't want to give-up on our marriage." He was pleading me with his eyes to understand him, but it wasn't passible. There have been many things. Too much pain, tears, broken drams and humiliation. How could I forget all than, just because he felt like playing the role of the good husband. How could I know he wouldn't change his mind after and turn to his old ways? How could I live after that? I don't think my heart can handle an other disappointment.

" It is all up to you, you know that. You are the only one, who can change your own behavior. I won't tell you what you have or what you should do, because you are old enough to take decisions." As soon as I say this his face lightens up.

" I promise you, Isabella, that I am going to change. I will prove it to you that I want our marriage to work." He was looking at me and some how urging me to talk. He was silently begging me to accept him back, but I know I couldn't do it.

" I find it great that you want to work on our marriage, but I find it difficult to trust you." There was something clear as water; the disappointment written on his face.

" Why do you always think bad of me?"

" Because till now I have few reasons to think good of you."

There was an other long pause. He seemed so lost. What I had said to him, had an big impact on him. I think the truth was downing on him. He was truly understanding, what he had done to me. He didn't seem to want to talk any longer and I didn't want to stay on bed with him and worse with this tense atmosphere between us. I made a move to get-up, but suddenly he reaches out for my hand and it's like electricity passes through it. " I am not over Isabella. I have so much more to say. I don't when know where to start from. I want to tell you everything that is inside me. Please tell me you are going to listen to me?" I needed to break the contact of our hands. It was like I couldn't even think clearly. I free my hand from his and see the sad expression of his face.

" I think you are right. Since we have started to talk, we should go till the end. I don't know how much this can help you but I am giving you, what you never gave me: a chance to explain and prove myself." I wasn't like him and I knew that. I was a better person than him. I didn't want my resentment to blind my mind.

" I have always been a selfish person." He says to me. Well, that was revelation of the year. Nothing I already knew.

" I don't why. Maybe it is my nature, but I could never really connect with other people. The only person I cared for was Masen. Of course I care for my family also, but is just that. Maybe is my parents fault, I am like that, because I never got the warmth of a family. I was the Crown-Pince and I had many duties to attend. Even when I was a child my day was full of activities and I never really spent time with them. I craved so much being with them, but my duty always came first. The only chance I got to be near them, was when I did something good and they were proud of me. I used to live about those moments, when my father would be proud of his son, but even than it never lasted more than a couple of minutes. As for my mother… I saw her even less. She was always busy being the Queen. I don't know how many time I was jalousie of the normal people, because they got more attention that I did from her. Even when I would complain, they would tell me to grow-up and behave as a prince. When I was seven my parents sent me away in an school to prepare myself for my future duty. I saw them just some weeks every somer. Maybe my mothers love would have made me more sensitive. Maybe I would be more compative if I had grow-up surrounded by love. The truth is that I turned into cold person that doesn't care for other people. I never think of other people as long as I get, what I want. This is who I am even though I am very ashamed right now."

Wow, that was a big confession. I know very well the person of being a prince, but at least I had the luck to have two great parents. They always made time for me and gave me their unconditional love. I was their only child and therefor their light of eyes. I know very well, how hard was for them to accept the treaty.

" I understand what you are trying to say to me, even though I have never felt it. I was blessed with two great parents, who loved me more than anything. There is something I don't understand. I know I didn't have your love, but at least I should have had your respect. You were not in love with me like I wasn't with you in the beginning, but I was your wife. What is there more important that your wife? I am going to be the mother of you heirs. Why didn't you gave me my place?"

He seemed a bit surprised. I didn't know, what was there to be surprised. His lover and he had deliberately humiliated me every chance they got.

" Isabella, I don't know what you are talking about. I told you, that here is quite normal having a mistress."

" Are you joking?" I couldn't believe my ears his courage. " How can it be normal to have a mistress? Explain it to me, because I don't understand it ?" I was getting so angry with him. How could he say, that humiliating me was normal and that putting some whore in front of me was normal also.

" Enough with this Isabella. I know that is painful, when one is in love with the other, but I know very well you weren't in love with me. Me having a lover is totally normal and no one was surprised of it. No one thought less of you, because of Tanya. You are my wife and the future Queen so no one would have dared to judge your position." I couldn't believe my ears. Please God tell me he isn't saying this.

" No one thought less of me? Are you sure about it? Because you lover doesn't think the same."

" What are you talking about? What does it even matter, what she thinks? You are the Princess and she doesn't have any say on it."

" I does matter what she thinks, when she has your protection, doesn't it? The little gold digger has no little power since she is your whore." I hated that she was playing the dumb role. I would be better for him to accept, what he had done with dignity.

" Isabella, I really don't know what you are talking about."

" Since you look so lost I can explain it to you. Do you know, how many times has she disrespected me openly? Do you know how many time she had offended me?" His eyes were falling out of the sockets.

" WHAT?" His voice was extremely loud. " She would never dare to disrespect you. She knows very well, what the consequences of that are."

" Don't pretend like you didn't know it. She would have never done it, if she didn't think you would have her back. You new very well, what she was doing." My heart was beating too fast in this moment. I was seeing the surpass in his face and I couldn't neglect it. I just can't accept the fact that she has played me. That old whore. I wish I could burn her alive. My God, I could see her burning alive and not do anything at all.

" Isabella, I promise you that, I had no idea, that she may had disrespected you. I would shave never tolerated that. You are my wife and if some is disrespectful toward you, its toward me as well. I won't ever permit someone behaving like that toward you. I know we have had problem, but I have always giving the place you deserved in the court. She was just my mistress nothing more."

I needed to to process, what I had heard. I had listened to her the entire time for nothing. I hated myself so much right now. I hated that I was this small and scarred girl, that couldn't secure her own place. I was a shame for a princess. How could I allow someone to disrespect me in my own house? I am the Princess, for crying out- loud. I was angry with my mother also. If she didn't interfere with my decision, I would have thrown her away long time ago. AAHHH God, I had so much anger inside of me. Why? Why did this happened to me?"

" Isabella, are you okay?" Was he asking me if I was okay. I couldn't even believe it. That was the most stupid question ever. Was I okay? Of course I was not. I have been paled in my won house, by the person I hate most. How should I feel? Joyous?

" No, I am not okay. I am not okay at all. I am angry, mad and totally furious. What do yo expect?" I was shouting at him. It was his fault. She was his whore. I hate him so badly. He wasn't better than her.

" Isabella, please calm down!" I feel his and trying to relax mine, but I couldn't. I was totally livid and there wash nothing that could calm me right now. I had lost everything because of him. Love, calm, mind, self respect, dignity: everything I once cared for.

" How can you ask me to calm down? HOW can you?!" Even though I was trying to control myself I wasn't doing a good job, because I was screaming again at him. There was so much inside of me and I had to get it out, before it explode. My nerves were collapsing.

" I am just scared something is going to happen at you. You are trembling so badly right now. Don't forget you lost consciousness last-night." He was true. I was trembling badly and sweating at the same time.

" Please, look at me, Isabelle. Tell me how you feel? Do you want me to call the doctor?"

" I don't need a doctor. As for, how I fell, the answer is quite simply: like the biggest failure in the entire world and you my love have contributed on that."

" Isabella, I promise you that this won't be lest unpunished." He was looking with that stupid face full with hope. Did he believe just punishing the whore would make me better. I had lost so much… I hated myself right now.

" Do you think that will make everything better? Do you think that will return me the respect I lost? Do yo thing that will compensate my pain?" He wasn't answering me but I didn't expect he to answer

" No, it want make me feel better. While it will give me a momentan satisfaction, that won't compensate for everything she has you have done to me, than how can I allow something happening to her? If my husbands happiness depends on her? Isn't it my dear? What kind of wife would I be, to do something like that?" I don't even know I had this biting sarcasm inside me. Well, he did push me to my limits, didn't he, even though he just got my bad qualities out.

" I understand that with punishing her everything won't be resolved. I feel terrible for what has happened. I never thought she would do something like that. She didn't have a reason to do it."

She did have a reason. What was he talking about. She was his lover and she was making sure to keep her place." I think she had a reason and you know it very well. Maybe being your lover gave her this right."

" Isabella, it has been months since she isn't my mistress." WHAT? What did he say? Months? That was impossible. He was lying to me, there is no other way.

" You are lying and I don't trust a word that comes out of your mouth." I wouldn't let him to play me. Not again.

" Look at me Isabella. Please!" I turn my head at him.

" I promise you that I am not lying to you. It has been months since we have been together. I didn't want to be with her anymore. I was starting to feel something for you and I wanted to dedicate myself totally, but than you kept pushing me aside. You were partying so much and spending the entire time with your friends. I tried staying with you, but you are always in a hurry to get me out. I knew I wasn't welcomed in your life. You had made it quite clear." I couldn't believe it. That didn't seem real at all. That just didn't make sense at all.

" I can't believe you. NO, no. This is a lie." I didn't want to hear him anymore. I had enough of his lies. There were just to many of them.

" I am not lying. This is the truth. I know that I should have said it to you, but I just couldn't. I was afraid of your refusal. I thought you would be angry with me and would try to make me pay for my mistakes. I wanted to keep it to myself, but I couldn't. When I saw you on the floor last-night, I thought I was losing my mind. I thought I had lost my chance to tell you everything. But I promised myself that If everything was fine and God made the miracle of protecting you, I would do everything to make you happy. I would change totally. Here you are totally oaky and I am here telling you the truth about my feelings."

" I don't know, what to think or what to say to you, Edward. Everything is so unbelievable and I just can't understand it."

" There is just something I am asking to you. Please give me a second chance? Let me prove that I have changed. If you are not sure you can refuse me later, but give us this chance."

He was looking me with this pleading eyes.

" So Isabella, will you gave me an other chance for me to be happy or not?"

**Well, here is the second part. I hope you will enjoy it.**

**What do you think will Isabella's answer be? More importantly what do you want her to answer? What would be a good punishment for Tanya?**

**I was a bit surprised. Normally as soon as a post a chapter, at least 1000 people read it. Last chapter were almost 1000 readers in total. I was more that surprised. Well I would appreciate if you could tell me, what you didn't like about last chapter.**

**I know Tuesday is not a cool day, so I hope I can make it better for you.**

**Thank you for reading this. It means a lot to me.**

**-E**


End file.
